Trump Unleashes Twitter Tirade On Kate Green's Birthday; Calls her "34 Million Years Old", Says KG Stands For "Krug Guzzler"

Just hours before the kickoff of the highly anticipated annual six-week-long celebration of Kate Elizabeth Green’s birthday, U.S. President Donald J. Trump took to Twitter, unleashing a series of lengthy - and often untrue, rude and misspelled - comments about the controversial and very public personal assistant to Nancy Silverton.

Three hours before the celebration was set to begin at the Firehouse Hotel in the Arts District of Los Angeles.Trump fired off a first Tweet, that, in light of his Sunday “super fuck-up” regarding the Sri Lanka attacks that he wrote “killed at least 138 million people”, could only be construed as petty. He wrote “Congratulations To Kate Green on herrr birthday. She’s 34 million years old. Boy, I thought she was only 31 million years old. She’s probably way too old for Crazy Joe Biden to molest”

Minutes later he followed that up with a “KG. people thought it means Kate Green. We know it means KRUG GUZZLER. Hey, Krug Guzzler, what’s wrong with American sparklers? Go back to France”

Not content to stop there, the President, who didn’t tweet at all today about Syria, Watts, Health Care or Sri Lanka, typed in “Hey Krug Guzzler, wasn’t it David Rosoff who schooled you that Krug didn’t come in a box?

Apparently fired up, trump didn’t let up. “Hey Krug Green, what ever happened to your Beaujolais period? You Bo-Joe phase only lasted 5 million years.”

Kate Green, who hired on at The Corner more than 12 years ago, burst on the national scene during the now-storied first anniversary of Pizzeria Mozza. It was on that night in 2007 when Nancy, going solely on the nearby seat Kate had taken, gave her credit for the restaurant’s success. Most in attendance, all Mozza employees, had no clue who she was. In fact, dozens in the crowd said “Kate who?”

Since then, well, she hasn’t been exactly shy in celebrating her successes and her birthdays. When she won the “30 Under 30” award in 2014, she hired Annie Leibowitz to take photographs of her and party attendees at a photo booth she had set up in Yosemite Valley with Half Dome as a backdrop. .

On her 30th birthday, an the Times of London ran a story that was later found out to be a hoax. The hoax? That a remote fishing village in Madagascar had NOT been aware of Kate Green’s upcoming birthday. Who could possible believe a story that claimed there was a place on Earth that wasn’t up on her birthday.

To read it in full … http://www.krikorianwrites.com/blog/2015/4/21/remote-village-in-east-madagascar-claims-to-have-no-knowledge-of-kate-greens-upcoming-birthday

An hour before press time here, Trump continued his tirade. “When Krug Guzzler lived in Modesto it was like a war zone. They called it the Fallujah of the Central Valley. But since she left and since i became president, Modesto is one of the safest cities in the world..”

As deadline approached, he threw in one more Twitter dig on Kate Green’s 34th birthday - “Your criminal Uncle Mike keeps promising you a bottle of Raveneau Chablis, Le Clos.. Where is the Raven-OH? I bet all he gave you on your 34th millionth birthday was some stupid story.”

Green, who was accompanying Silverton while the revered chef did a podcast in Hollywood, was unavailable for comment.

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