San Francisco, Tastes of the City - December, 2013

I dined at seven San Francisco restaurants recently and ordered only one dish - onion soup with bone marrow dumplings at Cotogna - and requested extra of one dessert - chocolate peanut butter fudge at Boulevard. Why? Because my dining companions ordered like just-released convicts gobbling on a stolen black Amex.

Bouli Bar, Zuni, Boulevard, Cotogna, Coqueta, Quince, Tosca Cafe is where I went with Nancy Silverton and friends: Nancy Oaks, Dahlia Narvaez, Lindsay Tusk, Michael Tusk, Jen Davidson,  Jonathan Waxman, Chad Colby, Hiro Sone and Lissa Doumani, who alone could order for the 6th Fleet. 

I spent six days total in San Francisco. The first four were with my nephew Mesrop, the priest of the St. John Armenian Church in Twin Peaks. Mesop, his wife Annie and I ate very well, too, though not lavishly. Still, of all the foods I ate in Herb Caen's Baghdad by the Bay, the best of the best was some bread and butter in Annie's kitchen. Details down this column. 

But, first, here are the dining highlights of our December trip to San Francisco.

KABOCHA & BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP at Boulevard. I was walking back from the bathroom here, which was a trek from our table near the front of the restaurant, when I spotted this closed-eyed lady relishing some soup.  Me, I'm into a good soup, unlike Nancy S who sometimes quotes - or misquotes - Mario B with a "soup sucks" quip. This soup didn't suck, I sucked it. It had this cave-aged 17-month-old Gruyere custard in the middle.  Damn. And there was some Burgundian truffles and Armangac up in this soup as well.  (Note - The Boulevard menu says the Gruyere is "cave"-aged, but it might have just been stored in a garage, for all I know.) 

CRISP HAMA HAMA OYSTERS & BEEF CARPACCIO at Boulevard.  Nancy Oaks "double plopped" ( the formal restaurant term for dropping two unexpected plates on diners) these scrumptious oysters with a batter did not mask their bright flavor. They came with spinach hollandaise, spinach oil and grated horseradish. Problem with these oysters was I had to share them with other people who so busy talking about restaurants I don't think appreciated the Hama Hamas like I did.

A Boulevard dinner menu - https://www.boulevardrestaurant.com/#menu-dinner

FAGOTELLI di FONDUTA  at Cotogna.  Cotogna is Michael and Lindsay Tusk's casual cousin to Quince and it is a place I always recommend to travelers to San Francisco, even to people I don't know and want nothing to do with me. This is basically a square, folded pasta stuffed with some cheese.  Right?   And that onion soup I ordered? I order it again. 

This here is the dinner menu http://www.cotognasf.com/pdf/cotogna-dinner.pdf

EGG WITH CRISPY POTATO at Coqueta. This Spain inspired jazzy spot by Michael Chiarello and his team,  at Pier 5 on The Embarcadero, was one of the delightful surprises of the trip. I never even heard of this place. But, I think Lissa and Hiro said "go" here. Everything was good, but this dish, a sunny-side egg topped with strands of potato and tender, medium shrimp was excellent.  We also had a sliced bone-in ribeye that tasted right. Michael Chiarello is the big name, but the chef de cuisine at Coqueta is Ryan Mcilwraith. 

Last night I was at the bar at Osteria Mozza and  Rod Dyer, the charming designer and long-time owner of the gone Pane e Vino, was raving about this Ryan. I had to agree.

Famed Mozza pastry chef Dahlia Narvaez said she wanted to bring her husband Chris Feldmeier to San Francisco just to eat at Coqueta  as soon as he goes on "hiatus". So that could be any moment. (That dude is on hiatus more than congress. I never heard anyone use that word so much as Feldmeier. He's like a kid who just learned how to say "motherfucker").  

But, Coqueta? Go. On top of it, the "barman', his name is Joe Cleveland. That's Damon Runyon for you right there.  

The lunch menu of Coqueta: http://coquetasf.com/wpcontent/uploads/2013/11/Coqueta_Lunch-Menu_110713.pdf

TRIBUTE TO JUDY RODGERS DINNER at Quince.  -  The second day I was in town at my nephew's i got a text from my friend, writer Kirk Russell, that "Judy was gone". The love of Kirk's life, his wife Judy Rodgers, famed chef of Zuni Cafe, author of Nancy Silverton's favorite cookbook, and valiant battler, had died at age 57. 

The reason Nancy S had come up here, with Dahlia and Chad Colby was to celebrate the 10th anniversary of Quince, which recently won a second star from the Michelin Guide. Her and Jonathan Waxman were staring. But, Lindsay and Michael Tusk, upon hearing about Judy, made it a tribute dinner with the proceeds gong to cancer research at UC San Diego that Kirk praised.  Out of respect to Judy, we all went by Zuni Cafe earlier for a five o'clock drink. 

The dinner that night was an eight course, six wine flingr that started with Chad Colby's masterful salumi and then moved on to Burrata with royal Osetra, that familiar old cheese and caviar routine we all grew up with.  Waxman's potato gnocchi with celery root and black truffle could - in a proper world - put popcorn outta business.  A tub of that and "Paper Moon". You feel me?

Michael Tusk didn't back off with a goose tortelllini. Waxman came on again with a homage to Judy's Zuni chicken. and then Chad swooped for the coup de grace with a rack of veal, or as we call it at chi Spacca, butter with veal meat and bones. Dahlia Navraez ended the show with an intense chocolate cake that your neighbor didn't make.

After that, we went out to eat at Tosca Café. Hey, I told you we were with Lissa Doumani. You may have heard of food sherpa's, folks from different cities who take travelers out to eat in their town. Well, Lissa is like my boy Tenzing Norgay, the Nepalese Sherpa  who guided  Ed Hillary up Mount Everest in 1953, 

Here's a Dec. 17th menu at Quince. You'll see the Tusks don't play.  http://quincerestaurant.com/brickandtimber/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Quince-menu52.pdf

MIDNIGHT SNACKS at Tosca Cafe.  I had never been to the North Beach landmark called Tosca, but after hearing several stories about this "dive saloon" with a juke box full of Puccini and Sinatra and a vivacious lady owner, I thought it was a borderline shame every city didn't have a Tosca.  Our Friend Michael Cooper told me about how he hadn't been to Tosca  for several years, went in recently and they knew his name, his drink and refused his money. Everyone likes that trio.

I understand it would be wrong to write about Tosca and not mention the heart of Tosca, Jeannette Etheredge. She's around, though not the owner anymore. Her likeness is on the coasters. That's tribute. 

So the Ken Friedman, savvy New York City restauranteur, gets the place, along with one of our favorite chefs, April Bloomfield, and Tosca's running strong on all eight cylinders. And one can still hear "Musseta's Waltz" or "I Get a Kick Out Of You" for a quarter.

We ordered about 15% of the menu and it was all tasty, though my taste was growing weary. Still, if you're looking for a place to fall off the wagon. go here. 

The ideal person to go with would be Jersey girl Jen Davidson, who is Jonathan Waxman's personal Kate Green. Jen is like, well, like she's has been injected with a new fun drug created by Walter White. I'd wager her and Kate together at nightfall would leave a swath of delirious destruction and lead a village to total moral decay. That's a compliment I don't give up often.   

Here's Tosca's menu and a photo of the Jennette coasters:  http://toscacafesf.com/food

PORK SHOULDER SANDWICH at Elmira Rosticceria.   On LIssa Doumani's tip, I went here with my nephew and wife.  Opened in May this year, it's is a small kinda modern place with open kitchen and a tempting chalkboard menu from Marc Passetti, former chef at the Fairmont hotel.  He's been dreaming up this place since Jerry Rice was catching touchdown passes from Joe Montana. The pork shoulder sandwich, with fennel and salsa verde on Acme roll, was devoured. We also shared a "lampredotto", a tripe sandwich like you get at a good food truck Florence. The flavor was spot on. I'd go back here for sure, especially if was near the Civic Center. I was going to go again with the whole  crew, but the passing of Judy gyrated plans. Here's Elmira Rosticerria's facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/ElmiraSanFrancisco

PITA BREAD WITH MEZZE  at Bouli Bar..  This is the new place of the ladies of Boulette's Larder, a long time Ferry Building favorite. The pita bread, damn, I think it was the best pita bread I ever had, not that I'm a pita scholar. The six, seven mezze I dipped the pita into  were all good, the standout being a hummus made of winter squash.  

Here's a Bouli Bar menu:  http://www.bouletteslarder.com/dl_menu_pdf/bouli_bar_lunch.pdf?1387483405523

BREAD AND BUTTER at Annie's Kitchen. - This was it. Way back at the top of this I wrote the top taste I had  in San Francisco was in the kitchen of my nephew and his wife, Annie.  i wrote that a long time ago, but I stand by it. The sesame bread was purchased hot from the oven of Tartine Bakery around 4 p.m., ( thee time to get bread there)_ and the salted butter was Pamplie from the Poitou Charentes region of France. I got it at Molly Stone, a very good grocery store in Twin Peaks.

Resisting on the Muni to tear into the bread and smear it, I went lion on zebra in the kitchen. Umm.  When I took those first blessed bites, I was thinking "Yeah. Bread and butter. Still my favorite."

Respect

PIta at Bouli Bar in Ferry Building

Elmira Rosticceria

Jen Davidson and a guy who I have 94 "mutual friends" with.

Father Mesrop and Annie at Cotogna

Hiro Sone tries in vain to swipe Michael Tusk's white truffle

Pizzeria Mozza's Hot Chocolate Under Investigation

After receiving a formal complaint from the American Hot Chocolate Society, a federal investigation has been launched into the "hot chocolate" served at Pizzeria Mozza to determine if the fabled dessert is what it claims to be, or actually a chocolate sauce.

If the inquiry finds the dessert, which bills itself as "Cioccolato Calda", is, in fact,  a sauce, it could be stripped of its many awards, including Best Hot Chocolate in the World, as well as America's Most Titillating Hot Chocolate.  

"It's not fair to other hot chocolates to be compared to Mozza's, not only because it's so much better, but because it's not even the same thing," said Wilhelm Von Smithers of the Hot Chocolate Institute based in Vienna, Austria. 

The hot chocolate served at Pizzeria Mozza. is a turbocharged version of what chef Nancy Silverton learned to make more than 30 years ago in Paris at Angelina on the Rue Rivoli. Silverton, gracious in crediting the originals, said she's added spices and a marshmallow topping to the Angelina version. 

Some Pizzeria Mozza loyalists felt the federal probe was just another waste of taxpayer's money. It was unclear at press time wither the Trump Administration would continue to fund the investigation after they begin to rot in hell.

"Who cares what it is?" said Sarah Culberon, a princess from the Southside of Sierra Leone. "The main and only thing is that it is absolutely delicious."

Princess of Sierra Leone savors Hot Chocolate

The Subject of a federal probe

Camel Defies San Diego Zoo Ban, Reads "Southside"

Openly defying an official order that banned the crime novel "Southside" from the San Diego Zoo, Mongo the Camel read the crime thriller at the tourist attraction Wednesday while thousands of visitors tried in vain to get his attention. 

Zoo officials, who had banned the critically acclaimed novel Monday in an effort to keep humans from reading  it - and therefore ignoring the animals -  were dumbfounded by Mongo's blatant ignoring of zoo rules as well as his apparent fascination with the Michael Krikorian book, 

Sources within the zoo quoted Mongo, a Bactrian or "Two Hump" camel from the Gobi Desert in the  Southside of Mongolia, as saying "Southside was the best book I've read since "Life of Pi'". 

Christi Carreno, a zoo events organizer, said that while the ban is still officially in effect,  zoo officials would meet in an emergency session today to consider all possibilities. "We want what's best for the animals and if they want to read Southside, then maybe the ban will be lifted for them. But, not for humans."

A Cape Buffalo, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said "We're gonna read Southside. That's not the question. The question is are we going to read legally or illegally. Me, I don't give a damn. I'm just waiting on my copy from Amazon. You feel me?"

Mongo reads the Krikorian thriller

San Diego Zoo Officials Ban "Southside"

"I didn't come all the way from Sumatra to be ignored for Southside" - Anthony the Tiger. ..

...Claiming the new crime novel by Michael Krikorian was inciting "gross animal ignoring", San Diego Zoo officials took extraordinary measures Tuesday and banned the crime writer's critical acclaimed "Southside" from the beloved tourist attraction.

"Too many people were reading the book and just walking right by the rhinos, hippos, tigers and others beasts and that's not fair to the animals," said Zoo official Christi Carreno. "Southside will no longer be allowed in the zoo. And, no, this is not a form of censorship It's simply pro-animal feelings."

Hailed as the best novel ever about a crime reporter covering street gangs, "Southside" chronicles the exploits of fictional journalist Michael Lyons as he explores Los Angeles' roughest neighborhoods. The book began showing up at the world famous San Diego Zoo last week and immediately caused problems.

"I took a bath, shampooed my coat, even used that Paul Mitchell conditioner one of the zebras gave me, but so many visitors walked right by with their snout in that damn Southside book," said Fatbiscuit, a hippopotamus from the Eastside of Uganda.

But, it was an Indian rhinoceros who lead the movement to ban Krikorian's novel by starting a hunger strike this past weekend. The rhino, Calcutta Slim, said he would refrain from any tandoori-based snacks until the book was banned. Other animals quickly joined the hunger strike, including the lions who said they would not eat humans until Southside is banished.

Monday their demands were met.

(Humans will be rerouted around the lion's den for at least one week.)

Zoo visitor ignores Calcutta Slim

Pastry Chef Narvaez Gave Russians Budino Secrets

Renowned American pastry chef Dahlia Navaez was arrested Monday in San Diego after FBI agents discovered she had supplied the Russians with top secret Mozza recipes including  the classified caramel-to-butterscotch ratio on the restaurant's trademark budino.

Navarez is being held without bail at the brig of the USS Midway aircraft carrier which is docked less than half a mile from Pizzeria Mozza San Diego which is set to open today in Seaport Village.

"National security does not just involve guns and bombs, it entails butter and salt also, " said U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder.  "When a country has an advantage over an enemy, do not supply that enemy with  that advantage. But, that's what Narvaez has done. Allegedly."
Under the rules of the Geneva Convention's .Code of Prisoner Treatment, Narvaez was allowed to have one book. Without hesitation, Narvaez demanded - and received - the highly praised crime novel "Southside" by MIchael Krikorian .

Dahlia in the brig at the USS Midway

Fried Skrimps ( and some good Eggplant)

At Chengdu Taste, a Chinese restaurant in Alhambra, I joined a celebration for Laurie Ochoa's birthday the other evening.  As her husband was ordering all these spicy Schezuan dishes, I called out to the waiter, (with Laurie's assistance) "I'm gonna have some of them fried skrimps. That fried shrimp with eggs. Number 96." My frequent dining companion - and love of my life - Nancy Silverton turned to me, smiled and whispered "You're an idiot."

"Why? 'Cause i want some fried shrimp?  I don't want everything all super spicy." 

 "Fried shrimps? That's embarrassing. Plus, don't call them skrimps."

Ten minutes later, Schezuan peppercorn-dotted platters starting dropping on our 10-top like flyers announcing an upcoming bombing raid. Inundated we were. Tea cups were double-decked to make more room on the table that was transformed into a puzzle board  Hey, that duck'll fit there. There was some kind a chicken tidbits with more bones than a Stockholm porno convention. A plate of cold, sliced farm animal so strange that even our table's restaurant critic wasn't sure what it was. Some other plates, all mediocre to me.

Then came the sauteed eggplant with garlic sauce.  This was some good eggplant. I forgot how good eggplant could be.  I'm not saying you gotta drive out to Alhambra just for this eggplant, even if you're in nearby Temple City,  but, if you are at Chengdu, be sure to order it. Number 46, $7.99..    

(Getting back to Temple City for a moment, If anyone knows how many temples there are in that city, let me know. Ralph Waxman, the dean of servers at Mozza, suggested that there were at least twice the number of temples as there are people in Temple City.} 

About 45 seconds after the eggplant made a splash. here comes lamb toothpicks, extremely tasty cumin-coated lamb pieces about the size of a individual Rollo.  I had at least 15 of them, roughly a shoulder chop worth. 

Then came those fried shrimp with eggs. Before it even landed, Nancy was praising the dish, complementing the visual fluffiness of the scrambled eggs and the plumpness of the non-batter sauteed shrimp like she had ordered the dish.  

The shrimp and eggs, the eggplant, those lamb toothpicks. So good I whispered to Nancy, only semi-joshing, that this was "the second best Chinese restaurant in America.." 

Five seconds later, not even. Nancy announced to the table that "This place ( we didn't know the name of it at that point. Like, "Where are we?" ) is the greatest Chinese restaurant in the world."  The woman is constantly stealing key lines from me, then modifying slightly as to claim her own. 

A fish that looked like it had curly fries sticking out his ass made quite a splash. Jonathan Gold wrote masterly about it a few days ago here. http://www.latimes.com/food/dailydish/la-dd-sichuan-lion-fish-chengdu-taste-20131021,0,7720564.story#axzz2iYcRj3UL

Birthday lady Laurie had a fish soup with a jar full of Schezuan peppercorns that made me mouth mini-vibrate like there was a frigate's fog horn going off near my molars.  

Chenku is now my new favorite Chinese restaurant in town, not that I know much about the subject.. But, it must be a slew of others' top pick, too. When we walked out the sidewalk, the scene reminded me of a Saturday night outside Pizzeria Mozza. or even a night outside Pepe in Grani in Campania. ( http://krikorianwrites.com/blog/2013/9/2/the-worlds-second-best-pizza ) A couple dozen people, waiting easy to get in, knowing something good would soon be dropping on their table.

As we sped on to the Long Beach Freeway from Valley Boulevard, passing my Cal State L.A.  alma mater, I said to Nancy "Those shrimp and eggs were good, right?"

"Delicious." 

"So you still think i'm an idiot?" 

"Sometimes. But, maybe not tonight." 

Chengdu Taste is 828 W. Valley Boulevard, Alhambra. Open 7 days 11:00 a.m. to Midnight. (626) 588-2284.    

Waiting easy on Valley Boulevard

Peppercorn fish soup

Lion Fish .wanna be. 

Wild Celebration in Panzano At Butcher Dario Cecchini’s Wife Kim's Birthday Party Leaves Several Injured

Sept, 29, 2013 A.D.

At least 14 people were wounded by falling bullets Saturday in Tuscany after rambunctious revelers fired their AK-47s skyward in a wild celebration for the birthday of Kimberly Wicks,  aka "The Grace Kelly of Panzano" , aka "Killa Kim".  None of injuries were life threatening, though many reported a strange, even-more-intense-than-usual craving for "Burro di Chianti" aka lardo.

Officials estimated  up to six million people converged on the Chianti countryside to get a chance to met Kim and Dario Cechini, a butcher much better known as "Kim's Husband."  In downtown Panzano itself, where the couple are often found working, drinking and generally having a wonderful life, the mood was that of a liberated village.

Cleaning crews from around Europe and the Middle East were still being deployed in Tuscany late Sunday following a massive and wild celebration

Wicks, whose official title is Head Dishwasher at Antica Macelleria Cecchini, is widely considered to be the First Lady of Panzano. She first came to Italy in the 1990s, hoping to escape a life of crime in California where she hung out with the like of Big Evil, and Big Mike, both of the infamous MAKMAK47 Revolutionary Brigade. It was in California where she earned the nickname Killa Kim", as well as her other Nom de Guerre "The Blonde Widow" after her first nine husbands died mysteriously.  

Her tenth  husband, Dario "the Butcher", seems to be having the time of his life. As a gift to his beloved wife, Dario presented Kim with a 2,337 year-old-tin of Ancho;vies, originally given to Alexander the Great for conquering Panzano in 324 b.c..

 Alexander had stashed the tin with orders not to open until "Another extraordinary event occurs in, in, where are we again? India? Persia? Tyre? Oh, yeah, Panzano" 

Legendary tin once presented to Alexander

Bread and pastry man delivers

Throngs crowd Panzano Streets to get near Kim Wicks

SOUP OF THE SUMMER NOMINATIONS ANNOUNCED

Tre Zuppe of Summer MMXIII 

Sept, 22, 2013

Me, I'm a guy who savors a really good soup, yet I will quickly push aside a faulty soup and wonder "Why the hell did I order soup?" On these bad or even so-so soup occasions you can safely wager my frequent dining companion Nancy Silverton will say "That's what you get for ordering soup." . 

On this, the first day of Autumn,  I look back on our Summer Italy MMXIII, and recall three soups so good they were nominated for the Soup of the Summer award. (The winner will be announced at the Waldorf Astoria in East St. Louis, Illinois later this year.)

The first outstanding soup  was at one of my favorite less-than-two-hours from Panicale restaurants, Locanda Del Glicine, (http://www.cantinapievevecchia.com/locanda/ristorante/)  in the midieval town of Campagnatico.  That's in kinda south Tuscany, about 20 miles from the Tyrrhenian Sea, a clique of the Mediterranean.   

Last year I had the Soup of the Year winner here, a gazpacho. But, at this lunch the manager said the garden tomatoes were not quite ready.  Though disappointed, I could appreciate that. 

So instead i had the soup they did offer that mid-July lunch, a cream of zucchini with a icy sorbet of ricotta plunked in the middle. Try telling the homies you had a soup with cheese sherbert on it. Anyway, it was excellent.  Not the level of last year's storied gazpacho. but good enough to get in a 2013 SOS competition. 

The second nominated soup was  in Florence at Cibreo Trattoria. Here, at the little sister to one of Florence's premiere dining establishments. Cibreo Ristorante, I had a porcini soup that was thick and very accurately named. This soup, every bite, or I guess, what, you don't bite a soup, every spoonful. slurp, swallow. this soup was yelling "I'm a porcini! I am porcini!. Don't for a minute even think I'm a goddamn button mushroom." Soup was rich.   

The third finalists was in Citta Del Pieve, a hilltop town around 30 minutes from Panicale. Here our friend Alan Mori, aka "A", aka "Jack Reacher", told us about Bistrot del Duca..  (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bistrot-del-duca/176113152403336#!/pages/Bistrot-del-duca/176113152403336)

When Christian, the chef/owner recited the menu and said "cold cucumber soup", I was there.  This soup  was the cool essence of one of my favorite vegetables, a vegetable so breezy that calling it a vegetable don't even seem right. I can see the cucumber from this Bistrot Del Duca garden complaining about even being planted in the vegetable section.  Like "Put me over by the fruits or, better yet. stick me in there with my ice cream boys."    

A cucumber soup is supposed to be refreshing so there's pressure on a chef to make it extra refreshing. Chef Christian's soup came through. 

Here's the soups ( zuppe) from Glicine and Duca. (Nancy's phone has the porcini soup and she's somewhere over Tennessee now.)

Zucchini soup at Locanda del Glicine in the Maremma

Cucumber soup from Bistrot Del Duca in Citta Del Pieve.

The Linguini That Saved Naples

"Where are you staying in Naples?" asked the concierge of La Scalinatella, our quarters for a rich August week in Capri where a lone piece of sidewalk trash would elicit stares.

The Una Napoli Hotel, I told her. Near the main train station. If I had said "The Motel Five on the Southside of Aleppo, Syria" no greater look of alarm would have resulted. "It's far too dangerous," MIss Concierge warned. 

Nancy was just about to have her cancel our 70 euro-a-night pad for a 250 euro recommendation when I pulled her aside. "She lives in Capri. Her version of dangerous and mine, even yours, is, ya know, different."

So we stayed at the Una Napoli.  It was good enough for our 20 hours in Naples, though I could see the Capri point of view.  The blocks surrounding the hotel were kinda grimy. But, soon after we started our all-day stroll through the city, it became apparent those blocks near the hotel were not seldom seen in old Napoli. They were typical.  

"This whole city needs to be dragged through a car wash," I told Nancy as we walked for kilometers, nearly every wall here in need of a deep mortar cleansing and hi-pressure rinse. I have never seen a more graffiti-splattered city. Every single church. even their Duomo, was spray-painted. 

It was my kind of town. 

But, not our kind of day. Don't go to Naples on a Monday in mid-August. I had printed out a "36 Hours in Naples" from a January, 2013  New York Times article ( http://travel.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/travel/36-hours-in-naples-italy.html?pagewanted=all ) and, along with some Faith Willinger recommendations, we had places to check. They were all closed.  

Except for Da Dora Ristorante. (http://www.ristorantedadora.com/)  But, our reservation there was not 'til 9 p.m..   

So, for hours we walked. Four hours plus we walked.  It was hot, too, about 93 or so. We strolled the nearly deserted waterfront streets Via Caracciolo and Via Partenope and had warm, offensive red wine that even Nancy Silverton couldn't and wouldn't drink. We ambled through Chiaia, the area the NY Times proclaimed the "city's prime night life zone", studded with boutiques, art galleries and wine bars. That Southside of Aleppo would have been livelier

So, we stepped early to Da Dora, a mom and pop seafood restaurant on a narrow residential street lined with folding chairs occupied by middle-aged men and women fanning themselves, old teenage girls bouncing babies, and an Andy Garcia "Godfather III" character look-a-like who had a Che Guevara tattoo on his right forearm. Che and his neighbors eyed us without welcome.   

At Da Dora,  we were told "come back at eight."  We debated to cancel and head back to the Una Napoli.  No. At least Da Dora was open. We .walked around these drab blocks for another hour.  "If there's a murder in this neighborhood tonight," Nancy said, "And the police come around asking these people if they saw any unusual people..."   I laughed. She didn't.

*** 

The English-speaking waiter Antonio, who, (according to a Chowhound post by "Indy 67"  I read two days ago ) is "famous for his knowledge of state capitals," took our order. Linguini with seafood for me,  a shellfish platter for her and a fish soup for two.   

After finding out we were from Los Angeles, Antonio wasted no time, asking me if I knew the capital of California.  Before I responded, he said "Sacramento."  Soon we were tossing states back and forth. I know my capitals quite well, but when he said "Kentucky",  I had no idea. Even now, now that I know it's Frankfurt, it still doesn't sound right.  Tony's gloat didn't last long as i got him wiith Montana ( Helena) and South Dakota, ( Pierre).  Mess with me on some U.S. capitals. Italian, please.

Soon, he put the linguini with seafood down. One bite, that's all it took for me to know this was something extraordinary. One bite to make me close my eyes and savor.  One bite to know we had been so right to wait.  

The pasta was cooked to the right second. The sauce, to call this a "Tomato Sauce" would be like calling Sandy Koufax “a pitcher”. The assortment of seafood - lobster, shrimp, squid, mussels, clams - was so fresh it seemed like you could hear them talking to each other about what it was like to get captured earlier that day in Naples Bay. (Ok, Mike, back off. That's enough, Just admit here you're not a food writer.)  

I'm not a food writer. Clearly . But, that linguini was so damn delicious. it was one of those dishes that, as it began to become clear that it would soon be gone, I slowed my savour down considerably.  

Nancy's dish and the fish soup we split were both superb. But, that linguini. I'd go back to Naples on a Monday in August just to have that linguini again. 

###### 

(WARNING : Read further at own peril.) 

Advanced technology reached extraordinary levels during my stay in Naples when the NSA was able to decipher a highly encrypted conversation between the various shellfish on the plate of the above-described linguini. 

The conversation:

Clam on the pasta - What you doin' here, Red?

Lobster - You believe this shit? I was chilling in the Bay, taking it in, and all a sudden, Swosh. I'm in a goddamn net. 

Large Shrimp - Me 'n my boys, too. Fuck it, Was bound to happen. 'Least i ended up at Da Dora. Heard some my homies got froze to death and shipped out to Dubai.

Lobster -  I know what you mean. They boiled the shit out my cousin in China somewhere.

Shrimp - Yeah. You gotta go, might as well be to Da Dora.

Clam - And check it. That's Nancy Silverton eating with this guy.

Shrimp - She's having some assorted. 

Lobster -  I'd like to "Therma" her-"door", You feel me?

Shrimp - Indeed.  I go " Jumbo" on her. 

Clam  - Incoming!! 

(Much static is heard on the leaked NSA recording. The all is quiet, except a human saying "Damn, that was good.") 

The LInguini that saved Naples

Che in Naples

Da Dora's fish soup 

Dora and her husband

The waiter who knows the capitals