NRL Shocker - Pizzeria Mozza Trades Tagorda For Chi Spacca's DeNicola

In news that sent shock waves throughout the National Restaurant League, United Mozza announced Sunday that Pizzeria sous chef Joe "GQ" Tagorda will be traded to Chi Spacca for their own sous chef, Ryan Vito DeNicola. 

Although complete details of the trade were not made public, sources said Spacca would also get two first round 2015 draft choices from the Culinary Institute of America, while Pizzeria Mozza would get a new front door which completely shuts..

Pizzeria Mozza general manager Arielle Chernin said she was delighted to be getting DeNicola. "He's a very nice guy and I say any time an Italian restaurant can get guy who has 'Vito' for middle name, go for it."

Tagorda who worked at the Pizzeria for nearly five years, was excited about the trade.  "I'm thrilled to be joining the Chi Spacca team and I know i can make the place more stylish," said Tagorda in his last official oven appearance Sunday evening at the Pizzeria. "The food is great at Spacca. but have you ever seen the way Chad dresses? Not exactly Ralph Lauren."

In his career at Pizzeria Mozza, Tagorda made 2,130 pizzas, burning 145. for a very fine 93% success rating.  (In comparison, storied pizzaiola Chris Bianco, of Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix has 98.8 % completion rating, highest of all active pizza makers in the National Restaurant League.. On the other end of the spectrum, former cook Sam Schramberg had a 5% completion rating, burning 19 or the 20 pizzas he made as a line cook before moving onto management.)

DeNicola, in his nearly two years at Chi Spacca, grilled for 520 bistecca alla Fiorentina, botching only 26 or them,  (95%) and had a very impressive 93.2% satisfaction rating on his tomahawk chop..

Tagorda was unfazed by those numbers. "Yes Ryan is fine cook, but I look better."

Spacca's chef Chad Colby said he would miss his long-time right hand man  but was glad to get out of DeNicola's five-year contract, rumored to be $7 million a year, plus incentives. Tagorda will start out making $9 an hour, but could go up to $13.25 by 2017. In addition, Spacca will pay for Tagorda's personal grooming, said to run upwards of  $1,500 a day. 

Top Secret Photo Reveals the Future of Gelato in Nancy Silverton's Freezer

Rumors have been circulating for months that Nancy Silverton was going to be making gelato and sorbetto sold in pints available in markets across the United States. Every time reporters had questioned her about this venture, she would simply reply "Nothing has been signed."

When reached in Italy early Sunday morning, January 3rd, Silverton told a reporter "Haven't you anything better to write about? Aren't there all those killings on the streets that begin with 80?" Then she hung up.

However, an appliance repairman, making a routine house call to Silverton's home in Green Meadows, was both pleasantly surprised and deeply disappointed when he opened her freezer New Year's Day and saw an enticing pint of something labeled. "Nancy's Fancy".

The repairman, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said "I hadn't been so excited since opening night at Pizzeria Mozza."  He quickly snapped a  photograph (seen below) with the Hassleblad 503CW he carries on his tool belt.

Alas, the thrill was soon over. The container was empty. However, there was evidence something had been ravaged  inside that container as fork marks were clearly visible.

Novelist Ruth Reichl, no stranger to Silverton's freezer, would not comment on the photograph's credibility even though, according to the repairman, the back of the container recounts a story of Reichl seeing Silverton sitting on a floor churning away.

Renowned San Francisco chef Dominique was thrilled at even the prospect of a gelato made by Nancy Silverton. When told of its possibility, she dipped into a sensual reverie. "Hot winter in San Francisco. I am taken by surprise by 100 degree Fahrenheit. While strolling the streets, my body is craving a sweet luxurious taste of refreshing goodness  I need to find that place, not negotiable. Nothing can take the place of my Nancy's Fancy.

More to come as this important story unfolds. And folds. 

A spokesman for Tim tam said "That's one classy ass freezer."

. 

LA Weekly Review Slams Chi Spacca as Not "World Class", Demonstrations Erupt in Three Continents

Demonstrations continued to erupt over the weekend in three continents after a scathing restaurant review in the Los Angeles Weekly boldly stated that Chi Spacca, the revered Mozza Family restaurant, was not "World Class".

The review, published in the Dec.18, 2014 issue of the Weekly, highly-praised Chi Spacca for service and food, and even awarded it a rare four stars signifying it as "excellent", but stopped short of the top honor of five stars which the paper defines as "World-Class".

"To flat out deny Chi Spacca the world class status is a travesty," said Maurice Curnonsky, the  Prince of Gastronomy in Paris.  "If you picked up Spacca and dropped it on the Rue Royale it would be a smashing success. If it was plunked down in old London town, there'd be a line around the block to get in. Same thing for Rio, Tokyo, Khartoum, and Moscow. If that's not world class, then what is?" 

While the demonstrations for the most part were peaceful, several people were arrested Sunday night in Pyongyang, North Korea for carrying signs that read "Chef [Chad] Colby cooks better than Kim Jong-un".  Jong-un, a self-proclaimed "Grill Master" was said to be distraught over the signs.

In the Central African Republic, interim president Catherine Samba-Panza called for a six-week ban on the Weekly. "In times like these, we all need to come together and encourage each other, not deny dreams," said Samba-Panza at a unruly news conference held Monday morning in the capital city of Bangui. "Hell, Colby and  [sous chef] DeNicola make a Bistecca alla Congo that is to spear for."

Also, outside of Gallup, New Mexico, 13 Apaches were arrested Sunday morning when they threw tomahawk pork chops at passing tourists, one who sustained a black and blue eye. 

To the review's credit, the Weekly lauded Spacca for its steaks ("some of Los Angeles' great special-occasion dishes") , its charcuterie ("fantastic") and added chef Colby's "food should be considered a prize."

While many were upset Chi Spacca didn't get the five, others were astounded .the world, with all its problems, would react so vociferously.  

"What the big fuss all over the world about Spacca getting only four stars? " said Ludo Lefebvre chef owner of Trois Mec and Petit Trois, both of which were awarded four stars by the Weekly. "Get over it. It is four stars. Be happy. I was."

One customer was thrilled Spacca did not get five stars.

"I wish they only got two stars so it would be easier to get in," said Dan Pirelli, owner of the Wine Hotel on 3rd Street who did not eat at Chi Spacca on October 13, November 10th and Dec. 3rd. 

Chef Chad Colby, who had predicted Spacca would get six stars, could not be reached for comment.

****

The Weekly review -http://www.laweekly.com/squidink/2014/12/16/chi-spacca-review-artistry-well-beyond-the-butchers-block

Lamb Chops at Athens Taverna Rated "Good Enough For Zeus"

My dining highlight during four days in Greece last week was at simple taverna in Athens  called To Steki tou Ilia in the neighborhood of Thiselo, if that means anything to you.

i savored  what I later learned had been rated by The International Panel  (TIP) as "Good Enough For Zeus" (GEFZ);  lamb chops, known here as "paidakia",  so tasty that i contemplated ordering another portion because I did not want this delicious dinner to end. 

The chops - marinated in thyme oregano. lemon juice, salt and  pepper then charcoal grilled to smoky, thin succulence   - are listed on the menu as a kilo (2.2. pounds) for 30 euro. But,  the owner/waiter he hooked me up with a single portion for nine euro!  One of the restaurant world's supreme bargains. 

I need to give credit to one Despina Trivolis who wrote an article for the excellent website Culinary Backstreets in September 28, 2012 that I luckily found.  Thank you, Despina. whoever you are. Here's her article  http://www.culinarybackstreets.com/athens/2012/paidakia/

To Steki tou Ilia (first branch) Address: Eptachalkou 5, Thiseio Telephone: +30 210 345 8052  Hours: Mon.-Fri. 8pm-midnight; Sat. noon-4pm & 8pm-midnight; Sun. noon-4pm NOTE I went on a Sunday and it was open at 9 p,m, so check 

There is a second branch nearby.

* This was the only dish I had in Greece rated GEFZ by TIP. However, TIP did give  a Good Enough For Ajax (GEFA) to a roasted lamb shoulder at a family cafe called Godfather in Corfu and a Good Enough For Agamemnon (GEFAG) to the octopus at To Kare Tou Meze in Itea, near Delphi.  https://www.facebook.com/ToKareTouMeze

** Zeus himself, who has a palace about three kilometers away, is usually at the first location on Tuesday for lunch and Friday for dinner at table 4, eating kilos of chops and deciding which worldwide calamities are worth his direct involvement. 

Lamb chops good enough for the gods

The Oracle of Delphi Explains Why Monty is Leaving Los Angeles

I was in Greece when the shocking news broke that Montgomery "Monty" Maguire,  the most charmingly disgruntled employee in the long, colorful history of Mozza - and one of my favorites - was leaving. I asked Nancy why and she said  "He's moving to the south".  

Why? I mean who would actually move to the south? I had never even heard of such a thing. The day after hearing this, I found myself in the ancient city of Delphi so I hiked up to the Temple of Apollo where the Oracle of Delphi resides, ( rent free for over 3,000 years I am told) and had a fairly extensive chat with Pythia, the oracle and a priestess of Apollo, the Sun God himself. Talk about a gig. 

I had many questions for her, including one Nancy told me to ask the oracle., ("What is the meaning of life?).  Then I asked Pythia the real reason Monty was leaving Los Angeles. She blew off the rest of a joint and told me the following. 

"The real reasons Monty is leaving are varied and complex, The following played vital roles in his decision to leave town."

9. Felt responsibility and shame for having poured Verona her first drink and leading her down a path of debauchery and pillage.

8. Could no longer work with Brian Monahan after his daughter Marlo told him, "That guy looks at me funny."

7. Grew weary of hearing the countless tales of Puerto Rican life in the South Bronx from Luis.

6. Fled after being tipped off a DEA investigation had uncovered the "tapenade" Taylor Grant would ask for during shifts was actually black tar heroin.

5. Did not want Marlo growing up surrounded by hipster douche bags who complained their chablis was not "flinty" enough

4. Got a better paying job as Tony Romo's personal masseuse.

3.. Heard that David Rosoff had sold TMZ security camera footage of Monty and Timothy Jenkins (aka "That Black Bartender") locked in an intimate embrace while "closing "

2. Re-upped with Delta Force and is going to Syria and Iraq to kill those cowardly ISIL pussies

And the Number One reason Monty is leaving? Could no longer resist the way his wife Elizabeth Few would say "You know, Montgomery, Virginia is for lovers."

I'll miss you Monty. 

The Sun God's Temple in Delphi, Greece

Meal of the Year at an Outpost of the World's Greatest Chef

A few days ago, Nancy S and I had a lunch so supreme at a hotel in Monte Carlo it easily warranted  the headline of this post. The headline is even kinda mild. I’ve had some great restaurant meals with Nancy over the past eleven years, but for sheer flavor, sheer close-your-eyes deliciousness of every bite, nothing topped this lunch at the at Joel Robuchon’s restaurant at the Hotel Metropole.

This outpost of Robuchon, at 69 still the world’s greatest chef, is not on any lists of the world’s best restaurants. And I can understand that. This is not even a flagship of  the Supernatural One, who has Michelin three star establishments in Macau, Tokyo, Hong Kong and Las Vegas. The guy has a total of something like 25 Michelin stars, two of them at this restaurant in Monte Carlo where Christopher Cussac is the head chef.

And I get why this Monaco spot is not a “Three Star’, which requires more than simply divine food. Three times plates crashed to the floor of the dining room and kitchen entrance point. And the décor, while attractive, is like a good hotel dining room. We walked in without a reservation.

But, the food, it rendered superlatives useless.  We sat at a counter with a close view of the open kitchen where the cooks moved with precision and almost never spoke. (This is in 180 degree contrast from Robuchon's mythical restaurant Jamin in Paris where he first earned acclaim and where local L.A. chefs Sang Yoon and Ludo Lefebvre worked and said they were constantly yelled at by the master's chef de cuisine Benoit Guichard to the point of cruelty)  

From a standing start, the meal took off like the 1,200 horsepower Bugatti Veyron Super Sport parked in front of the hotel; a rolling cart of eight breads and rolls and a cylinder of Bordier butter – salted to Robuchon’s specs – the size of 155 mm howitzer shell.  I started with what they called a puff pastry roll coated with the butter. I had 11 of them, all slathered, which I was later told was just two short of the world record held by Franz Klammer, the skier.

There was a platter of Iberico ham from Joselito, and some tomato bread that Nancy found full of wonder. There was this soup of  cockles, calms and chanterelles in a vermouth shellfish broth that needs to have its own category and roasted lamb, me, some shoulder and leg, Nancy, some rib chops.

The bill was 360 euro with a couple glasses of red Coteaux-d'Aix-en-Provence.

The younger generation may hear about other chefs being the top.. But, I think those chefs, most of them, at least, would agree that Joel Robuchon is the greatest chef in the world.  

Salt & Straw Shatters Ice Cream Sales Record in L.A. Debut

Salt & Straw, once Portland's little ice cream cart that could, shattered the  American record for two-day sales of ice cream at their just-opened shoppe on Larchmont Boulevard in Los Angeles, officials  announced Monday morning

When all the sales figures were tallied, Salt & Straw had  had amassed $125,988 in gross sales over this past weekend, a spokeswoman for the National Ice Cream Organization (NICO) announced during a press conference  at the Fairmont  Hotel in San Francisco.  The previous record mark had been $114,345 at the opening of the C.C. Brown's  in Furnace Creek, Death Valley, California during the infamous 1969 heat wave. 

Unfortunately for Salt & Straw's owners, first cousins Kim and Tyler Malek, the actual net profits this past weekend were a paltry $457, as much of the gross was spent on the high quality ingredients of the ice creams and on "excessive"  samples. 

An independent report by NICO states that a "very large portion" of the record gross sales was lost in the "ridiculously high number of free samples" the Salt & Straw staff gave away to the thousands of customers. NICO estimated for every $5 dollars a customer spent , they received $4.89 in samples. 

"That's no way to run a business," said Richard Goldman of Goldman Sachs. "It'd be like buying a Porsche Turbo S and the salesman throws in  a Carrera 4S for free." 

The lines along Larchmont were like nothing the street has ever seen, longtime residents said.  At 10:15 p.m. on Saturday night, there were 42 people lined up outside the shoppe.  At 2:30 p.m. Sunday, there were 50 people in line.  The lines seemed to move along without major incident and the people seemed happy to be in the line.  The LAPD, bought in to control the lines,  said no "serious" arrests were made

Many in line had heard of the generosity of Kim, Tyler and the staff.

"I don't have any money," said one man in line who refused to give his name. "But, i heard i can have four or five  samples.  Shit, i look dumb to you? Salt & Straw is the best deal in town."

Salt & Straw is at 240 N. Larchmont Boulevard ( about five stores south of Beverly Blvd.) near the magazine rack. They are open from 10 a.m. to 11 p.m.  See the photo below for ice cream flavors.

NOTE : Salt & Straw's feisty "Sea Salt with Caramel Ribbons", one of the favorites,  was featured in this  Feb. 12, 2014 article :  http://krikorianwrites.com/blog/2014/2/11/t167qq7z49nwphlnqc9y6y4bdlmsot

"Wanna sample something good?" is a statement Kim Malek, co owner of Salt & Straw says a lot.

Tyler Malek and his menu.

Villa Roncalli Officially Declared Best Restaurant in Umbria

Villa Roncalli, chef Maria Luisa Scolastra's  sublime shrine of  Italian home cooking taken to a stratospheric level,  was officially declared the best restaurant in Umbria by the Panicale Panthers. the elite dining commando unit of Team Italy 2014.

The Panthers, aka Le Pantere, dined at Villa Roncalli in the eastern  Umbrian city of Folgino three times this season, never having the same dish twice and never not proclaiming a dish to be ."Delicious!".

"Villa Roncalli is one of my favorite restaurants, not just in Umbria, but anywhere," said capitana Pantera  Nancy Silverton   

The last meal began at nine, ended after midnight, and, like the other feasts,  lived up.  I won't do justice to the courses we ate, other than to say we relished most bites in silence for several seconds,  taste buds overwhelming spoken words, until a simple nod or, as noted above. a superlative, proper in this case, was uttered. (The term "so good" was said so many times during our meal II here - a Sunday lunch - that the owner of the property came to our table (of six) and told us if we said that one more time we would be asked to leave.) 

Each meal included a soup that was thick and green and . deep in flavor* and  based on what chef Luisa had pulled from the garden that evening. Yes, not that day, that evening. The first time I saw her, was about 8:30 at night, and she was walking back from her garden, her arms full of onions and fennel and other vegetables destined for soup. This weren't soup that had been simmering for hours. They were just made..

As for risotto,  here's was I stated in a previous article. that Grizzly bears repeating. "That porcini risotto could drive to a risotto convention and there'd be a reserved parking space for it right by the entrance."    For that review  http://krikorianwrites.com/blog/2014/7/27/pks5wt8xkb500xfkuwu7d6ca4u9ica

2014 Italy is about over, but I know next year we are destined to go back to Villa Roncalli.

If you are in a hurry, don't come here. Go somewhere else. And if you are in a hurry and want a fast, easy read, don't read "Goldfinch".. And if you are in a hurry and want no curves,  don't take Highway One or the Nurburgring..  

* An effort was made - and successfully so - not to add the word "Staggeringly" in front of "deep". 

 .  .   

Chicken President Is Thrilled Silverton's Omelet Elected to EGAM

An emotional president of the World Chicken Organization said that "all the pain, suffering, humiliation, all the horrible living conditions and jokes that we chickens have endured for centuries because we lay eggs has been wiped out" after learning that a three-egg omelet made by Nancy Silverton for lunch Thursday was immediately inducted into the Earth's Greatest Accomplishments Museum, (EGAM) in London on  old Piccadilly Road..

"Today I speak to you not as a chicken, not as an egg layer, not even as a potential two-piece combo at Willie Mae's Scotch House  in New Orleans, but rather as simply a team member of Earth who has tried to make a positive impact," said chicken Sir Bradford Gronzyoof. "We got into EGAM Talk about it!!"

At an impromptu press conference in Rio, tears were held back several times by President Gronzyoof who grew up penny-less in a ramshackle farm in Chechnya and went on to lead the United Chicken Front in Glasgow,Scotland  before being elected World Chicken Organization President in 2010. "To say I am proud is like saying Senna could work a corner at the Nurburgring," Gronzyoof  joked, playing to the fervent pro-Aryton Senna crowd in Brazil

All the celebration was brought on by a simple lunch prepared Nancy Silverton. the 2014 James Beard Award winner for Outstanding Chef in America  

"Let's just stay home tomorrow and I'll make you an omelet," Silverton told Michael Krikorian early Wednesday evening. Krikorian, having had eggs made by Silverton in Panicale for several years running, knew what to say ."Sounds good."

Moments after the church bells of the old hilltop town rang once. Silverton began making the historic EGAM -bound omelet.

The three eggs were assisted by prosciutto cotto, parmigiano reggiano. sheep's milk ricotta,  mint and thyme - two varietals - from Nancy's garden. slivers of Cannara red onion. fennel,  salt, pepper and a pebble of butter.

Was it the best three egg omelet in recorded history? I just said they got into EGAM .  

President Gronzyoof, a multi-billionaire, said that he would pay for the ticket of any chicken visiting the EGAM in London during the next 12 months. "it's on me! ducks, too."

Note; The actual omelet will not be on display at EGAM as they have been eaten. However, the photograph below will be there. positioned between the saxophone used by John Coltrane to play the solo on "My One and Only Love" and the spats Louis Armstrong used when he first stepped on the moon.

Final note ; We ate outside on a small porch. It was a glorious day. Neil Young was singing "Lotta Love". Two nights ago, at Pelicanos, our local pizzeria, Nicolette Larson was on the big screen singing the same song.  Here's Neil's live version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELakJxPiieU

"it's gonna take a lotta love, to change the way things are. It's gonna take a lotta love or we won't get too far."

Did the song make the eggs taste better? Yes