Critics Hail Dana's Bytes As "Restaurant of the Future", But Protesters Mar Grand Openng

Inside the gates of Lambert Ridge Winery in Healdsburg this weekend, the lucky 25 people who finagled their way to the grand opening of Dana's Bytes - the most anticipated new American restaurant of 2015 - were marveling at its delicious food, its conviviality and its innovative concept that does not employ servers, sommeliers, busers, or even dishwashers. 

Outside however, more than 200 servers, soms, busers and dishwashers were staging a loud - and at times even vitriolic protest - fearing the new restaurant of Boulevard's chef de cuisine Dana Younkin would so revolutionize the restaurant industry they would soon be standing not on the kitchen firing line, but rather in the unemployment line. 

As patrons filed in, dozens of dishwashers loudly chanted  "You've got a date with an unclean plate" and scores more servers yelled  "Dana's bytes will not delight"  Sonoma County Sheriff's were on hand to keep the peace, but six protesters were arrested on disorderly conduct and failure to disperse charges.

"They have wiped out the entire front of the house," said Alysabeth Alexander, vice president of politics for SEIU 1021, a service employees union local for San Francisco. "Maybe it's good thing. They will see how much service employees will be missed."

But, no one seemed to be missing the front of the house at Dana Bytes. In fact, the mood on the sloping yard inside the winery could not have been more celebratory. Fortunate diners simply approached chef Dana as she was cutting a prime rib of Thompson River Ranch beef, sliced off a gloriously marbled piece and - while still on the knife - handed it to the nearly salivating crowd

Diners, glasses of wine in hand, mingled about like they were at a terrific house party rather than a restaurant, stopping by the outdoor kitchen island where Younkin, assisted by Nancy Oakes and Nancy Silverton, handed out the superb beef as well as Maine lobster claws and lamb chops cut from a rack, all finished off in two wood burning ovens behind them.

Platters of morels, asparagus and "day-dug" potatoes were laid out on the kitchen island.

Nancy Silverton, who provided to mozzarella-based  appetizers for the opening,   said this is the way she's been eating for years.

"I love this way to eat. standing up in a kitchen or before a outdoor grill, giving out bites to friends," said Silverton. "I'm glad somebody is finally taking it to the public. I am going to open a similar place in the Green Meadows area of Los Angeles. "

With San Francisco's minimum wage set at $12.25 an hour and set to go $15 per hour on July 1,  2018, many restaurants analyze predicted more restaurant would be going to the Dana's Bytes format which has already come to be known as "Goin' Younkin"

"I think at my next restaurant I might be Goin' Younkin," said Dominique Crenn, of San Francisco revered Atelier Crenn. "I think at certain restaurants there will always be a need for the front of the house, But, at others, like at Dana's Bytes, they may not. We are constantly hearing about farm-to-table. Why not from the chef's hand-to-the-diner's mouth?"

Jessica Sweedler, chief development officer of Meals on Wheels of San Francisco who was at the opening of Dana's Bytes, said she was considering ways to implement the Goin' Younkin format into the organizations fight against the neglect and malnutrition of seniors.

"I can envision chefs all over town knocking on doors and handing delicious - and nutritional  - bites to our seniors," said Sweedler as she stuffed morels and peas into her mouth. "Who needs dirty dishes?"

Technically Dana's Bytes did employee one front of the house worker, Richard Crocker, chief of staff at Boulevard where he oversees 500 employees. Crocker was seen running about, picking up wine glass, refiling them, piling up dirty plates and rushing them off to a small cleaning station inside  the winery.  By the end of the evening, the haggard-looking Crocker was seated off alone in the now-empty yard drinking a Negroni,   "I'd tell someone to get me another drink," Crocker said, "But, there's not a god damn server in sight." 

server amy woho mae mor than 450000 a year sare epxected to ak et the new minume wages. 

Are There Other Amtrak Conductors Who Are Gay? Congress To Launch Probe

I have never given a great deal of thought to whether a train conductor could possibly be gay. Or not, for that matter.

But, after learning that the conductor on the Ferrari-wannabe Amtrak train that crashed this week near Philadelphia appears to be a homosexual,  it certainly makes one wonder: Are there other gay train conductors?  Or is Brandon Bostian, who apparently supports gay marriage, the only one?

.Well, thanks to Indiana governor Mike Pence, we will soon find out. Reacting with the speed and leadership desperately needed in these trying times, Pence has initiated an emergency bill in Congress to determine the sexual orientation of all Amtrak train conductors operating in the United States. 

(The bill, which already passed the Senate last night during midnight session and is expected to pass today in the House. also marks the first time a governor has been allowed to introduce a bill in both houses of congress.)   

Pence addressed a pro decency gathering held this morning in Gary, Indiana.

"We need to know what the train, the train. what's is it? A driver? It's not a pilot, I know that.  Whatever it is, Oh, wait, It's a conductor. We need to know what the train conductor is thinking about when he goes into a tight, dark corner," said Pence as he stood in front of a Gary liquor store where two people were shot and killed two nights ago.

But, is a study about train conductors enough?  There are some jobs you just don't figure gays would be good at, or even want. But, could they be employed at these jobs secretly?

Take, for example, coal miners. 

One would think coal miners are all  hetros. But, when you really give it some thought, the gig of a coal miner would be a good place to be a homo. You're with a bunch of guys. Most of them in good relatively shape. It's dark. There's that hard hat everyone has that seems like it could be used for all sorts of gay activity. 

Will Pence, or maybe Ted Cruz or Jeb Bush introduce a bill to study the secret desires of coal miners?  Or Astronauts. Hey, is gay marriage even legal on Mars?. Or Saturn?  Or Neptune? Everyone knows what's up in Uranus.

Man, to quote Tony Montana, "What the fuck difference does it make?"

.. . 

Thuglandia - Los Angeles Magazine Article on the State of L. A. Gangs

As a journalist who has covered the street gangs of Los Angeles off and on for the past 17 years, I have often stated, with perverse pride, “L.A. has the best street gangs in the United States,” the way someone might boast about Yosemite’s waterfalls. Big and gaudy and violent, they’ve been rapped about and emulated the world over. But lately if you don’t live in a gang-infested neighborhood, you’d be forgiven for thinking that thugs are forsaking the thug life. Annual city homicide totals are down dramatically from the early 1990s, when there were more than 1,000 killings (nearly half of them gang related), to fewer than 300 in 2012.

But don’t be mistaken. The gangs are still here causing nightly heartbreak. They just aren’t as flagrant as they once were. Among the reasons: the huge drop in crack use, intense gang intervention efforts by former gang members, and police strategies that include upping their presence (along with surveillance cameras) in the Watts projects and bettering their relations with community leaders. There’s also the sheer number of dead and imprisoned gang members to consider as well as the exodus of thousands of others to “expansion cities.”

Those aren’t the only theories. “I think it’s more about business,” says Los Angeles Police Department sergeant Richard Lozano, who works in the Rampart gang unit that oversees the area around MacArthur Park. “The violence brings too much attention from us, and that ruins the potential for making money.” In the park itself several gang factions manage to sell their drugs without killing one another. You’ve got the Columbia Lil Cycos, the most notorious clique of the 18th Street Gang, in the northeast quadrant. Almost half the park is held by two large factions of Mara Salvatrucha, aka MS13. Another large chunk belongs to the Crazy Riders, and several other gangs exist in the surrounding area. This year’s death toll so far? Zero. 

Miles south of MacArthur Park, the quest for illicit financial gain has produced some strange partnerships. “It’s not unheard of anymore for some guy from Grape Street to team up with a Hoover [Street Criminal] to go rob someone or break into a house,” says LAPD detective Chris Barling, head of homicide at the 77th Street Division. Acting on street intelligence that no one will be at a residence, members from two or three gangs clean the place out—what they call “flocking.” Or they might get together for a little “OTM,” as in Outta Town Money: Someone has connections in, say, Phoenix, and L.A. gangsters go there to burglarize houses with the local as their guide. 

Gangs aren’t just less openly hostile to one another, though. They’re less specialized than they used to be, too. In the 1980s, the Rollin 60s and Rollin 90s were infamous for brazen bank robberies. Inglewood Family Bloods did “smash and grabs” at jewelry stores. The Bounty Hunters, operating out of Nickerson Gardens, robbed motorists along Imperial Highway on an hourly basis. In Boyle Heights, Big Hazard from Ramona Gardens earned a reputation for their convenient “drive-ins,” where customers copped drugs without leaving their cars. Home invasions? They were a trademark of Asian gangs. But these days “there’s no secrets in the gang world,” says Cleamon “Big Evil” Johnson, who led the 89 Family Bloods and won an appeal in 2011 after spending 14 years on death row and is now in county jail awaiting retrial. “When other gangs heard that someone was doing good with a crime, they’d be on it, too.”

That said, no gang can do credit card or medical fraud like Armenian Power (I’d recommend paying cash at a 99 Cents-Only store). The Avenues have a notorious specialty as well: The region’s preeminent gangster racists, they’re known for trying to rid Highland Park of blacks through intimidation and murder. 

But no matter how heinous the Avenues’ crimes, for sheer violence Highland Park can’t compare to the LAPD’s Southeast Division, which encompasses Green Meadows and Watts, among other neighborhoods. During the first four months of this year, there were 16 killings in 11 of the LAPD’s 21 divisions. In Southeast there were 17. In fact, the last gang-related funeral I went to, back in February, was for a guy from Southeast, and I can tell you nobody at the church that day was celebrating that gang deaths are down.

One Park, Three Worlds

Macarthur park is too big, crowded, and profitable for a single street gang to control. So for many years a détente of sorts has existed that allows three or four gangs to run the drug trade—nowadays mostly meth—in a park that in the 1990s saw several killings a year.

Northwest Corner
The Wanderers had a presence in the northwest portion of the park, but this less-trafficked area has been taken over in recent years by cliques of the Mara Salvatrucha, aka MS13.

Southwest Corner
Running the quadrant at 7th and Park View streets, the MacArthur Park Locos and the Rampart Locos are factions of MS13, the gang whose members are as well known—and feared—for their face-covering tattoos as for their violence.

Northeast Corner
The busiest section of the park, by 6th and Alvarado streets, has long been the bastion of the Columbia Lil Cycos, a clique of the 18th Street Gang. Though 18th Street is considered L.A.’s largest gang, with as many as 15,000 members, it’s actually an amalgam of 20 cliques. 

Southeast Corner
The Crazy Riders, a mix of mainly Mexicans and Central Americans but also some blacks and whites, control the park’s southeast section. Far smaller than MS13, they began as a group of guys who played American football in the park.

Seven Dining Highlights In Chicago, Spring 2015, James Beard Weekend

Twenty minutes before our dinner reservations at Next, we made a stop at Publican to eat. That's how it was gonna be in Chicago, the weekend for the 2015 James Beard Awards, the first ever held in the "City with Big Shoulders". (Check out the Carl Sandburg poem "Chicago" below.) 

Here are the dining highlights of that three-night trip last weekend with Nancy Silverton, chef Dahlia Narvaez, chef Chris Feldmeier, chef Liz "Go Go" Hong and Chicago legend chef Matt Kim.

1. Tournedos Rossini  at  Next -  The theme for Next, Grant Achatz's sometimes futuristic/sometimes throwback brilliant restaurant on West Fulton Market, was Paris Bistro. When I saw this Careme or Escoffier ( debatable, still) classic tribute to the composer on the enticing menu  I told the server "bring whatever you think, but just make sure one of the plates is Tournedos Rossini."  The kitchen, led by executive chef Dave Beran and chef de cuisine Jenner Tomaska came on strong with about half of the menu. But, the peak was the Rossini, the heart of the filet of beef on buttered toast, topped with foie gras and black truffles bathed in a  veal stock, butter, truffle, foie gras and Madeira sauce as dark as the Southside and as rich as the Gold Coast.

The dish was described by Jeff Gordinier in a 2012 New York Times article "A Pool of Memories", as "...if you want a phrase that summons all the voluptuous pleasure of haute cuisine in its heyday, “tournedos Rossini” does the trick." 

It did the trick at Next.  Liz "Go Go" Hong kept repeating "The steak. The steak. The steak" like she was a,gourmet Col. Kurtz.         The current menu is Tapas.   https://www.nextrestaurant.com/website/faq       

2. Stuffed Parpardelle  at - Nico Osteria -  When our lunch crew saw this on the menu at Nico Osteria, Feldmeier said "How the fuck do you stuff a parpardelle?" (Or maybe I said that.)  I'm still not sure. Maybe with a razor blade, like the way Paulie sliced the garlic in "Good Fellas". How ever chef de cusine Erling Wu-Bower did it at this Rush Street newcomer, he did it right. Stuffed with milk-braised pork, it was pasta dish of the trip, and a contender for the prestigious POTS** award,. 

Nico Osteria is from the team of executive chef Paul Kahan and Donnie Madia, who won the James Beard Award for Outstanding Restaurateur  in the United States this year.    http://www.nicoosteria.com/

3. Sopa Azteca at Frontera Grill -  Where do you take Dario Cecchini, the world's most famous butcher, to dinner in Chicago? To a Mexican restaurant, Nancy figured. So it was Frontera Grill,the less cutting edge of Rick Bayless' two adjoining homages to the food south of the border. The other is Topolobampo.

There was much to enjoy (Nancy ate nearly a half  liter of guacamole (with chips) at the bar before Dario and his storied wife Kimberly arrived), but these little sopa stood out. They were tortilla cups with pasilla broth, chicken, avocado, some local cheese and crema.      http://www.rickbayless.com/restaurants/frontera-grill/

4. Gerry's Adobo Dog at Publican Quality Meats - GerryRuiz is one of the butcher's at Publican Quality Meats  - and nephew of George "I'll Stuff My Chorizo in Your Dates" Ruiz -  and he makes a mean "Latinized" version of the classic Chicago hot dog. It's adobo sausage, chimichurri, avocado, cilantro pickled cucumber, onion and mojo rojo on a lobster roll.

Chef de cuzine Missy Corey had previously rejected Gerry's idea of a Gerry's adobo soda pop, a Gerry's adobo gelato, a Gerry's adobo Wellington and a Gerry's rack of adobo before admitting he was finally on to something with the adobo dog     http://publicanqualitymeats.com/

5, Assorted fett' unta at Nico Osteria. - These, thick-sliced, olive-oiled brushed bread, one topped with baccala, dungeness crab and celery another with brussels sprouts and some cheese, were resistible, but barely.  

6.  Garrett caramel popcorn tin  in the hotel room  -  This was in a goodie bag Nancy got from the James Beard people and was devoured late at night in our hotel room. Say what? Oh, what hotel did we stay at?  The Waldorf Astoria.  (Always wanted to say that, even if this one ain't on Park Avenue.)     http://www.garrettpopcorn.com/

7. Fritos,   Original  - I flew , damn, I really am blanking on the. oh , yeah Frontier Airlines. Don't. Two night flights provided no food or drink except some room temp water.  So the 50 cent bag of Fritos I had in my computer case were relished like they were, like they were tournedos Rossini. Well, not quite.    http://www.fritolay.com/snacks/product-page/fritos/

What? I can't hear you. Speak up, G. Oh, what hotel did we stay at? The Waldorf.

** POTS - Pasta of the Spring

Parpardelle stuffed with pork. What a gig. A parpardelle stuffer

Tournedos rossini

Chicago

BY CARL SANDBURG

Hog Butcher for the World,

   Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,

   Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler;

   Stormy, husky, brawling,

   City of the Big Shoulders:

They tell me you are wicked and I believe them, for I have seen your painted women under the gas lamps luring the farm boys.

And they tell me you are crooked and I answer: Yes, it is true I have seen the gunman kill and go free to kill again.

And they tell me you are brutal and my reply is: On the faces of women and children I have seen the marks of wanton hunger.

And having answered so I turn once more to those who sneer at this my city, and I give them back the sneer and say to them:

Come and show me another city with lifted head singing so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning.

Flinging magnetic curses amid the toil of piling job on job, here is a tall bold slugger set vivid against the little soft cities;

Fierce as a dog with tongue lapping for action, cunning as a savage pitted against the wilderness,

   Bareheaded,

   Shoveling,

   Wrecking,

   Planning,

   Building, breaking, rebuilding,

Under the smoke, dust all over his mouth, laughing with white teeth,

Under the terrible burden of destiny laughing as a young man laughs,

Laughing even as an ignorant fighter laughs who has never lost a battle,

Bragging and laughing that under his wrist is the pulse, and under his ribs the heart of the people,

                   Laughing!

Laughing the stormy, husky, brawling laughter of Youth, half-naked, sweating, proud to be Hog Butcher, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat, Player with Railroads and Freight Handler to the Nation.

Michael Singer's Back Operation To Remove Crankiness Hailed As "Medical Miracle"

When New York City doctors announced last summer they were going to attempt remove a 25-pound lump of pure crankiness from Michael Singer's back, fellow surgeons around the world were united in their skepticism, many calling it a blatant publicity stunt.

"This is absurd," said Dr. Erich Manstein, of Germany's prestigious Back Off Medical Centre in Dusseldorf. "Everyone knows Singer's crankiness is permanently embedded in his bones. What are those so-called surgeons in New Quack City going to do? Remove his skeleton?"

So, when Singer's wife, the lovely Ruth "The Polar Opposite of Cranky" Reichl,  announced to the world Friday morning that the operation performed at the Hospital for Special Surgery on East 70th Street in Manhattan had been a wonderful success, those very surgeons were scratching their noggins, calling it a "medical miracle"  and lining up their own patients to perform what has quickly become known as a "Singer Crank Out" operation.

Authorities first became aware of Singer's ACD, (aggressive crankiness disorder) when he was a student at University High School on Oakland Avenue in St .Louis during the Eisenhower Administration. Midway through a class on the Second Punic War, the history teacher, Mr. Barca,  caught young Singer dozing and tapped him with a ruler. Singer awoke and - according to University High School archives - bellowed the following "Why the hell shouldn't I fall asleep? You're teaching us stuff we already know.  Do you actually think all of us don't already know that Hannibal took some elephants over the Alps? Everyone on Earth knows that. Even drunk men in small Armenian villages know that Hannibal took some fuckin elephants over the goddamn Alps."

(The teacher alerted the authorities at that point and Singer was transferred to the Webb School) 

Still, Singer's ACD continued to grow. As a news producer at CBS, he became notorious for criticizing "feel good" stories. . He infamously refused to air the "Miracle on Ice" - the storied ice hockey game in the 1980 Olympics when team USA scored a stunning victory over the Russian team - instead dismissing it as the "Slip on this, motherfucker" game.  

In the early 1990s, Singer became the only human ever to officially complain about the ending to "The Wizard of Oz", the John Coltrane solo on "But Not For Me" and the very notion of the Easter Bunny, all  within a 48-hour period.. 

So it was understandable the dubious thoughts of surgeons around the globe had when the staff at the Hospital for Special Surgery announced they would remove the crankiness. 

After Reichl released the news that the surgery was a success, his friends were quick to react with jubilation. 

"Great news" emailed Robin Green. "Fantastic!" said Susan Kamil. "Fabulous" replied Dinitia Smith. 

Still, one of Singer's closest friends reacted with the same touch of skepticism that Dr. Manstein had before the surgery 

"I  think this is terrific, but do you know if they got all of the cranky out?," said Henry Weinstein.  "I kinda hope not. .i mean Michael Singer without  any crankiness, well, that wouldn't really be Michael Singer. I just hope they left a few pound of cranky in them old bones."

At Long Last Love; Nancy's Fancy Goes On Sale Thursday At Gelson's

There are jackets, then there is the Marni runway coat. There's grape juice then, there is the  '47 Chateau Cheval Blanc. There are watches, then there is the Rolex Paul Newman Daytona. There are cars and there is the 1962 Ferrari GTO. These are the “zultra premium” options. 

Now, at long last, the world of frozen treats has a zultra premium option: “Nancy’ Fancy”, the gelato and sorbetto of Nancy Silverton and it will be available this Thursday, May 7th at Gelson's Markets throughout Los Angeles. Soon, markets throughout America will be offering Nancy's Fancy .

You may have noticed Nancy’s Fancy was defined simply as “the gelato and sorbetto of Nancy Silverton”.  Superlatives on Nancy could be used lavishly – and with truth.  But, like the '47 Cheval or the '62 GTO, time and coolness will soon prove that the mere mention of Nancy’s Fancy shall simply come to mean the best.

But, since Chef Silverton, co-founder of Pizzeria Mozza, Osteria Mozza and Chi Spacca, is not a “TV chef” and not a household name across America, let me boast about her. Check this out. Nancy Silverton is the only chef in the United States to win the James Beard Award for Outstanding Chef in American and the James Beard Award for Outstanding Pastry Chef in America. Like Muhammad Ali used to say, “It ain’t bragging if it’s true.”

When we asked 20 of the greatest chefs in America to give their comments on the prospects of having gelato and sorbetto made by Nancy readily available across America, every one of them replied with great anticipation, to put it calmly. Mario Batali responded in less than two minutes with a tantalizingly poetic preview for what gelato and sorbetto lovers across the land will soon be able to enjoy. World famous master chef Daniel Boulud poured on the praise. San Francisco’s Dominique Crenn, the only female chef in America with two Michelin stars, responded with a text so titillating only adults over the age of 35 should be allowed to read it.  Chris Bianco, the master pizzaiola from Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix, echoed Roy Scheider in the movie “Jaws” and announced “I’m gonna need a bigger spoon.”

Silverton and Dahlia Narvaez, herself  a James Beard Award winner in 2016 for best pastry chef in America, worked for months sourcing, mixing, freezing, tasting, tuning, tasting, refining and tasting ensued.  The glorious result is Nancy’s Fancy.

Scoop into the FLAVORS page of Nancy's Fancy site to see what frozen treats will be waiting for you in stores soon

1962 Frank Sinatra "At Long Last Love"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4GfV0pf_zQ

"At Long Last Love"
Is it an earthquake or simply a shock?
Is it the good turtle soup or merely the mock?
Is it a cocktail, this feeling of joy?
Or is what I feel the real McCoy?

Is it for all time or simply a lark?
Is it Granada I see or only Asbury Park?
Is it a fancy not worth thinking of?
Or is it at long last love?
 

The Glorious Return of My Favorite Lunch, Osteria Mozza Reopens and Staff Meal is On

After nine days of actually buying or preparing my own lunch, the thighs have returned to Hancock Park. 

At 12 40 p.m. Saturday, April 18, the driver of a 2011 Toyota Tundra  pickup, traveling southbound on Highland Avenue at - according to the LAPD - an unsafe speed,  swerved to avoid a 2013 Honda Civic whose driver was beginning to make - again, according to the LAPD - an unsafe left hand turn from northbound Highland onto westbound Melrose Avenue.  The truck, weighing in at about 5,000 pounds, crashed into the front doors of Osteria Mozza during staff lunch.

Alex Rivera Vasquez, 36, a Mozza prep cook. was hit by debris - a falling pillar -  knock to the floor where he laid - comforted by co-workers - until paramedics took him  to Cedars Sinai where he was checked out and released. He is fine.

But, the front of the restaurant was in shambles. Twenty, thirty minutes after the crash, a city inspector appeared out of nowhere and said the restaurant would be closed a month. In stepped Tom Penna of ITX Construction, project superintendent Wayne Neuenhaus and their crew.  Ten days later, today, Osteria Mozza reopened for dinner.

"I'm, opening up Osteria Mozza," said legendary server Ralph Waxman, as he and others waited for the first customers to arrive. "For the second time." 

Today, April 28, also marked the return of my favorite lunch in town. the staff meal, which, is often - some fools say too often - roasted chicken thighs. I had grabbed the thighs on crash day and stepped outside when the boom! happened.  This is a meal I am privileged to eat often, but today I savored it with a little extra appreciation and thankfulness because this crash could have been so much worse.

trucks are not welcome at osteria Mozza or any of the mozzas. .  note  the orange clogs off to the left.  when he was texted the above photo,  mario batali quickly texted back "anyone hurt?"

Surgery To Remove Bottle of Champagne Attached to Mike Hoagland's Body Called "Dismal Failure"

When two young doctors at the Mayo Clinic announced last week they were confident they could removed the bottle of champagne attached to Michael (Mike) Hoalgland's right rib cage, medical professionals from Napa to Reims were encouraged, yet skeptical.

Sunday morning, the skeptical side won out as the surgery proved to be what one hospital administrator called a "dismal failure."

"There were high hopes the bottle could be removed, but i think deep down most of us knew it was unlikely," said Douglas P. Zamensky, CFO* of the Mayo Clinic, generally thought to be the world's greatest hospital named after a sandwich spread. 

Hoagland, who once considered a career as  PGA golfer until he made up his mind to be an professional alcoholic, had for several years denied rumors the champagne bottle was actually attached to his body. In an effort to dissuade those rumors, Hoagland, a former server at Osteria Mozza, would changed the labels on the stuck-to-his-ribs bottle.

"I had heard the rumors, but then I'd see Mike with a Krug Grand Cuvee bottle, then a Dom Perignon Rose, then a Pol Roger Winston Churchill and I figured it couldn't be the same bottle." said Pilar Arias, the storied three Michelin-starred server formerly of Pizzeria Mozza.  "But, the way he would poured the bottle was weird.  Always with that crazy handstand, It was impressive at first. Then cute, But, after a while it was like 'Just pour that motherfucker.' Now, I know why. i hope MIke will be all right."

L.A. Times Op-Ed on the 100th Anniversary of the Armenian Genocide, "They Tried. We Survived."

Remembrance Day: The Turks tried. The Armenians survived.

On Friday, thousands of Armenians, my people, my comrades — em ynker — will march to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the first recorded genocide of the 20th century. Thousands of us will demand recognition from the leaders of the Turkish government, an admission from them that their Ottoman Empire forefathers carried out atrocities, that it was a genocide: “acts committed with the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group.”

I say “us” with a renewed personal sadness. Just last year my cousin discovered our fathers — Zaven, a.k.a. Sam, and Antranig, a.k.a. Tony — had a brother, Azad, who died between 1915 and 1921 near Van, in eastern Turkey.

Will I be in the proud and crazy crowd Friday? Yes, but I won't be making any demands. I don't demand things anymore that I don't think will happen.

I respect the fiery youths who will make the loudest noise, who will wave the red, blue and orange national flag from their black AMGs and silver M5s, who will chant for justice and carry signs and banners. I am proud of them. I admire them. I used to be them (to a fanatical point — I condoned violence), but it's just not me anymore. I think we should focus the march equally on how far my small-in-numbers people have come from the horror we endured.

 The Turks know the genocide happened. The pope knows it happened. President Obama knows it, even though he won't say it today. I mean, come on. There's DNA evidence to support a 5th century historian's claim that Armenia dates to 2492 BC. So on one fine spring day in 1915, did all the so-called Western Armenians suddenly decide it would be a good idea to just pick up and move to Beirut and Fresno and Watertown, Mass., and Aleppo, Syria? (Boy, we sure know how to pick 'em.)

Besides, who would claim to be a victim of a genocide that didn't happen? Who wants to be a genocide survivor? Even on our strange planet, that makes less-than-zero sense. Who is going to insist for 50 years that history be corrected (we were still too shellshocked to start the demonstrations before 1960), if they don't know that history in their bones? Who is going to keep saying, “Hey world, what about us? The Turks tried to exterminate us”?

And to me that's the thing. They tried; we survived. Today, I honor the dead from the early massacres in the 1890s and the death marches, from the deportations and the killings from 1915 to 1923. But I also honor the Armenians alive today.

I'm not going to cite the usual lineup of famous Armenians (but did you know Steve Jobs' adoptive mother, Clara Hagopian Jobs, was Armenian?). Instead, I have a personal honor role of great Armenians — the children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews, cousins and in-laws one or two or three generations removed from the ones who got away and the ones who didn't. The proof that my people live.

There are Vic and Greg Yedikian, my mechanics in Gardena. There's my preferred public defender, Alexandra “A.K.” Kazarian, and Krikor Tcholakian, the owner of Carousel restaurant in East Hollywood. There's David Arzouman, my favorite local artist; Harry Kasbarian, an advocate for Armenian causes (who also sells tires in Glendale); Lisa and Sevan Nahabedian, whose cleaners I go to in Larchmont. And there's my favorite Armenian priest, Father Mesrop Ash of St. John Armenian Apostolic Church in San Francisco, who just happens to be my nephew. All told, they are the makings of a small-town Main Street, from a people ordered annihilated.

Not long ago, I was driving east on Los Feliz Boulevard when I spotted a man standing in front of a SUV holding out jumper cables for passing motorists to see and get the desperate hint. I stopped and gave him a jump. After his car was running, and I disconnected the cables, he shook my hand and thanked me. I said, “I'm Armenian.” I just wanted to let him know we're still here.

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-krikorian-armenian-genocide-anniversary-20150424-story.html