CHEF HIRO SONE SHATTERS NAPA SPEEDING RECORDS IN WILD DRIVE TO SAVE LISSA AND BIBI FROM GLASS FIRE

Hiro Sone had a transformation for the ages Monday.  From someone who makes a living emulating Joel Robuchon in his own Michelin-starred kitchen, someone who derives soulful satisfaction emulating Eric Clapton on a Stratocaster at his St. Helena home, Sone, with a whoosh, transformed himself into Juan Manuel Fangio, the greatest race car driver who ever speed the Earth.

Told - and blocked - by several law enforcement agencies he could not return to St. Helena from Calistoga where he had gone to gas up his essential generator, Sone argued, pled and came close to out-and-out begging, all to no avail. Then Hiro made the transformation to Fangio.

Why go from chef/guitar player to “El Maestro”, the alias of Fangio, the mythical five-time World Champion Formula One driver from Argentina known for a determination and will unrivaled on the road? Why? . Because the love of Hiro’s life, Lissa Doumani, was stranded at their home in St Helena surrounded by the Glass Fire and he had to get back to save her.

At the fire-surrounded home, too, was Bibi, their new dog that had lifted the couple’s spirits after the sudden gut-wrenching death of the beloved Koko. (For the record, a local “dog whisperer “ who viewed a video of Bibi staring quizzically at Lissa during this madness claimed the dog was asking Lissa “And just where the fuck did Sushi boy run off to? Please don’t tell me to get more guitar picks.”

Hiro was only 20, 25 minutes away, in normal times. He had left Lissa and that blabbermouth Bibi only after a lull in the Glass Mountain Road Fire which had torched much of their land, including the  family shed where Lissa would occasionally make Hiro sleep when he was bad.

Their home itself had been spared so far, thanks largely to a 25-foot fire break that Cal Fire had helped clear. .This is from a Washington Post report quoting Lissa - The entire back of our property was on fire,  we are on a small hill that is flat land behind it the big mountains to Angwin and Pope Valley. We are pretty good at knocking down the weeds around the house,  about 20' deep. This help but the cal fire guys set back fires to stop the move forward. It's a great idea but scary to watch. We had about 8 guys at our place.  For the rest of the day and into the night it was fighting the fires as they come up. This kind of fire burns the bottom of the trees and that causes the trees to fall and create more fuel for the fire.

Late last night the Cal Fire guys felt we were good and Jared also so he went back to get Katherine. Hiro was on patrol. Still putting out flare-ups as they happened. Sometime before midnight there was a tree that was really worrying Hiro so he called Cal Fire and they came back and worked the tree fire a bit but basically said he just had to let it burn its self out.

At a lull, Hiro took a opportunity to rush to Calistoga to get fuel for the generator. Told he could not take the short drive south back to his home, Hiro went Fangio. driving a Porsche 917, he head toward Petaluma like a bat out of Mar-A-Lago.

He gunned the 917, the same Porsche featured in the 1971 Steve McQueen film “Le Mans”, made a turn Gale Sayers woulda admired and headed toward, or all places, Petaluma. For New Yorkers, this is the equivalent of going from the Plaza Hotel to the Empire State Building, by way of the South Bronx.

The speed limit meant as much to Hiro as federal tax laws meant to that punkass in the White House. Bystanders, even firefighters stopped and stared. The 917’s Pirellis screamed. The engine sang Wagner. Petaluma came and went as Hiro headed for Napa.

In Napa, he ricocheted north like he was late for a reservation at Fredy Girardet. Vineyards, some on fire, whizzed by his view as his home was getting reeled in.

Meanwhile at the home, Bibi looked at Lissa and shook his head. That dog whisper, mentioned above, reportedly said the dog was saying a version of “You married him, not me.”

Seconds later, the Bibi’s ears went on alert. The howl of the Porsche 917 was piercing the smoke-filled air. Then, dramatically reducing his speed, Hiro pulled into the driveway like he had just finished a typical Sunday drive. He rushed to Lissa and all was lovely. A scary day and night, but happy ending.

(EDITOR’S NOTE - The dog is named “Bibi” which is Lebanese for ‘love’. When a reporter late Tuesday afternoon asked if the dog was named after the nickname of the punkass Israeli prime minister, Bibi went on attack mode. The reporter is listed in critical, but stupid condition at Silver Oak Hospital.)

EDUCATION SECRETARY DEVOS BOTCHES SCHOOL QUESTIONS BUT TAKES CREDIT FOR CHEF TRACHT'S IMPROVED CONDITION

In a bewildering nationally televised interview, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos fumbled badly on questions regarding the reopening of public schools and somehow managed to make matters worse by bizarrely saying the Trump Administration should be credited for the vastly improved condition of a hospitalized Los Angeles chef.

Devos, speaking on CNN, said schools “need a plan”, while offering none, but then switched directions like Gale Sayers in the open field when she went off on a tangent about Suzanne Tracht, the chef/owner of Jar Restaurant on Beverly Boulevard in Los Angeles.

Tracht who has been at Cedars Sinai Medical Center for 12 days showed marked improvement over a mysterious illness that was originally thought to be Covid-19, but - after five negative tests - left doctors scratching their heads as to wait was the actually medical problem. Tracht suffered from some of Covid’s classic symptoms such as high fever, body aches. weakness and most disturbingly a near shutdown of her breathing system.

This weekend her condition improved dramatically, so much so that her daughter, writer Ida Trevino, actually got her an Egg McMuffin. This seemed to inspired DeVos, considered among the stupidest education secretaries of the modern age.

“I’m not sure about how the schools will reopen, but I am sure Chef Suzanne is doing better,” DeVos told CNN’s Dana Bush who couldn’t have looked more perplexed if an aardvark showed up and asked her to dance. DeVos went on to say, “Thanks to President Trump it looks like pot roast will be available sooner, rather than later.”

Tracht’s press secretary Michele Huckabee Rivera. who has been at her side throughout the ordeal, said she was not surprised by DeVos statements because “she is a stupid idiot. Damn. that lady is dumb.”

Doctors at Cedars were very encouraged by Tracht’s progress.

“When she first came in here, she couldn’t cuss at all,” said Dr.. Julius Irving, a lung and dunk specialist. “But, this morning Suzanne said “DeVos is a dumb fuck” six times. That’s terrific. If she can maintain that tomorrow, and maybe add a “stupid shit” or two, we will release her.”

UPDATE - Tracht followed Dr, Irving orders and was released Monday at 3:27 p.m..

MICHELLE HUCKABEE RIVERA PRAISED FOR "SUE'S NEWS", PRESS RELEASES ON CHEF SUZANNE TRACHT'S CONDITION

When Suzanne Tracht fell ill recently and rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, family, friends, colleagues and fans around the nation were thrust into a quandary.

How would the countless admirers of Tracht, the chef/owner of Jar restaurant in Los Angeles, stay informed about her condition? Fortunately, Tracht, as sick as she was, knew this as well. And she had the solution.

She hired back her former press secretary – and rumored lover – Michele Huckabee Rivera to oversee the information released to the not only the media, but those very people who were worried sick that Suzanne was sick.

(Tracht has been at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center for the past nine days with a mysterious illness that had classic Covid-19 symptoms including fever, back ache, extreme difficulty breathing, but she tested negative of the virus five times. Doctors are still not sure what the problem is and it still might be Covid despite the negative tests. The good news is the last two days she has been improving.)

Rivera began by announcing over a week ago she wouldn’t be able to handle all the calls and message requests for Suzanne’s condition individually, but set up a group system which became known as “Sue’s News”.

Sue’s News soon went viral.  By Thursday afternoon, more than 100 million people worldwide were following Huckabee Rivera’s updates.

“Michele has been a savior for me,” said Tracht, whose complex diagnosis was interpreted by Michele in words understandable to most, although both Nancy Silverton and Michael Krikorian had some issues with the briefings.

For example, several times they asked each other  “What that hell does she mean by that?” and “Why is she on ‘anti-fungal meds?  Is she allergic to porcini or morels?”

Chris Baron, Tracht’s financial advisor, said Huckabee Rivera was doing “a nice job in a difficult situation. But, what I want to know is who is taking care of her dogs. Please don’t tell my wife Teri i said that. I don’t want to give her any ideas.”

Still, Michele Huckabee Rivera has been tremendous on all fronts, both in encouraging and loving Suzanne and informing the public.

“I don’t know what I would have done without her,” Suzanne said.

Neither would have we.

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TRUMP ORDERS MICHAEL SINGER STATUE REMOVED FROM ST. LOUIS PROMENADE, BUT PROTESTERS BLOCK NATIONAL GUARD

When President Donald J. Trump ordered a statue of a revered American journalist best known as a fighter for the downtrodden to be removed from the promenade of St. Louis’ Gateway Arch, authorities thought it would be a simple “Tank and Yank ”, the term the National Guard uses for wrapping a thick iron chain around a monument, attaching it to a M-1 Abrams tank and yanking it down.

But, it sure didn’t go smoothly Tuesday in St. Louis as thousands of protesters, many from organizations including Journalists Matter, gathered near the statue of investigative reporter/producer Michael Singer and prevented the National Guard from removing it.

Pro-Singer demonstrators gathered in the early morning hours near the Missouri side of the Gateway Arch and surrounded the 17-foot tall Singer statue - known locally as Mike’s Perch - as the sun rose over the Mississippi River and the National Guard began assembling for the take down. With speakers blaring blues harmonica legends Little Walter and Sonny Boy Williamson II, the crowd began chanting slogans such as “Singer Singer We’re Gonna Cling here” and “So he’s a little cranky, he’s tougher than your tanky”.

The pro-Singer Statue crowd, estimated at 13,000 people, were vocal, but mainly peaceful. Many carried signs, including dozens which read “United for Singer”, “Mexican Farm Workers For Singer” “Black Panthers For Singer” and “Armenian Americans Usually For Singer”. One woman, being interviewed on CNN, carried a sign which read “If Ruth Reichl Knowingly Lives With Him, How Bad Could He Be?”

As the National Guard and Missouri State Police tried to force their way to the base of the Singer Statue, one young man stood in the tank’s way. It was Nick Singer, Michael Singer’s son.

“That young Singer went Tiananmen Square on those motherfuckers,” said Stan Musial, a local baseball player. “He went ‘Tank Man’ on those robots.” Musial was referring to the famous incident on June 5, 1989 when a lone young Chinese man stood face-to-tank on Chang’an Avenue in Beijing during student pro-democracy protests. (As an aside, Fox News reported that while the younger Singer was confronting the tank, a Russian made T-72, he received a text from a Monica Albu which read as follows - “How long r u gonna stand in front of stupid tank??? ‘Woman Under da Influence' starts at 6”)

Meanwhile as this was unfolding, Trump tweeted furiously about the failure to remove the statue and, according to White House sources, spent much of Tuesday in the Oval Office toilet. “Knowing that little creamer bitch, he probably was gassing all day,” said White House Director of Laundry, Debbie White.

Among the pro Singer marchers was Tammie Featherstone of Atlanta, Georgia who drove down to help prevent the tank and yank. “Singer is a good man who fights for those who need his voice,” said Featherstone, whose nephew Jimmy Atchison was shot to death by an Atlanta policeman in January, 2019. “My nephew was killed and a week later D’ettrick Griffin was killed. Singer spoke up for them, Tweeted for them long before it was the right thing to do. It’s still the right thing to do, of course, but Singer been doing it for his whole career. “

One man seemed perplexed about the whole situation.

“I mean i know the dude’s bool,” said Cleamon “Big Evil” Johnson in a phone interview from Men’s Central, using the Bloods word for “cool”,. “But the thing is why he even have a statue in the first place? The man ain’t dead. Statues are for the gone. The long gone. Singer alive and kicking. You feel me?”

Singer, who turned 80 today, could not be reached for comment. He is said to be in quarantine somewhere in the South Bronx.

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HELLO STRANGER, IT SEEMS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK AGAIN, OSTERIA MOZZA'S GREATEST NIGHT AS THE CORNER ROARS BACK

By Jimmy Dolan, Mozza Tribune Staff Writer

Hello Stranger, it seems so  good to see you back again. How long has it been?  Ooh, seems like a mighty long time.  

Those are the opening lyrics of one of the most enduring songs ever, Barbara Lewis’ 1963 monument to emotions, “Hello Stranger”.  And last night in Los Angeles, the tide of emotions broke deep as Osteria Mozza roared back to life with what was - not arguably, it just was - the greatest night ever on the Corner.

It was great because it had been so bad and the great redemption on Saturday made the triumphant return to being open and full of life all the sweeter.  As Knuckles Washington from Imperial Jordan Gardens in Watts says “The best thing about getting knocked down is getting up and having a magnificent redemption. 

The “knockdown” was not one, but several. The shuttering of a city, of a nation, really. Then, after two weeks of a food giveaway program, the entire Mozza Corner locked because of the greatest blow of all,  Nancy testing positive for Covid. Then Nancy going into San Quarantine with her trouble-searching boyfriend Michael Krikorian as they waited and prepared for Covid’s worst, which, thanks Zeus and ginger-infused hot water, never came. Then the powerful protests of the inhumane homicide of George Floyd swept through our city’s streets, and in its ugly wake, the trashing of our lovely neighbor MelroseMac and a dust up on the Corner itself by cockroach bitch ass punks.

So tension was thick before Osteria Mozza opened Saturday night. There was none of the usual banter, no wise cracks among the wait staff. It was all business.  The staff was lean.  But, they were elite. Five of them had been previously awarded the prestigious Employee of the Month. The Corner’s Director of Operations, Kate Greenberg, was the evening’s host. There were no somms, but Joe Bastianich, a wine guy from New York City, filled in. Even the kitchen crew, head by executive chef Liz Hong, was somber. The only thing her chef de cuisine Nicolas Rodriguez said at all to this reporter was “I finished ‘The Wire’ last night.”

The first hour of service was borderline awkward, it was that quiet. It took awhile to get used to not seeing people at the bars. But, as the night wore on, and the comfort level grew, the trepidation of being out in a public dining room dissipated and the place began to feel like, well, like Osteria Mozza.

Hello stranger, it seems so  good to see you back again.

Eddie and Coco were back at table 31. Sid and Joni were out in the patio. Nancy, with the joint’s most striking mask, strolled the room, stopping to greet old friends, to congratulate a college graduate, to enchant a young chef.

For the vast majority of diners, it was their first meal out in months. And the staff felt honored they had chosen Osteria to be their initial foray into a sit down restaurant. Walk by a table and you could feel the relief people had of being out and feeling good. The wine flowed and the conversations did, too.  So much so that people stayed longer at their tables than usual. So  much so that by 8:00 there were 30 people outside on the corner of Highland and Melrose waiting for their table. Thankfully, at Nancy’s urging and Joe the Somm’s pouring,  they all had a drink in their hand and were excited to be where they were.

If one table stood out it was 72, the hidden corner table nearest Highland and southside bar, where two Los Angeles fire fighters held court with their ladies.  They were having a ball. They were the reason people go into the restaurant busines, to have customers like that. . One of them LAFD battalion chief Richard Fields had even briefly went to the same high school as Nancy, Birmingham.

But, our host asked Krikorian if he could get them out of that table so some of the sidewalk crowd could take it. They had reveled for three and half hours, but they had the vibe of people who would get it. So Krikorian explained and they were delighted to give up their table and join Nancy and Michael at the bar for a couple more.  Alain Birnbaum, the Mozza GM, said today they were the coolest table of all time.  Patrick “Paddy” Daniel, the bartender, agreed.

So in the end, we saw some old friends and met some new ones that we will be able to one day say ‘Hello stranger, seems so good to see you back again.”

One of the servers last night was Elyssa Phillips who this reporter enjoy messing with. But she said something that I thought was beautiful. Elyssa said “Last year we were awarded a Michelin star. Tonight we showed the world what that really means.”

Damn, if I’m ending a story with a quote from Elyssa, I guess the world really has changed. Hopefully, in a positive way,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSa0EH0LiGk That’s a link to Barbara Lewis singing a live version Hello Stranger. Who wrote Hello Stranger? Barbara Lewis did.

L.A. TIMES OP-ED BY NANCY AND MICHAEL, "A VERY BUSY NIGHT ON THE CORNER"

THIS IS REPRINTED FROM THE JUNE 4TH ISSUE OF THE LOS ANGELES TIMES

About 9:30 Saturday night, we got a text saying MelroseMac was being looted, a hideous spillover from the demonstrations protesting the killing of George Floyd. Curfew was on, but out of what we thought was over caution, we decided one of us — Michael — should go check on “the Corner,” our name for Highland and Melrose, where three Mozza restaurants and a takeout prosper next to a computer store.

A nightmarish sight awaited. The thought-to-be impregnable metal gate at MelroseMac had been breached and inside was an eerily silent free-for-all. Next to it, Mozza 2Go and Chi Spacca had been thrashed — the entrance charred, the walls graffiti-smeared, the wine display ransacked, stacks of cookbooks burned, upended tables broken and hundreds of dishes shattered, along with four windows.

What made it sadder for us was that Chi Spacca had remained open after Mayor Garcetti ordered L.A. restaurants closed on March 16, and for two weeks, in what the in-house Mozza Tribune called “our finest hour,” it fed thousands with the Restaurant Workers Relief Program. Then Nancy tested positive and had to retreat (she barely got ill). To find Spacca beaten up Saturday made the hardship of the last three months hurt even more.

You can’t see a deadly virus and, until it’s captured by a cellphone camera, it’s difficult for much of the population to grasp day-to-day racism. But a smashed window, a building in flames and vandals dashing out a door with loot are mesmerizing sights, on television or in person.

This week, the virus that has killed, is killing, more than 100,000 Americans, and the sickening, maddening realities of never-ending racism are sharing — stunningly — equal billing with the theft of an IMac Pro and a case of barolo. The demonstrations are profound — and we praise them — but it is the upheaval in Los Angeles and across the country that has really kicked the media into high gear and, remarkably, relegated COVID-19 to the inside pages. (You remember the pandemic, right? That virus? We quarantined and wore face masks?)

So we watched, and Michael tried to thwart, the throngs targeting MelroseMac and stragglers going for the wine at Osteria Mozza. The looters mostly sprinted east on Melrose, computer boxes tucked in like a football, making the sidewalk turn at Highland and getting into waiting, almost always shiny, newish cars — one was a black AMG Mercedes — then peeling out. Police were nowhere to be found.

Twice, though, it looked like the cavalry had arrived. Around 11 p.m. and later at 11:30 or so, 10 LAPD cruisers approached, sirens on. “Police!”, the looters shouted, and scatted like bitch ass roaches. But the black-and-whites drove right by our mayhem, headed west. We understood. It wasn’t like saving Gaja or Giacosa reds was a priority for the police. They had bigger branzino to fry.

On Sunday, there was this MSNBC headline: “Chef who survived COVID-19 describes watching her restaurant looted, lit on fire on TV.” That was Nancy, but she would never have come up with such a “woe is me” headline. Compared to so many, we are lucky.

We took a walk on Monday and several passing motorists stopped to offer their “deepest sympathies.” Not necessary. Any sympathy you want to throw our way, toss it instead to those who need it more, to George Floyd’s family, for instance. Especially send it to his brother Terrence.

Actually, don’t send Terrence sympathy, give him respect and heed his words. Of all the comments about the destruction over the last week, none rang out to us as much as those Terrence offered at a memorial for his brother George. It was a Rodney King “Can we all get along” moment.

“I understand y’all are upset. I doubt y’all are half as upset as I am, so if I’m not over here blowing up stuff, if I’m not over here messing up my community, then what are y’all doing? What are y’all doing? Y’all doing nothing.”

That’s what we think too. How many of those creamers wrecking MelroseMac even knew the name of the man the protest was about?

On Saturday night, on Sunday and Monday, the looters got away with more than computers and bottles of wine. They took the spotlight off the essence of the protests. They blocked the point that black lives matter. But Tuesday night, at least in L.A., the balance shifted. The demonstrators showed us the true colors of America at its best, the marchers clarified our righteous outrage over what happened to George Floyd. We hope — they hope — this time it will finally make a difference.

If it does, then it will be worth the knockdown our beloved corner took one Saturday night in 2020. We will get back up. We can always find another case of barolo or barbaresco. Terrence Floyd can’t find another brother.

Nancy Silverton is the chef/owner of the Mozza restaurants. Michael Krikorian, a former Times reporter, covered Watts.





NANCY AND MICHAEL'S ETIQUETTE GUIDE TO WALKING IN LOS ANGELES DURING COVID

In 1975 on my first trip to New York City, I was walking at night down Broadway around 44th Street when I bumped into a big, muscular black guy about 40 years old, maybe 6’, 3”, 230. We both stopped and looked at each other for two seconds and - during that very long period of time - I thought to myself. “I am about to get my ass kicked.”

But, then he said something I never forgot and, to this day, honor. “Can’t you even say ‘excuse me?’’’

From that day on, I bump into you, I say “excuse me.” And I expect that of you. But, now, with Covid all over the place, the act of humans bumping into each other has vanished. Respect on the city’s sidewalks has undergone a transformation to a behavior that would’ve been considered beyond meek if deployed eight weeks ago.

Anyway, Nancy Silverton and Michael Krikorian have published the first ever Covid Etiquette Guide to Walking in Los Angeles. Here’s a preview

1. SOCIAL DISTANCING aka “TAILGATING” The figure most bandied about for “Social Distancing” is six feet. But, when walking toward each other in Los Angeles six feet is practically grinding. Five feet? Gimme a break. And four feet? Hell, might as well get a room. The proper social distance in walking in L.A. is 10 feet. Bare minimum. That’s cutting it. On our morning walk, Nancy and see some ”Eyes”  (see #2) at 100, we move to the street.

2. BUTTS or EYES - Coined by Nancy, this term is essential to walking in L.A.. “Butts of Eyes” is the first thing you should think and -if you are walking with someone - say out loud when you first see a human being on the same side of the sidewalk as you. If you can make out a “Butt,” that likely means they are walking in your same direction. But, if your see “Eyes”’ that means they are coming at you and pose a potential problem. Remember if you are given the choice, - not that you are - but Butts are preferable to Eyes.

3. MASKS - Wear them. If you are the only one on a block, then sure, it’s fine to pull it down. But, mainly out of courtesy, put it back on when you see some “Eyes” within, say, 50 feet. The best thing about wearing a mask is that glorious moment when you take it off and inhale fresh air. That first breath is one of the wonders of the world. We’ve been taking it pretty much for granted. It needs more recognition. I just looked it up and today, May 21, is, among other things, National Strawberries and Cream Day. May 26th is National Paper Airplane Day. Breathing should have a year. A decade. Breathing should have it’s own century.

4. THE RIGHT OF WAY - The most crucial element of Walking in L.A. Etiquette is the Right of Way. This is the who “gets’ to stay on the sidewalk when those “Eyes” are coming at you and who detours to the street. Families of three or more, they stay on the sidewalk. Old people, they get to stay. Anyone with a baby stroller, they can remain on the sidewalk. Even people walking a dog. The truth be told, Nancy and I have not only grown accustomed to seeing people walking toward us and making the left slant to the street, but we like it. It adds some zig-zag, a touch of Gale Sayers to the walk. And as far as distance, we don’t play around. This is not a game of chicken like in “Rebel Without A Cause” when James Dean drives his Mercury ‘49 at an oncoming car and the first one to veer off is the “chicken”. Like I said above, we cut over when oncoming traffic is within 100 feet. Sometimes even 200. Also, be extra caareful on “Blind Corners”, where you can’t see who, if anybody, is coming around you. Be extra prepared to Gale Sayers at this potentially precarious moment.

5. TRAFFIC LIGHTS - Respect them on big streets, but, on smaller streets - such as on our walk, Arden and Rosewood, you can disregard them. When we come to a red traffic light. we make a cursory look for automobiles. but since there are so few these days, we ignore the red lights. No cop in Los Angeles is giving out jaywalking tickets these days.

6. MEANDERING - Outlawed Move it. Don’t just wander around like that blonde with the dog a couple days ago. You know who you were, lady. With your lazy dog who was laying down on the sidewalk and barking orders to you. Didn’t even have a mask on or around your neck. Idiot.

7. RUNNERS - Stay in the street. Wear a mask, it will improve your running. Do not even think about coughing. (See #8)

8. COUGHING - Hey, public coughers. Go home. No one wants to be around you. No one wanted to be around you last year, either.

9. COURTESY - If some moves out to the street before you do, say “Thank you”. That’s all you gotta say. And if you’re too tired to say that, then just say “Thanks”. If you do the moving to the street and someone says “Thank you” to you - they probably won’t - but if they do, say something like “Your welcome”.

And when that wonderful day returns when you bump into someone on the sidewalk, remember what that guy said to me on Broadway 45 years ago. I am so looking forward to saying “excuse me”.

ARCHITECT OSVALDO MAIOZZI WILL NOT “REST IN PEACE”, PLANS ON MAJOR RENOVATION OF HEAVEN'S MAIN ENTRANCE

When beloved Los Angeles restaurant architect Osvaldo Maiozzi died this week dozens of touching tributes and condolences were posted on the internet, many of them urging the passionate, warmhearted and, at times, fiery Italian to “RIP”, that sincere send-off which we know means “Rest In Peace”.

These people writing “RIP” were doubtless saddened by the news of man who designed Angelini Osteria, Republique, Otium and many other L.A. restaurants and they may have been at a loss of what to type on a Facebook post. Regardless, their suggestion for Maiozzi to more or less “Chill out” and “lay down and slumber away” will likely not be followed. Osvaldo Maiozzi has no intention to Rest in Peace.

In an exclusive interview with Krikorian Writes, Osvaldo Maiozzi said resting in peace would be next to impossible in such a grand space as Heaven

“Tell all those nice people I said ‘grazie mille’, but the thought of resting in peace up here is not an option,” said Maiozzi, 68, who spoke with this reporter via the new 250 Testa Rosa Zeus-12 intergalactic phone. “Don’t get me wrong. it’s bellissimo up here. And spotless. But, i just think we can spice it up a bit and still retain its original integrity and soul. Kind of like what i did over at Republique.”

Maiozzi, who graduated from the University of Rome in 1981, said he hopes to start drawing up plans for a new entrance to Heaven as soon as he finishes celebrating with his many family and friends already up there. “This is the grandest of all spaces, but i do think it’s time to redo the entrance. Look, the soft, swirling clouds is a nice touch, but so many of us have seen versions of it already in the movies. You know, with Claude and James up there.” (Osvaldo was referring to Claude Raines in “Here Comes Mister Jordan” and James Mason in the “Heaven Can Wait’ remake, two angels near the gateway to Heaven.")

“I’m thinking of keeping some clouds, but maybe have some arches, a touch of granite maybe some rough-hewn pillars, and further on in, an open kitchen. I don’t know yet. Maybe get Giotto to do a fresco or three.“

Osvaldo said in addition to some structural changes, he would push for some different music at the entrance. “Look, I like Gabriel paying the trumpet as much as the next paisano. But, maybe change it up.. Get Dizzy and Louis playing the horn up here. Get Miles Davis on the weekends. Do they even have weekends up here?”

Osvaldo admitted it would be a tough go to get some changes up there, but was confidant he would prevail.

“Do you know what the love of my life Pam used to call me?,’ he asked, referring to Pam Leonte, his wife and love, his own “Jersey Girl”, ”Pam would call me her ‘Italiban’ The first part was for my heritage, my passion, my love of her and of life, and the later part was because I could be unrelenting and stubborn and kinda crazy.”

The Italiban had plans for the future.

“Imagine this. In about 25, 30 years or so, my Pam comes up to live with me and I’m here to greet her at the redesigned entrance and Miles is playing My Funny Valentine? That happen? Heaven would live up to its name.”

NANCY CALLS MATT KIM'S FRIED CHICKEN-TOPPED GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH “THE COMFORT FOOD WE NEED RIGHT NOW”

Comfort food. The very term conjures up savory thoughts of fried chicken. grilled cheese sandwiches. But during these times when comfort food is more needed than ever, chef Matthew Kim has done something that seems almost revolutionary in it’s simplicity;; He has combined the two, placing a tender boneless piece of fried chicken atop an excellent crunchy grilled cheese sandwich.

The grilled cheese sandwich in itself is worthy of praise from the Universe’s master of the beloved form, Nancy Silverton. ‘It’s an excellent grilled cheese sandwich. It is the comfort food we need right now. The mornay inside is a brilliant move.”

The “mornay’ she is referring to is the mornay sauce. a Gruyere-infused bechamel, which blends with a 75% Gruyere, 25% cheddar cheese mix and caramelized onions between Bub N’ Grandmas’s house loaf.

Kim worked for Silverton at Osteria Mozza where his greatest achievement was meeting his future wife. McKenna Lelah Kim had previously worked in Chicago with chefs Grant Achatz and Dave Beran at Next and, after Mozza, was reunited with Beran. first a Dialogue and now Pasjoli on Main Street in Santa Monica. (Interesting - for some, at least - to note, when Beran replaced Marco Mapelli as the head Lamborghini test driver at the Nurburgring, Kim was promoted to run Pasjoli.)

Now,, credit for the addition of the fried chicken is controversial, at best. Some have said it was Kim’s idea, some said it was McKenna’s, and others are saying Larry Hoover, the imprisoned leader of the Gangster Disciples from the Southside of Chicago. came up with the idea.

Whoever did, it’s the sandwich for these historic times.

The non fried chicken version of the grilled cheese is available for $11. On Sunday, May 17th Pasjoli will offer a fried chicken dinner with lots of other stuff for $49.

https://www.pasjoli.com/menu-1