"The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done", Daniel Zaragoza, Aka The Fastest Dreamer, Runs The Boston Marathon

Daniel Zaragoza, the famed "Fastest Dreamer", had a game plan for yesterday's Boston Marathon and it was fairly simple; Run 26 miles and 385 yards in Boston one second faster than his stunning debut at the 2017 Los Angeles Marathon which he completed in two hours, 35 minutes and 24 seconds. . 

But, The Gods had plans of their own. Cold, slanting rains and persistent head winds - as well as long Bostonian hills - "slowed" Mozza2Go Go Go's Marathon Man down to 2:48.53, just over 13 minutes off his pace in L.A. when he was the 20th fastest runner overall.. 

"It was the hardest thing I've done in my entire life," Zaragoza said hours after the race. "My game plan was to go at a six minute pace, but that became 6:10. then it became just to finish. Yes, it was tough. Like, really tough."

At mile 23, the Fastest Dreamer came up with a  new goal.  "With three miles to go I just wanted to survive."

He survived and was, after an initial disappointment,  thrilled to have competed in America's premier marathon 

Yuki Kawauchi, 31 of Japan,   2:15.58 of Japan won the race with a time of 2:15.58

Desiree Lindon, 34 of Chula Vista, California, with a time of 2:39.54, became the first American to win women's event in 33 years

Tim Don, the world-record holder in the Ironman triathlon, who broke his neck six months ago, finished in 2:49:42.

Daniel Zaragoza's life was featured in this article published a week ago in the Times of London, the Beirut Daily News, the Stalingrad Sentinel and right here in Krikorian Writes. Here it is.

http://www.krikorianwrites.com/blog/2018/4/12/the-fastest-dreamer-daniel-zaragoza-mozza2go-go-gos-marathon-man-is-off-to-boston

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"The Fastest Dreamer" Daniel Zaragoza, Mozza2Go Go Go's Marathon Man, Is Off To Boston

Last year, while eating at the counter at Mozza2Go, I struck up a conversation with a new employee named Daniel Zaragoza. He told me a little about himself and, when I asked more, he said he was a Dreamer, having come to California  from Mexico at age two or three and then, almost casually, like it was no big deal, added he had recently run his first marathon, the L.A. one, finishing as the 20th fastest racer in the event and fifth fastest American.

I nodded and said said something like "Good for you", all the while thinking to myself, "Yeah, sure you're right. And I play centerfield for the New York Yankees."

Later that night, at home, I, for the hell of it, looked up the results of the 2017 Los Angeles Marathon. Damn, that dreamer wasn't just dreaming. Listed at 20th overall and the fifth American. with a time of 2:35.24.  was Daniel Zaragoza,  aka Mozza2Go Go Go's Marathon Man. The Fastest Dreamer. 

For the stat folks out there, Daniel was only 52 seconds off the time of the woman's professional champion, Hellen Jerkurgat of, big surprise, Kenya and less than. 12 minutes off the fastest American professional marathoner,  John Pickhaver. 

Daniel Zaragoza, 24,  was born in Veracruz, Mexico on October 4, 1993, but he has no memory of there. 

"My earliest memories are of Lincoln Heights, Los Angeles," he said, adding he attended Griffin Avenue Elementary, Florence Nightingale Middle and Abraham Lincoln High School.   At Lincoln High, he ran cross country and track & field in his junior and senior years. Daniel won his league's champion for cross country and made it to the finals for the citywide event.  "As a kid, I didn't understand what it was to be undocumented," he said. 

It wasn't until he was a senior ii high school that he fully understood the ramifications.

"Everyone was talking about universities, but i didn't really have a option," Daniel said. That troubled  him. "I am the only dreamer in my family. All of my cousins and siblings are citizens and so are most of my friends. It's hard sometimes not to be able to talk to someone about it.".

 So he escaped. With a pair of worn out running shoes..

"When I ran, i felt equal. It didn't matter where you came from, how much money you have. It was about who wanted it the most and who would train the hardest."

After high school, Daniel went to East LA College. He received a $500 scholarship which covered his first semester. He couldn't work because he didn't have a social security card, but his parents saved up and paid for the another semester. 

Daniel credits the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, (DACA) for allowing him to continue his education.

"Thanks to the Dream act, i was able to transfer to Cal State LA. where I ran for the team there with a partial athletic scholarship," said Daniel, who graduated in May, 2017.

Daniel runs and trains with BlacklistLA, the "Run Organization" founded in 2013 that you may have seen at a late night red light near you.  You know, those 200 or 300 crazy folks running through the streets at midnight? All them seemingly smiling and loving this city. They make you want to park your car and join them, even if your not in running shape.  

"BlacklistLA has been an terrifically positive influence for my running," Daniel said as he prepared to leave Mozza2Go and get on a plane Thursday night bound for Boston. "They have supported me and without them I wouldn't be going to Boston" 

Daniel credits BlacklistLA founder Erik Valiente for being a mentor to him. 

"Erik is someone I talk to about my goals and he does his best to guide me."

Now, the soft spoken dreamer - who I didn't believe at first - is all about motivating others.

"My goal is to make my own company.that inspires others to become whoever they want to be. I want to be able to go around the nation and talk to people and give them motivation, specially dreamers. Being a dreamer is very difficult. I used to hide away from it all the while others where out there fighting for my rights. Now that I'm older, i feel more secure about who I am and not afraid to stand up for dreamers, but in my own way."

And those worn out shoes? They been replaced by some $300 Nike Zoom Vaporfly 4%ers.

It's supposed to rain Monday on the Marathon in Boston, but that won't slow this dreamer down.   

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Coobook's Nut Nutter With Straus Barista Milk Could Be Banned From World Cookie Cup Pairs Competition

Ever since the invention of cookies in the 7th Century by the Persians, their pairing with milk has been a delight treasured around the world by billions from childhood to the golden years, an almost mystical combination that brings comfort to body and soul, that soothes a troubled day like one's favorite blanket on a cold, rainy night  

But, now,  a cookie/milk combination - the exquisite food shoppe Cookbook's "Nut Nutter Butter" peanut butter cookie with Straus Family Creamery's Barista Milk - is adding another element to its resume;  controversy   The peanut butter cookie - based on a fabled Nancy Silverton recipe - and milk team is so delicious, so extraordinary, so close-your-eyes-and-savor good that a concerted effort is underway to ban the combo from competing in the upcoming World Cookie Cup competition in Damascus.

"The combo of the Not Nutter and the Barista milk is simply, well, this may sound foolish on my part, but it's too good," said Ruth Graves Wakefield  III, granddaughter of the American chef who invented the chocolate chip cookie in 1938 at the Toll House Inn  in Whitman, Massachusetts with Sue Brides.  "They would demolish the competition and that's not good for the event.  Part of the allure, no, most of the allure of the World Cookie Cup is that, though there are favorites, there is never been a shoe-in  There's not a Secretariat in the '73 Belmont   Not Nutter and Barista, (known in the inner circles as NNAB) would win. It's that simple.  The Cup needs drama, needs suspense. Not a juggernaut."   

Last week In a closed testing conducted by McLaren Racing in Woking, outside of London, the Nut Nutter/Barista team scored an unofficial 675, a score long thought to be unattainable  The highest score ever attained at a World Cookie Cup was back in 1961 when a chocolate chocolate chip cookie made by James Beard teamed with bottled Broguiere's milk to score a 612.  At the time it was thought to be an unbreakable mark, the cookie equivalent of DiMaggio's 56 game hitting streak. Not anymore..  

ednesday afternoon, a spokesperson for Marta Teegan, the owner Cookbook, which as location on Echo Park Avenue and one on Figueroa in Highland Park, said she would file a formal :"letter of intent to compete" with the United Nations in a matter of hours. The UN Security Council is expected to debate and vote on the case Friday.. 

http://www.cookbookla.com/

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Cookies came to America through the Dutch in New Amsterdam in the late 1620s. The Dutch word "koekje" was Anglicized to "cookie" or cooky

"We're Making It Better", Top 11 Dishes From A Week In London

About 20 years ago, there was a billboard perched off the the 91 Freeway near the Wilmington Avenue off-ramp that read, in big, bold letters, "COMPTON...WE'RE MAKING IT BETTER".

You know a place has to be bad for that to be said.  You'd never see a sign in Holmby Hills proclaiming that.   

London, England is a place you hear a version of that when it comes to the food and restaurants.  Lines like "London's dining scene is so much better now" and the like are common.   For a recent week, Nancy Silverton commandeered a restaurant in the Shoreditch neighborhood called Passo and we had the opportunity to taste and test this theory that the food in London is better than ever.  I don't know how it used to be, but the food, while maybe not on a Los Angeles level, had many outstanding moments. Here is a list of the top 10 dishes of the trip

11. Lamb shawarma at Berber & Q Shawarma Bar on Oxmouth Market.   Everything we had at this small Lebanese restaurant was very tasty, but it was this lamb sandwich - the tender chunks of meat sliced from a  vertical spit, the harissa, the pita fresh and soft -  that keep me coming back. Twice I brought the Mozza crew shawarmas - lamb chicken, beef and cauliflower- from here for their after-shift, midnight meal. 

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.http://shawarmabar.co.uk/

10. Meat Pies from Fortnum and Mason on PIccadilly - One night after-shift meal was about !50 pound of chicken, beef, rabbit, game and vegetables pies from this multi-floored place that could be described as pretty, especially the candy and jam ground floor. Do not go their hungry. The pastry crust on these hearty pies were thick, but flaky. Their  regular chicken pot pie makes a Swanson's chicken pot pie taste like something that should be doing community service along the Harbor Freeway.

This place has been in business since 1707..  (Not a typo)

 https://www.fortnumandmason.com/

9. Original Lehore - This Pakistani kebab house in St John's Wood that bills itself as serving authentic Punjabi cuisine since 1970 was awarded - at least for the first 40 minutes of out visit - as having a level of service that was less attentive and caring than the prison guards at Folsom.

It wasn't even that is was bad service, it was that it didn't exist. Twice I had to get up and ask for a wine opener, and don't get me started on how many times I asked for ice. I stared to wonder if there was ice in Pakistan

But, once the lamb and chicken tikas and the lamb biryani showed up, the service was forgotten and the feast began.  

 http://www.originallahore.com/

8. Chicken Cottage , City Road branch - One particular long continuous lunch and dinner shift that last nearly 12 hours left the crew tired, cranky and middle-class starving. I walked to the Old Road underground "Tube", station, dipped in and emerged on the other side of a roundabout where the fast food restaurant Chicken Cottage was dishing it out. I asked "What's the best thing here?"   Fried chicken and grilled chicken, I was told and ordered both.

Back at Passo, the staff greeted my arrival like I was Admiral Lord Nelson returning from the magnificent victory over the Spanish and French fleets at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805. (That is a exaggeration, but it was a lot fun to write) 

They loved the chicken, especially the spicy grilled version. What i spend on meat pies, i made up her as the shabang cost less than 10 pounds. 

There are several Chicken Cottages, but this one is at 125 City Rd, Hoxton, London EC1V 1JB, UK

7. Turbot at Brat on Redchurch Street - Brat is kinda like slang for turbot, so it makes sense it was the star of our lunch here last Saturday. Chef Tomos Parry slow-cooks the turbot on the charcoal grill and it comes out succulent with a delicate flavor and a sprinkle of Maldon sea salt.  April Bloomfield recommended this place so we knew it was gonna be good.

6. Sweet Potato with Miso Butter at Foley's  - Nancy had built this side dish up to just about mythical levels as she had it on a December trip here. It lived up. We had a memorable times at this Fitzrovia favorite where chef Budgie Montoya blends Asian flavors with European technique. The charred broccoli, the banana leaf roasted sea bass with chili brown butter, the char su lamb, and many other dishes of chef were all very good, but it is that sweet potato that i crave right now.  Special thanks to Budgie who feed us like we had just returned from that Battle of Trafalgar mentioned above.

https://foleysrestaurant.co.uk/

5. Cheese Plate at St. John  Restaurant, Smithfield  - St. John is one of London's most acclaimed restaurants, Owned by chef Fergus Hendersona and Trevor Gulliver, it is known for offal, those less than glamorous part of animals.  But, St John's variety of the English blue cheese Stilton, here called Stichelton, is, well, just get it if you go here.  It's intense and dense.   It could single-handedly propel the United Kingdom to qualify for the World Cup of Cheese. They wouldn't win, but just getting to compete says a lot.  This Stichelton is also available at Neal's Yard Diary cheese store at Borough Market. That's even where the restaurant gets theirs.        

https://stjohnrestaurant.com/a/restaurants/smithfield                                                                                                                        Here;s the link to Neal's Yard Dairy.          https://www.nealsyarddairy.co.uk/shop-finder/neals-yard-dairy-borough-market-shop/

4. Toastie at Kappacasein next to  Borough Market - Just outside the entrance to that charming collection of food stalls known at Borough Market, is this stand that has a mound of freshly grated Montgomery cheddar cheese on view that people stop and stare at.  It's time for a "toastie", known in America as a grilled cheese sandwich. But, what made me have to have one was the bread, It is from Poilane Bakery in Paris. You could put anything legally classified as food between two slices of Poilane, and I'm in. Here's to Kappacasein and its owner Bill Oglethorpe

http://boroughmarket.org.uk/traders/kappacasein

3. Cheese Stick at Ottolenghi in Islington - The best cheese stick I have ever had.  Worth taking the Tube to the Heart station and walking nearly a mile just to get it.   I brought one, along with several desserts and some side dishes, paid and left.  A half block away, I took one bite of the cheese stick and stopped cold. I spun around and went back. The cashier lady said "Is something wrong?". I said "Yeah, I need more cheese sticks." There was four left, I took three. I didn't want to be that guy that denied everybody else.

https://ottolenghi.co.uk/islington

2. Bread Pudding with Butterscotch Sauce, St John - The color alone of the butterscotch sauce at St, John would get this dish in the top 25.  The best bread pudding.  I mean, look at that thing. Should I eat it or put it up at the Tate Modern?

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https://stjohnrestaurant.com/a/restaurants/smithfield     

1. Shoulder and Leg of Lamb at Nuala, - For our last meal, a Sunday Roast, our charming host, John Michael Sookias, the man in charge of and responsible for bringing Nancy to London and to Passo, took us to Nuala, a restaurant we walked by everyday and never considered going.  Too  bad.  We walked in and knew right off something good was going on at this place named after a female of Irish mythology. . Above  large open fired hung two glistening legs and shoulders of lamb.. When the leg came to the table, accompanied by a mound of lamb shoulder meat, that might have even been better than the leg, well, it was the best way to end our dining experience in London.

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http://www.nualalondon.com/

I could have made this list up of solely dishes I ate at Passo, but they were all Nancy Silverton dishes from Mozza served at the pop up at Passo.  I didn't get a chance to have any of the food normally served at Passo, but if they have the good taste to bring Mozza to London, then I'm betting it's, as Det. McNulty says,  spot on.

https://passorestaurant.com/

Yes, they are making it better in London. And, I guess, compared to the old days, they making Compton better, too.   

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

 

"They Don't And They Won't!" Ariana Flores Named Mozza International Employee Of The Month

For several minutes, Mozza's James Beard Award winning pastry chef Dahlia Narvaez calmly explained the problems she was having with the serving staff at Passo, the highly praised London eatery Nancy Silverton and her crew had commandeered for the week before Easter.

In firm and controlled voice, Narvaez told the man in charge of the event. John Michael Sookias, that servers were not properly picking up desserts. They picked up plates at an angle, they would often leave one dessert behind, they would not help out unless it was one of their assigned tables.  

Sookias assured her they would do better.

Ariana Flores, Mozza's pastry chef in Singapore, had been listening patiently in the wings, but could no longer be silent. She stormed up to Sookias, pointed a finger in his face and just about yelled like a Marine Corps drill sergeant, "They don't and they won't!"

A day later, they did and they would.

For that, and for dozens of other things - most notably saving the pizza dough - Ariana Flores has been name Mozza's first International Employee of the Month (IEM) for her exemplary performance in London.

Flores, who flew in from Singapore on her on own dime, charmed the staff, did her job, and - outside the restaurant - was a delightful companion, happy to be a tourist, eager to go along and just as willing to lead. On the sardined underground known as "The Tube, in the pouring rain and bitter cold, in the maze of Harrod's, in the hectic first days of service at Passo, she never complained.  Even on a dysfunctional "Hop On, Hop Off" red double-decker bus that she, Narvaez and a reporter were the only passengers on  - and wasted 96 pounds - she was a pleasure. 

For the record, that "they don't and they won't!" line above wasn't a complaint. It was more like an order issued from the United Kingdom's legendary Field Marshall Bernard Montgomery to his Desert Rats in the 1942 2nd Battle of El Alamein in North Africa. Fight better! And they did The team at Passo rallied and performed brilliantly from that moment on.

When informed of the award, Ariana was speechless for several seconds. Then; "I would like to thank my parents Jose and Eloisa, and God. Also my agent and all the people that made this happen."       

The photo below was described by Nancy Silverton as "looking like you two are on your Honeymoon."

London bridge

 

 

 

London Stunned By Murder Spree, 11 Homicides In 13 Days

It was a quiet night at the mini market in the Kentish Town neighborhood of Northwest London last Tuesday when suddenly the clerk heard a loud clang against the metal shutters on the side of the building. He went outside to investigate and saw a ghastly sight; a teenager slumped against the shutters, moaning in agony, hands tight against his stomach, blood dripping from his wet, shiny fingers.

By chance, a doctor was strolling by just then, a little after 8 p.m.. She dropped to her knees and quickly assessed the gravity of the boy's wounds. The English version of 911 was called. Other people appeared, some of them screamed. Residents of the 6-story apartment complex across the street heard the commotion and looked out their windows

The kid writhed as the doctor called out for towels to hold against the grave injury. Within seconds, the corner of Bartholomew Road and Islip Street was raining towels.  "I threw down four," a neighbor lady said.

The police arrived. They frantically urged on an ambulance as they took over from the doctor, pumping his chest. "They were pumping, pumping, pumping", said a man who works nearby. But, it was too late. The kid was gone. 

A lady arrived. The dead kid was partially covered now with those fallen towels, but what she could see of his jacket looked frighteningly familiar. She told the police to let her through. It could be my son. But, they didn't let her close. 

She called her son's phone. Three, four seconds later, from the dead kid's jacket, a cell phone rang.

About 90 minutes later, as the heartbroken mother of 17-year old Abdikarim Hassan was failing to be consoled by loved ones, there was another stabbing death. This time Sadiq Adan Mohamed was killed, on Malden Road near Queen's Crescent Market. 

The two killings brought to 11 the number of homicides in London in just a 13-day period, most of them stabbings.  There were about 105 homicides reported in London for all of 2017.

The latest two victims, were David Potter, 50, who was fatally stabbed in his flat in Tooting, south London, and Abraham Badru, 26, shot dead as he exited a car in Dalston, east London.  The two killings made for a two-inch brief on page eight in The Times.   

When I arrived in London on Friday, March 23, the thought I would be out on the streets reporting on a murder didn't remotely enter my mind. Since I had never been to London  - other than 17-hour layover -  I had planned the usual tourist stuff; Museums, a lot of walking, riding "the Tube", Harrod's, and hanging out at the restaurant Nancy Silverton had commandeered for a week near our hotel in a neighborhood called Shoreditch.

But, as I read the locals papers and viewed their websites, I was surprised, even alarmed by the frequent reports of stabbing deaths. The first one that grabbed me was of Benjamin Pieknyi, a 21-year old from Romania who came to the aid of a friend being attacked and was stabbed to death. A 22-year-old from the Ukraine was arrested for that. I wanted to get to his family, to the guy he came to aid, but they lived in Milton Keynes, a 90 minute drive from London.  

Then, the next day, when I heard about these two murders above, I almost felt an obligation, so I hit the streets.

The next day, an 18-year-old male, Isaiah Popoola, was charged with both killings. He will be tried at London's Old Bailey court.  

As for the victims, the few people I talked to all spoke very kindly of them.  Neither were gang members, they worshiped their families, were lightning quick to help others, were constantly smiling and loved to play football. They were both from the capital city of Somalia, brought to London at a young age to be safe from the dangers of Mogadishu.

IAbkikarim
 abdikarim hassan, 17, 

abdikarim hassan, 17, 

 SAdiq Adan Mohammad

SAdiq Adan Mohammad

 benjamin Pieknyi

benjamin Pieknyi

Mark Zuckerberg Admits Kate Green's Facebook Account Was Compromised And "Affected The Elections"

For 11 years, the fabled Mozza Employee of the Month elections had been held as a testament to democracy, equal opportunity, and fairness,  a literal symbol to the rest of the world of the righteousness of the American Way.

But, late Friday afternoon that all took a devastating body shot when, in a stunning interview, Facebook Founder Mark Zuckerberg admitted that the account of Kate Elizabeth Green, the one time Mozza reservationist and current aide-de-camp of Nancy Silverton, had been compromised and "almost certainly had affected the elections."

"Despite our best efforts, Miss Green's account was broken into by Cambridge Analytica who probably leaked it to the Russians," said an often stuttering Zuckerberg in the interview with the Washington Post's  Morty Goldstein, III. "I have meet Kate and I want to personally apologize."

That seemed to incense Goldstein, whose father Morty Goldstein, Jr and grandfather were both Mozza beat reporters for the Los Angeles Times. 

"Hey, Zucks, are there not a whole lot more important apologies to be made than just to Green?  How about one to the Free World?"  Many believe the Russians used this info to let it be known most of the Award winners were Mexicans and some believe that help heighten immigration fears. 

The timing of the Zuckerberg interview was almost to exact as to not be a Hollywood tale as today just happens to be the 11th anniversary of Kate Green's employment at Mozza

Green burst onto the national scene quite by accident at the  first anniversary celebration of Pizzeria Mozza.  Nancy Silverton was giving her now-traditional speech to the troops.  After a few minutes of reviewing the previous 12 months, she unexpectedly said "And we owe it all to,"  At that very moment, she paused, comedic timing magnificent, and pointed haphazardly to the lovely reservationist who just happened to be seated at the right place at the right time and Nancy said "We owe it all to Kate Green."

Recalling the moment Tuesday with Jamal Dauda, she said "Most of the people looked at me and said "Who the fuck is Kate motherfucking Green?"

In London tonight, Nancy herself recalled being in the office during the early weeks of Green's employment.

"I thought the only words she could speak were "Pizzeria Mozza" and "Osteria Mozza", Silverton said. "Let's just say her vocabulary has increased, uh, dramatically."

Reached by cell, Green was asked by Morty Goldstein about her thoughts about Nancy and the entire Mozza La Famiglia.  The phone went silent.   Her vocabulary had failed her. 

A minute later she was asked if she had anything to say to Mark Zuckerberg."

"Yeah, I sure," she said loudly. "Zuckerberg can go fuckerberg himself."

Did that mean she .would delete her Facebook account?

"Oh, no, Morty. Even if I wanted to I couldn't  There's too many people out there that want to see photos of me.  Did you see the one of my drinking on some Krug?   I don't like to brag, but that's some Clos du Mesnil, 2002. 

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Silverton Orders Chi Spacca "Shake Up" After Famed Restaurant Fails To Make Top 300 List, AGM Greer Ousted, DeNicola Demoted

Just one day after Rex Tillerson was fired as Secretary of State in a major White House administration shake up, the restaurant world was shocked to learn that Chi Spacca, the third eatery on the beloved Los Angeles corner of Nancy Silverton, was getting a shake up of it own. 

On Wednesday, Silverton ordered assistant general manager Greer "Shucker" Rosenzweig to "get out and say out" and then, in what is being called the culinary equal of Tillerson's firing, demoted chef Ryan DeNicola to Mozza2Go cashier and sous Joseph Tagorda  to "Garnish Cook",, a position usually held by interns.

Monday, a Washington Post investigation revealed that Chi Spaaca had been ranked the 313th best restaurant in Los Angeles. When told the news, both DeNicola and Tagorda seemed overwhelmed with joy. DeNicola even went so far as to publicly  "thank the Academy". The two, along with three line cooks, posed for a photo to celebrate. 

But, Nancy Silverton was found no cause for celebration. Outrage was more her mood The only person to win the James Beard Award for Outstanding Chef in America and Outstanding Pastry Chef in America ordered an immediate internal investigation and, in the words of a close friend, "was not playing."

"Nancy may seem all mellow and sweet to the public, " said the friend who spoke on the condition of anonymity, "But, when the fast balls come, she can swing as hard as Roberto Clemente."   

Spacca is best known for large cuts of meats grilled before patrons as well as a lineup of vegetarian dishes that would please a extremist vegan.  The Trip Advisor rating was largely puzzling to those who know good restaurants.  Even Joel Robuchon, the most honored chef in the world, was baffled.

"Chi Spacca is my fourth  favorite restaurant in all of America  after Pizzeria Mozza, Osteria Mozza and Atelier Crenn, " said Robuchon, who restaurants have 32 Michelin stars.  ( Not a typo.)  "If there were 312 restaurants better than Spacca in Los Angeles, I would have to be cooking at 309 of them."

As for the sacking of assistant general manager Greer "Shucker" Rosenzweig, Mozza spokesperson Kate Elizabeth Green said she had left voluntarily to purse a career as an oyster shucker in New England. However, insiders said Shucker was "let go for undisclosed reasons."

To further make the connection with Tillerson, who learned of his fate via Twitter, DeNicola was informed of his demotion by a reporter from the Post. Uncharacteristically, the normal pleasant DeNicola unloaded on the reporter.  Security footage obtained by the Los Angeles Times shows an angry DeNicola screaming at the reporter to "Get the hell out of here. Go eat at the Pizzeria. At least they're ranked 41."

cahsier

 

 

Mozza's Chi Spacca Named 313th Best Restaurant In Los Angeles By Trip Advisor, Thrilled Chef Ryan DeNicola Plans Celebration Dinner

When a humble, one-time cooking school adjacent to Nancy Silverton's fabled Osteria and Pizzeria Mozza corner re-invented itself as a restaurant in  ? years ago, few gave it much chance of entering that rarefied club of L.A.'s finest dining establishments.

But, Monday, long time supporters of Spacca, as it is affectionately known, were tooting their trombones when it was revealed that "The Little Meat Palace That Could" had been named the 313th best restaurant in all of  Los Angeles city and county. 

"I don't even know what to say." said Spacca's stunned executive chef Ryan DeNicola upon hearing the news "I'm speechless. I would like to thank the Academy, though."

Dahlia Narvaez, the James Beard Award winning pastry chef who provides Chi Spacca with desserts was "thrilled" with the 313 rating. "This doesn't suck," Narvaez said. 

However, Sous chef Joseph Tagorda, aka "The Hurtful Chef", typically, wasn't happy with the ranking.  "Geez," he spewed sarcastically, "What was number 1? The Pantry, Otium or Trejos Tacos?"

The only sad news about Chi Spacca being rated 313 is, unfortunately, it's not accurate, despite what Trip Advisor's budding Michelin inspectors say. Just think if Los Angeles was such a good eating town that there really were 312 restaurants better than Chi Spacca.  Hell, there's not even 312 restaurants on Planet Earth better than Spacca.

EDITOR'S NOTE- At press time, rumors were afloat that Chi Spacca had actually moved up to 311.

 Chi Spacca chefs and cooks celebrate the 313. 

Chi Spacca chefs and cooks celebrate the 313.