Tuscany On High Alert As "Laughing Lesbians", Banned From Umbria, Arrive In Florence


The good news is they are not The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. In fact, they might just be the exact opposite.

Dubbed Saturday in the Italian media as the “Four Lesbians of the Laughter”, a quartet of San Francisco Bay Area women - who had been in Umbria for the past week - arrived today in Florence and the city was prepared. They were prepared, not for destruction wrought by the Horsemen, but for a level of laughter perhaps not heard here since Bruneschelli slide off his Duomo and attempted - with disasterous results - to land on the adjacent Bell Tower of Giotto..

Authorites and citizens of Florence alike had been anxiously awaiting the arrival after learning the four had shattered the Umbrian laugher record while spending a week in the quiant town of Panciale. Darla K Anderson, Kori Rae, Bret Parker and Petey Wacc set a record of 2,101 group ‘jumbo laughs’ - over 110 decibles. - in the days they were in town. The four, in Panicale for Parker’s upcoming 40th birthday and to have a dinner prepared by Nancy Silverton at her home, average over 18.5 jumbo laughs per hour, ( allowing for eight hours to either sleep, pass out, our both.)

Scores of residents of Panicale have already filed formal complaints with the United States Embassy in Rome claiming sleep depravation and the resulting crankiness.

It wasn’t that there wasn’t a giant warning signs the Laughing Lesbians could be problematic. The four made an onimous entrance into Panicale. They crashed a 4th of July party hosted by Nancy Silverton at her home. Let me repeat that. They crashed a 4th of July party hosted by Nancy Silverton at her party.

Silverton herself saw them and turned to Michael Krikorian and said “Did you invite those lesbians?”

The word quickly spread to Florence. aka Firenze, that they were heading that way after it was confirmed by police that Darla K, the ringleader, had made a hotel reservation at an undisclosed site near the Arno.

“Look, of course I want to make tourists feel comfortable, and have a wonderful time, but my main concern is the citizens of Firenze,” said the city’s mayor Fabiano Ferrari. “My biggest concern? Of the four Ls? It would have to be that McGoo one. What’s her name? Bret? She’s liable to walk smack dab into the real David and knock my boy down. Or even the fake David out in the piazza. Hell, Mcgoo might walk into Giotto’s Bell Tower and crumble that old motherfucker. She’s a problem.”

Authorites also expressed concern for Petey Wacc, who is a dean of a K-8 school in Bernal Heights, a neighborhood of San Francisco not on any tourist’s “must see” list.

“Wacc is known for stealing sandwiches of poor students at her own school,” said Lorenzo Lamborghini, Florence’s chief of police. “Repeat. That’s students at her own school. For a balony sandwich! It’s frightening to think what she would do to a student she didn’t even know for a proscuitto de Parma panini.

As for Kori Rae, police chief Lamborghini was skeptical. ”Look, here’s a woman who right before she leaves town, gives Nancy Silverton three bottles of wine and three large hunk of percorino de PIenze. That seems very strange to us. It makes no goddamn sense. She will be closely monitored.”

But, it was ringleader Darla K Anderson who has brought the most worries to Italian authorities.

“This is a woman who lives to break rules,” said chief Lamborghini. “Someone tells her "‘don’t do something’, Guess what? She does it.“

Still, both Chief Lamborghini and Mayor Ferrari said their main concern about the ringleader was simply her name

“No one even knows what the “K” stands for,” said Lamborghini. “That’s a very dangerous letter.”

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Nancy Silverton's Stunning Fried Chicken Revelation

This morning, Friday, May, 10th, 2019, I handed her a bowl of some goo. She looked at it and then Nancy Silverton went silent. She was having her culinary equivalent of a bolt of lightening hurled down from Zeus. I could tell. The event lasted mere seconds. Then she spoke.

“Raul, do you have any raw chicken?” Raul, Osteria Mozza’s day time sous., didn’t Neither did Sal, his boss. . But, Benji, from the pizzeria did.

Dip. Dip. Fry.

Distracted, I headed home. Halfway there, a mile away, I got a call. “Come back. You have to taste this fried chicken.”

Naturally, I did and now I’m writing about it. Today is the L.A. Times’ Food Bowl fried chicken event. They’ll be lotta good fried chicken. Howlin’ Rays even, maybe. But they’re won’t be any breakthroughs like I witnessed. When told what was going on, Shiri Nagar, the storied gelato master of the Mozza Corner, simply had a look of wonder and said “I don’t think that’s ever been done.”

I tried to get the recipe unveiled here. Nancy did, too, But, that little urine licker sellout Bill Barr insisted on redacting the key element, so we will have to wait. The working title is Nancy’s La Brea Bakery Sourdough Fried Chicken”. That was not redacted and is key.

Here is a photograph smuggled out of the Corner.

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Michael Cimarusti's James Beard Award Under Review After Presenter Elizabeth Falkner Accused Of Collusion

Three days after the sports world was stunned when Kentucky Derby winner Maximum Security was disqualified for interference, the restaurant world was shocked to learn their most revered awards show was rife with intimidation, judge tampering and even collusion with presenters.

The news broke in Chicago early Tuesday morning, less than 12 hours after the end of James Beard Awards, the so-called “Culinary Academy Awards”,. when a shaken chef Elizabeth Falkner, who presented the award for “Best Chef in the West”, was accused of collusion and placed in protective custody by the FBI immediately after giving a tearful news conference where she broke her silence on what law enforcement is calling the “underporkbelly” of the restaurant world.

Falkner said she feared for her life and that’s why she blurted out “Michael Cimarusti“ as the winner of the award for best chef in the west. There was jubilation in the crowd for Cimarusti, the chef and co-owner of the revered Los Angeles seafood restaurant Providence, who had finally won an award that had eluded him for nine years.

Or had he?

Falkner, literally shaking, refused to name names, but she said her life was threatened by a business associate of Cimarusti’s. When a reporter pressed her to give up a name, Falkner went ballistic. “What the fuck? Do you think I want to be sleeping with the striped bass? I’d be floating in the Chicago River in an hour if I give you the name. Fuck you and your newspaper.”

Almost immediately the announcement, another Los Angeles chef, Jessica Koslow of Sqirl who finished second in the voting. said Cimarusti should not be disqualified. “I love Michael and last night was a long time coming. He is a great chef, but his boss has no business in the restaurant world.”

Koslow was referring to reputed mob boss Donato Poto, Cimarusti’s business partner who calls himself “a humble front of the house guy” at Providence. An FBI agent,, speaking on the condition of anonymity, scoffed at that notion. “Don Poto calling himself a front of the house guy” is like Don Corleone calling himself an olive oil salesman,” he said.

It is universally believed that the genuinely nice Cimarusti had absolutely nothing to do with any alleged crimes. However, sources admitted they were focusing their investigation Poto.

In the jam-packed after parties of the James Beard Awards, Don Poto smiled at this reporter when asked about the incident and possible collusion, and intimidation. When he finally spoke, it was chilling.

“Write what you have to write. Just be careful. Everyone knows you’re not hard to find. You’re at the Mozza Corner every night, right? I would hate for something unfortunate to happen to you. You have a lot to live for.. All I’m saying is be careful. Enjoy your time in Chicago.”

Terrified Elizabeth Falkner Accepts A “Handshake” From Donato “Don” Poto.

Terrified Elizabeth Falkner Accepts A “Handshake” From Donato “Don” Poto.



Trump Unleashes Twitter Tirade On Kate Green's Birthday; Calls her "34 Million Years Old", Says KG Stands For "Krug Guzzler"

Just hours before the kickoff of the highly anticipated annual six-week-long celebration of Kate Elizabeth Green’s birthday, U.S. President Donald J. Trump took to Twitter, unleashing a series of lengthy - and often untrue, rude and misspelled - comments about the controversial and very public personal assistant to Nancy Silverton.

Three hours before the celebration was set to begin at the Firehouse Hotel in the Arts District of Los Angeles.Trump fired off a first Tweet, that, in light of his Sunday “super fuck-up” regarding the Sri Lanka attacks that he wrote “killed at least 138 million people”, could only be construed as petty. He wrote “Congratulations To Kate Green on herrr birthday. She’s 34 million years old. Boy, I thought she was only 31 million years old. She’s probably way too old for Crazy Joe Biden to molest”

Minutes later he followed that up with a “KG. people thought it means Kate Green. We know it means KRUG GUZZLER. Hey, Krug Guzzler, what’s wrong with American sparklers? Go back to France”

Not content to stop there, the President, who didn’t tweet at all today about Syria, Watts, Health Care or Sri Lanka, typed in “Hey Krug Guzzler, wasn’t it David Rosoff who schooled you that Krug didn’t come in a box?

Apparently fired up, trump didn’t let up. “Hey Krug Green, what ever happened to your Beaujolais period? You Bo-Joe phase only lasted 5 million years.”

Kate Green, who hired on at The Corner more than 12 years ago, burst on the national scene during the now-storied first anniversary of Pizzeria Mozza. It was on that night in 2007 when Nancy, going solely on the nearby seat Kate had taken, gave her credit for the restaurant’s success. Most in attendance, all Mozza employees, had no clue who she was. In fact, dozens in the crowd said “Kate who?”

Since then, well, she hasn’t been exactly shy in celebrating her successes and her birthdays. When she won the “30 Under 30” award in 2014, she hired Annie Leibowitz to take photographs of her and party attendees at a photo booth she had set up in Yosemite Valley with Half Dome as a backdrop. .

On her 30th birthday, an the Times of London ran a story that was later found out to be a hoax. The hoax? That a remote fishing village in Madagascar had NOT been aware of Kate Green’s upcoming birthday. Who could possible believe a story that claimed there was a place on Earth that wasn’t up on her birthday.

To read it in full … http://www.krikorianwrites.com/blog/2015/4/21/remote-village-in-east-madagascar-claims-to-have-no-knowledge-of-kate-greens-upcoming-birthday

An hour before press time here, Trump continued his tirade. “When Krug Guzzler lived in Modesto it was like a war zone. They called it the Fallujah of the Central Valley. But since she left and since i became president, Modesto is one of the safest cities in the world..”

As deadline approached, he threw in one more Twitter dig on Kate Green’s 34th birthday - “Your criminal Uncle Mike keeps promising you a bottle of Raveneau Chablis, Le Clos.. Where is the Raven-OH? I bet all he gave you on your 34th millionth birthday was some stupid story.”

Green, who was accompanying Silverton while the revered chef did a podcast in Hollywood, was unavailable for comment.

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As A City Mourns Nipsey Hussle In The Staples Center, A Family Mourns Maurice Forte In Nickerson Gardens

Josiah Walker stayed up late Saturday night - past midnight into Sunday morning -because that day, April 7th, was a big deal to him. It was his 10th birthday. Not long after he turned 10, Josiah heard three gunshots. He was in Nickerson Gardens, Watts, a place long accustomed to the wicked sound.

His mother, Jacqueline, a bit hard of hearing. didn’t hear the shots, but she soon heard the commotion at the front door of her unit. Justice, the 17 year-old girlfriend of her son Maurice Forte, 18, was there in full distress. Maurice had just been shot.

Jacqueline ran outside, to Imperial Highway near Parmelee Avenue, to a metal gate entrance along the sidewalk of the projects, and saw that worst sight a mother could see; Her son’s lifeless body, three red holes on his sweatshirt.

As the city today focused on the death of beloved rapper Nipsey Hussle, as peace marches spurned by his shooting have attracted thousands to Crenshaw and Slauson and lead the local news, the struggles of Watts went on almost unnoticed west of Central Avenue.  

But, here, inside Watts, the pain was as unbearable as ever.

A nearly lifelong Nickerson Gardens female resident who goes by the name Red led me to Maurice’s mother’s apartment. Red used to live next door and knew the slain boy when he was yay high.

Jacqueline Walker comes to the front door to meet us. She is not in tears. She is not red-eyed. She seems, actually, kind of drained of emotion. As if the last two days she’s been in Zombieland. It’s not that she’s medicated, it’s just that she’s so brokenhearted her emotions have run dry.

Red hugs her.  She looks at me and, before I even say a word, she politely says “I just want to let you know there are no words of comfort that can make me feel better. There are no words.”

So I say nothing, in hopes she will continue, maybe start talking about her son without a prompt. She doesn’t.    

In an effort to obtain instant credibility, I tell her “I’ve been covering Watts for close to 30 years. I’m old friends with Kartoon and with Loaf.”

She looks at me blankly. Kartoon, I repeat. Loaf, Nothing. No reaction. “You don’t know of Kartoon or Loaf,” I asked, mentioning two legendary men around these parts. She shakes her head, in an almost embarrassed way.

Red bursts into laughter. “That right there shows you how square she is. You live in Nickerson Gardens and don’t know Kartoon or Loaf?  Girl, you gotta be the squarest lady up in here.” Red burst into laughter. And, almost certainly for the first time in over 48 hours, so does Jacqueline.

It turns out this “Kartoon”, whose name is Ronald Antwine, came across the crime scene almost immediately after it occurred.

“Moe was already dead,” Kartoon said as he stood in front of the Nickerson Gardens gym, famous for a small mural that says “Nobody Can Stop This War But Us” and larger ones listing the names of residents who have died, both naturally and violently.

Antwine had been at a friend’s party earlier Saturday night. Here is some of what he wrote to me later;

“I  went to my lifelong friend Greg’s 60th birthday party, The odds were stacked against us to live a full life years ago. I sat and partied with my O.G’s and the reunion was priceless.

“I left that party and went to another where I sat with an O.G. who, at one time, would have been labeled as my enemy. We talk about, not only Nipsey Hussle’s murder, but the gang culture here in Watts and South Central. We both acknowledged the lack of respect many youngsters display, the disloyalty and the devaluation of life. After a lengthy conversation we parted ways in the hopes of ending our night peacefully.

“In less than 10 minutes the uplifted spirit of mine fell from its heights, my emotions became unstable, my life felt so empty. A few seconds in front of me an act of  cowardice took place, I pulled over knowing I couldn’t render any assistance. I watched a young man take his last breath.”

“I feel bad about Nip, It’s a tragedy.  But, his funeral gonna be at Staples Center and the whole city will be watching and grieving. What about the family here grieving for their kid.”  

.“I’m tired, just simply tired of what has become just another day in the hood.”

The LAPD would only say their investigation is continuing.

“We’re working on a few thing, but we’re in the infancy of the investigation,” said Det. Arron Harrington of LAPD’s South Bureau Homicide.

Since the killing, as is common after a shooting, rumors have been rampant and Harrington doesn’t want to encourage more. A video even briefly surfaced on Facebook of the fallen young man.  

Back at Jacqueline’s, her and Red stood at the entrance of the two units, an area maybe 15 square feet. This was Moe’s childhood playground, they say.  His family wouldn’t let him venture out into the projects, home of the Bounty Hunter Bloods, one of America’s most infamous street gangs.

Maurice’s confinement didn’t last. After being bussed to middle school, the small confines of the porch was no longer possible and Moe started to hang out. In short time, he was getting into trouble. He did time in juvenile camp for being a look out on a burglary, a crime that both his mother and Red had another laugh about.

“I don’t even think he knew what he was doing,” said Red. “He was supposed to be a look out on a burglary and he was playing on the phone when the police drove by.  He sure couldn’t be my lookout when I was robbing banks.”

Soon, Maurice had sprouted to 6-foot, 1” and became known in some circle  as “Big Moe”. His troubles continued and he, while not a ruthless hard core killer, would end up in camp or juvenile hall, usually for a failure to appear that a warrant had been issued for. “Everyone around here would remember him as a good kid,” said Red. “But, in Nickerson Gardens, you can’t help but know your neighbors and if they happen to be Bounty Hunters, you just can’t ignore them.”

Jacqueline suddenly remembers his probation officers, a Mrs. Grimes from the Compton office. “She is going to be devastated. She was very kind to Maurice.”  

It’s often hard for people, even if they live here in, say, West L.A. or Encino to understand or even give a damn when a gang member dies. The first, knee jerk response is usually “Well, he was a gang member. What did he expect?”  What, they don’t understand is in some places it’s safer, certainly easier to be in a gang than not.  And being in a gang doesn’t make you a killer. In the city’s most notorious gangs; Bounty Hunters, Grape Street, Rollin’ 60s, Hoover Criminals, shot callers have told me the vast majority – up to 90, 95% - are not “true riders”, the hard core who “put in work” for the gang.  

Still, the newspapers are full of two word biographies -  “gang member” – to describe the life of a countless homicide victims. But, who was that person?

Maurice’s girlfriend, Justice, who was with him when he was killed as they were walking to a market,  said she met him three years ago when she was only 14.. “Months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend.”

Justice in a soft, barely audible voice, spoke of his gentleness, his thoughtfulness.  

“I never expected him to do half of things he did for me. If I needed to talk, he wanted to listen. He wouldn’t butt in and say something, he would let me talk.  He was always there for me.”

Later, Justice texted me the following

“I have something else I want to add. He was the first boy to meet my father and my father loved him so.  That made me love him even more. Maurice was such an adventure. We were always happy. I love him and I will forever cherish him in my heart.”

Reached by phone, Moe’s sister Kiearra can’t speak other than to say “This is about to be hard.”  She hands the phone to another brother, Jahmile.

“He was a loving person,” Jahmiel Forte, Jr. said “He would never want to hurt anyone. He was all about family.  He loved music. Loved rap. We’d sing together.”

Thinking, reaching for some sap, that  I might get an ironic Nipsey Hussle shout-out, I ask “Who was his favorite rapper?’

“Himself,” said his sister Kiearra, returning to the phone. “He was his favorite rapper. Only thing, was he never go to finish a song.”

Another sister, Janae, Forte, 20. said her brother was always smiling and would never let anyone know if he was down.

“There was never a day when he showed anger or sadness,” she said. “If he ever was, no one knew because he would keep it to himself.”

Back in Nickerson Gardens, his mother talked about his dreams of becoming in the music business and getting out of this neighborhood.

“He wanted to go someplace peaceful,” said Jacqueline. She said that three more times. Each time a little softer, almost like she was  thinking -or at least hoping – he is there now.

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Nipsey Russell, The Rhyming Comedian/Poet Who Nipsey Hussle Got His Stage Name From

In the wake of Sunday’s shooting death of Nipsey Hussle and the outpouring of grief for the rapper who didn’t forget where he was from, I wanted to briefly give some recognition to the man he got his stage name from.

It came from Nipsey Russell, a popular comedian from the 50s, 60’s, 70s 80s and 90s who was a frequent guest on talk and game shows and was best known for his fast - and usually funny - little poems. His rhymes - and I’m totally guessing here - might have been a source of joy for the hip hop artist whose birth name was Ermias Asghedom

Russell made his first national TV appearance in 1957 on the Ed Sullivan Show. In 1978 he play the Tin Man in “The Wiz” with Diana Ross. He was a fixture on “Hollywood Squares”.

During the 1990s, Russell gained popularity with a new generation of television viewers as a regular on late NIght with Conan O’Brien. He would often give his trademark rhymes on the show and - once again, guessing - maybe this is where Nipsey Hustle became entertained enough to adopt a street version of his name.

Born in Atlanta in 1918, Nipsey Russell died at age 87 in New York City in 2005. For the record, Nipsey was born Julius Russell. He said he was given the name “Nipsey” by his mother because she “just liked the way the name Nipsey sounded.”

So did Nipsey Hussle.

Here’s a Nipsey Russell classic

“There’ so much talk about sex

That I have made a vow

To find the guy who invented sex

And see what he’s working on now”

Here’s some of Russell’s rhymes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJx2fvdPzo4

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Robert Mueller To Investigate Murder Cases Of LAPD Det. Chris Barling For "Collusion With Watts Gang Members"

One day before he is scheduled to retire from the Los Angeles Police Department, legendary homicide detective Christopher Barling was dealt a shocking blow when word leaked that the United States Justice Dept. had assigned Robert Mueller III to prepare a report regarding his possible “collusion with Watts street gang members”, authorities said Wednesday.

The report by Mueller, who just finished a much-publicized investigation on the possible links between Donald J. Trump’s presidential campaign and Russia, could put in jeopardy the more than 8,900 homicide cases Barling worked and cleared. “If it turns out Barling colluded with gang members in Watts, all those cases could be reviewed and likely thousands of them would be overturned,” said a federal law enforcement source speaking on the condition of anonymity. “If that happens the streets of Los Angeles would be flooded with convicted killers.”

What sparked the Justice Dept. investigation was discovery of a nearly 30-year-old internal memo that was leaked to the Washington Post and Krikorian Writes over the weekend and has since been thoroughly vetted.. The memo, from a active current member of LAPD’s storied Robbery-Homicide Division, details incidents of collusion in which Barling is alleged to have been involved in as far back as 1990.

Though heavily redacted, the statements are from Det. Tim Marica, who once partnered with Barling in the Southeast Division which includes Watts. Here is what the Washington Post published online earlier today, Wednesday, with redactions intact.

“In 1990, Barling and I were assigned to Gang Unit in SOE ([sic] Div.. Being young officers, we would come in early and meet with homicide dets. The rest of the coppers in the unit were always dumbfounded on how Barling always had inside information on the Bounty ####### and the P#s. When making an awesome arrest, he’d play it ff by saying “I’m really an O’Barling and it’s just luck of the irish.” Then, one day, I saw him in Grape Stre## hood on his day off. I snuck up and heard him talking to an OG. That’s when I heard it. O’Barling claimed he was actually a gangster and had been jumped in by the E/S Patty Crip set. From what i could hear O’Barling had made an alliance with Grape ##### Cri##. He’d lay off of them as long as they gave up info on other rival gangs in the projects.”

Det. Marcia did not respond to repeated phone calls, texts, and E-mails.

Barling, a 32-year veteran of the LAPD, has long been among the most respected detectives in the modern history of the city. A former employee at Disneyland, he gained fame in 1997 during the double murder trial of Cleamon “Big Evil” Johnson when he testified as a gang expert and spoke nonstop for a record 17 hours straight. In a memorable moment of the trial, Big Evil told the judge, Charles E. Horan, ”I’ll confess if this motherfucker just shuts the fuck up.” **

When reminded of that long-winded incident in 1997, retired LAPD homicide detective John Skaggs found it difficult to believe Johnson told that to judge Horan. “I always thought Barling was in cahoots with Big Evil,” Skaggs said.

Still, one of Barling’s closest colleagues, Sal LaBarbera, agreed that Barling could talk with the best of them.. “We called him “The Filibuster’,” LaBarbara, said “He would talk everyone’s ear off until you would see things his way.”

Still, most current and retired LAPD personnel who worked with Barling were stunned by the news of the Mueller investigation.

“No comment,” said Capt. Cory Palka, commander of the Hollywood Division who knew Barling from the 77th. Palka claimed he had no idea about the Mueller probe.

Rob Bub, an LAPD homicide investigator for 22 years and currently co-director of investigations at the Los Angeles Detective Agency, said he had always respected Barling’s skills, but started to get suspicious of him last year..

“I think I really started to suspect [collusion] when I heard there was a deal in the works to rename the Watts Towers the Barling Towers,” Bub said.

A veteran crime reporter for the L.A. Times said she wasn’t shocked by the allegations.

“Barling has been playing both sides since before I was born,” said Nicole Santa Cruz. “It’s the worst kept secret in the South end. Despite that, I’m still really going to miss him.”

One member of the Grape Street gave an insight on how Barling benefitted from “insider info” gleaned from gang members.

“Say, for ‘zample, Barling got T Bone from the PJs in the box,” said the gang member who spoke on the condition of anonymity and if I would get him a 40. “We know Bone got a thing for a hottie from the Folsom Lot in the Nickersons who go by ‘Shiitake’. Ya know, like that mushroom. Anyway, So, Barling gets to interviewing T Bone and starts going on and on about Shiitake. You feel me? ‘Fore you know it, Bone giving it up just to get 411 on her. You feel me? On the street we call that fuckin’ with a homie. But, on CNN that’s called ‘collusion’.”

Despite the allegations. many spoke in awe of Barling’s skill, his caring and his single-minded pursuit.of bringing some type of justice to the families of the fallen. One of them was Rick Gordon who has worked with Baring since 1993. He spoke for many when he said the following;

“I always used to tell Chris that he ‘may be’ the best homicide detective supervisor that I have ever worked with. I would always say ‘may be’ because i’ve worked with so may great people and I didn’t want it going to his head. Now that he’s retiring, I was finally able to tell him that he was the best of the best.”

Gordon continued. “Chris was the complete package. He knowledge, work ethic, leadership skills, and compassion for others was truly remarkable. He was a great teacher and mentor for new homicide detectives. Most of all. he truly cared about providing justice for families of murder victims.”

Barling declined to comment for this article and referred all questions to his attorney, Michael Avenatti.

###

Chris Barling represents what is good about - not only the LAPD - but police forces around the world. Barling is a person whose mission is to not let you get away with murder. Many of my friends hate him.

PUBLISHER ’S NOTE - When one of our journalists, Michael Krikorian, approached Det. Chris Barling about doing a serious article about his career at the LAPD, the detective was against the idea. He did not want a glowing, even gushy farewell to the murder cop story. When Krikorian said “How about a fictional story about you being investigated for collusion?”, Barling was all in. So here it is. I added this note because, according to sources in the department - police, not Justice - many people thought Barling really was in the shithouse with Mueller and company. Stay tuned.

As for Barling, here is a story from five and a half years ago on why he - and others - do what they do. It was known as the the Craigslist Cell Phone Killing. http://www.krikorianwrites.com/blog/2013/10/28/daughter-of-slain-man-thanks-detectives-for-arrests

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Nancy Silverton Sets New Course Record For Dodger Stadium To Chasen's Race

Overshadowing the summary of Mueller report today, Nancy Silverton set a course record on the first ever Dodger Stadium to Chasen’s Rally, (DSCR) covering the undulating 16 mile trek in just over four hours and inspiring people around the world who don’t train seriously.

Silverton, 64, began the DSCR, a highly exclusive subset of the Los Angeles Marathon, with famed pastry chef Dahlia Narvaez, who kept on trucking after 16 miles on her way to god knows where. The two started off at the very mound where Sandy Koufax pitched, headed to Chinatown - where I was born - for dim sum, past the old L.A. Times building, over to Grand Central Market for coffee at G & B and up toward HomeState where owner Briana “Breezy” Valdez awaited with outstanding beef brisket tacos.

Then it was through the heart of Hollywood Boulevard, the Sunset Strip and down the homestretch to Chasen’s.

For you youngsters, Chasens was a iconic L.A. restaurant at 9039 Beverly Blvd. - near Doheny - that opened in 1936 and closed in 1995 and was famous as a celebrity hangout far more than any current restaurant in America. It’s most renowned dish, Dave’s Hobo Chili, named after the owner Dave Chasen, was famously flown to Rome by Elizabeth Taylor during the filming of a movie.

Back home, Silverton did that most refreshing of things; took off her running/walking shoes, laid out by her pool and ask for red grape juice that had been slightly fermented.

Pizzeria GM Alan Birnbaum and Mozza pastry sous Marisa Takenaka ran something like 26 or 27 miles to finish the L. A Marathon before attempting to set a record for beer consumption.

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"Beat n' Bleach", Nigeria's Largest Hoax Attack Firm Announces Major Layoffs After Botched Jussie Smollett Mugging

In a rapid response to the arrest of television actor Jussie Smollet “Beat n’ Bleach”, the firm that employed the two men to fake-attack him with a noose, quasi bleach and fingernails while denouncing him as he held onto a Subway sandwich announced Sunday it would layoff 90% of their employees.

“This has been a significant blow to Beat n’ Bleach,’ said the company’s founder Tito Amin, nephew of a former Ugandan dictator . “I thought the Jussie mugging would be a boon to us, but it backfired like a Cape Buffalo with the shits. I’m cutting 90% of my in work force.” ( for the record, latest statistics indicate that Beat n’ Bleach employed 10 workers. So if Amin is telling the truth - not something his family is known for - it would leave only him employed there.)

Two brothers, Ola and Abel Asundairo, now-former employees of the Lagos-based Beat n‘ Bleach, and Smollett apparently underestimated the surveillance camera capability in Chicago, a town known for many things, but not for either hangings or bleachings.

Lagos, the largest city in Africa, is actually known for bleachings. According to the World Health Organization. Nigeria has the highest rate of skin bleaching in Africa. Worldwide, the Nigerians are ranked third in the world for bleaching, behind second place India and winner Norway. home to the greatest bleachers in recorded history.

Back to Smolletts, stupidity scholars at the University of Chicago were hard at work trying to figure out what was the 2nd stupidest thing ever committed in the Windy City.

One person who came out looking decidedly smart and strong in this bizarre ass story was Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson who took control of the news conference Thursday and angrily denounced Smolletts.

“Why,” Johnson said, “would anyone, especially an African-American man, use the symbolism of a noose to make false accusations? How could someone look at the hatred and suffering associated with that symbol and see an opportunity to manipulate that symbol to further his own public profile? How can an individual who has been embraced by the city of Chicago turn around and slap everyone in this city in the face by making these false claims?”

Eddie Johnson , The impressive Chicago chief of police ( called a superintendent there)

Eddie Johnson , The impressive Chicago chief of police ( called a superintendent there)






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