Just minutes before 700 illegal DVDs of secret recipes from a renowned Los Angeles restaurant were to be sold on the black market to fund terrorism, a U. S. Special Forces team raided the home of the establishment's manager and, after a brief, but intense struggle, took her and the contraband into custody.
Arrested at her South Los Feliz home was Kate "Bleu" Linington, manager of Mozza's revered Chi Spacca. Linington is being held in a undisclosed CIA 'Black Site' somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere, according to sources close to the investigation .
The White Hose released the following statement Wednesday afternoon: "Shortly after dawn today, a United State Special Forces team, consisting primarily of Army's elite Delta Force, successfully raided the home of restaurant manager Kate Linington where 700 DVDs of [Chi] Spacca secrets were about to be handed off to suspected terrorists. These terrorists could have sold those secret recipes for several hundred million dollars and used that money for weapons to support whoever we are not supporting in Syria." **(See below)
A Delta commando involved in the operation told Krikorian Writes that if it was not for Bleu's intoxicated state at the time of the raid, things could have really gone "south by southeast".
"Kate was really soused when we entered, so she was a bit slow to her guns," said the soldier, speaking on the condition of anonymity. "In fact, she stumbled over a rocks glass and an empty bottle of Gordon's Gin on her way to the couch where her Glock 40 was waiting, locked and loaded."
A lawyer for Bleu said his client was merely trying to "tell the world Chi Spacca was such an extraordinary restaurant."
"Bleu's whole point was to demystify Chi Spacca, in particular, and Mozza, in general," said attorney William Dithers. "Her message was that even armed with the recipes and techniques, people could simply not make the food taste as good as it does as Chi Spacca."
A former employee of Chi Spacca disputed that defense.
"You wanna nibble on some pure bullshit, then you should start chewing on what Bleu and her attorney are saying," said the employee who requested anonymity. "In truth, Kate was desperate to meet Michael Connelly and Lucas Davenport and thought if she sold the DVDs and bought a new McClaren P1, they might notice her. Sad, but true. And this the woman is married."
Linigington's former GM at Chi Spacca, Theresa Gluck, expressed disappointment at the news.
"I knew Bleu did some spying for Harry Morton over at Pink Taco so he could open Chocolate Starfish, but, da-yum, I thought she was done with that espionage shit," said Gluck. "What can i say? She's stupid."
Kate's parents were dumbfounded by the allegations against their daughter.
"Our Katie loves America, she loves Chi Spacca and she loves her husband," said the suspect's mother, Suzanne McKiernan, from her home in Billings, Montana.
Her father, Joseph, added. "She would never do anything to hurt anyone. She does have a bit of a drinking problem. I mean, it's not really a problem. Not for her, at least."
A server at Chi Spacca was not surprised by today's developments.
"Having worked at Mozza as long as I have, nothing really surprises me anymore," said Veronica Rogov. "I will say after having read the story about her arrest, that the first two syllables of her last name they do kinda sound like "Lenin". Have they arrested her husband, too?"
Bleu's husband, Andrew Vladimir Ilyich Linington, was not at home during the raid, but has been contacted by the FBI and told to not leave the city..
With the loss of Kate Bleu, Mozza was scrambling to find new leadership. Francis Sebastian, a homeless man who often sleeps on the Mozza2Go bench, has been brought in as an acting manager to at least temporarily replace her.
"We offered the job to Corina (aka cook Bianca Almaraz Barrios ), but she didn't want to look at Chad and Ryan all night and I could see her point," said Osteria Mozza general manager Will Simons. "We'll see, but hopefully this bum guy will work out,"
** ( For latest updates on who America is currently supporting in Syria, go to the State Department's Twitter account at @who'sthebestbadguytoday or visit their website at www.ourpreferredtyrant.usa/syr.gov)