Reprinted from the Mozza Tribune
BY JIMMY DOLAN
Mozza’s Ping Pong Room was for many years an exclusive penthouse retreat for the privileged, a peaceful respite from the craziness that is prevalent below.
But, for the last several years, it has become a No Man’s Land, a dumping ground for hoarders, a place for the unwanted. If the Mozza Corner had an Aleppo, the Ping Pong Room was it.
Until Wednesday.. By Friday, even the Vatican had taken notice.
Spurred on by Nancy Silverton, Natasha Behrens and Alan Birnbaum led the charge and the “transformation” of the “PPR” begun.
Natasha, who is no stranger to transformation as evident by her occasional change into Natalie, was lauded by Nancy as “instrumental’ in the cleansing process. After a sluggish start, Behrens, who has something to do with Events, tore into the clutter with a gusto normally associated with methamphetamine.
“I ain’t seen Natasha move so fast since, well, since ever,” said a Mozza employee speaking to the condition of anonymity.
Alan, who had just completed a “Triple Double” earlier in the week, made over 74 trips to the trash cans. After filling up the Corner’s bins, he filled up the bins at Auburn, Trois Mec and Providence.
Thursday afternoon, Los Angeles Mayor WhatsHisFirstName Garcetti toured the reborn Ping Pong Room. Clearly stunned, he turned to the Mozza team and asked “Can you people please come and take a look at Skid Row?”
Although the ping pong table is no longer in the Ping Pong Room, the name will remain. And the PPR is now, with its open space in the middle, available for private events. “Dancing With The Stars” announced today that their 2020 season finale will be filmed in the PPR.
Meanwhile, at the Vatican, Pope Francis compared the ‘transformation” of the PPR to the time when the Roman Empire began its conversion to Christianity in 313 A.D..
“Like in Roman times, the transformation of the PPR was something the non-believers said would never happen,” Francis said. “But, miracles do happen for the believers.”