Bocuse, Guzman, Loiseau, Marchesi, Escoffier Threaten Strike At Tony Gold's After Robuchon Named Chef de Cuisine

A week after Paradise was thrilled to learn Jonathan Gold and Anthony Bourdain were opening a restaurant together called Tony Gold's, the establishment has become embroiled in controversy after the announcement Thursday that Joel Robuchon would be the chef de cuisine.

Four already-hired chefs -  Auguste Escoffier, Fernand Point, Juan "Queso Guzman, Gualtiero Marchesi, Paul Bocuse and Bernard Loiseau  - threatened to walk off the job when they learned Robuchon. who only entered paradise late Sunday night, would be the main man in the heavenly kitchen.

"This is some straight out bullshit, " Escoffier said, throwing a gigantic pan of tournedos Rossini off a Mount Olympus crag.  "I've been up here for, what, 83 years and mashed potato boy been here a few days and he gets the nod?"

Point, formerly of planet Earth's storied La Pyramide in Vienne, France, was also flummoxed. "Joey R is one of the greats, we all know that. But, he really hasn't paid his dues up here.  That's all I'm saying."

As for his part, Guzman, the nearly mystical inventor of the quesadilla, seemed to strike a conciliatory gesture. "Maybe we could rotate. Ya know, like they do in baseball. Koufax one day, then Gibson and so on."

Loiseau, of Earth's Hotel de la Cote d'Or in Saulieu, Burgundy who was praised - and chided - for his water-based sauces, was perplexed. "I guess this means butter time.  Point must be fuckin' thrilled to the point of wood.

Equaling Escoffier in his outrage was Paul Bocuse who is not used to taking orders from anyone, not even French Presidents, said if Robuchon gave him an order he would likely not comply. "When mashed potato boy makes a truffle soup like mine, then maybe'll i'll listen.    

For those coupla dozen Earthlings who don't know yet, last week it was announced the two legends, Jonathan Gold and Anthony Bourdain, had teamed up to open a restaurant named Tony Gold's  There was rejoice from the pearled gates all the way to the summit of Mount Olympus.

A chef de cuisine had not been named, though Bocuse, Guzman's, Point's and Escoffier's name had been bandied about. Then Robuchon, with his 31 stars, moved up and the controversy began. 

Gold and Bourdain, reportedly touring the area in search of Pico Boulevard in Jonathan's Dodge Ram 4-door truck- with the famously well-fed dog Zeke in the truck's bed - were unavailable for comment.

Many local residents were stunned, but felt it was either too soon to comment or out of their field of expertise. . 

"I've been up here for 3,425 years, but leave me out of this one," said Moses, a commandment writer. "You need a sea parted, then get to me, but I don't know jack about the kitchen."  

As for Joel Robuchon himself, well, he wasn't all that thrilled with the new gig. "Look, I just want to cook. As far as I'm concerned, they ought to make Muhammad Ali the main man. At least, everyone would listen to him.

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