Salty Peanut Butter Gelato Catapults to #1 in World Rankings

She takes a forkful of salty peanut butter gelato at Pizzeria Mozza in Newport Beach and nods. Then nods again. Then nods again. Then nods a fourth time. Then, in the rarest of all food compliments, Nancy Silverton nods a fifth time, and says "It's good."

Let them have their three Michelin stars, the four from the New York Times. Five nods from Nancy, that's the ultimate.

I'd have given it five nods, too, if I wasn't preoccupied relishing this extraordinary gelato, which was listed as "peanut butter" this Sunday, but will be changed to "salty peanut butter" because that is what it is. I told chef Emily Corlis that this stuff crept right up to the salt limit wall, but didn't go over, Corlis concurred, saying she "One more grain and it would have been too salty."

But, it's not just the saltiness. It is the creaminess, the pure essence of peanut butter taste that make this worth, not "a journey" as Michelin says of their three star rating, but worth "a brief jail stint". Not at County. I'm not going to over do it. But, worth a night in Hollywood Division, probably two in West Valley. 

Pastry chef Dahlia Narvaez first put peanut butter gelato on the Mozza menus several years back and it comes and vanishes on the menus, which is good. For me, at least.  It's at Newport now and at PIzzeria Mozza in San Diego, though their version is not as salty.  Chef Emily gave credit to Mozza cook Daniel Troyano for making this batch of gelato. This guy should retire right now. Go out like Koufax.

I wrote here about  "The Year in Ice Cream" as 2013 ended, focusing on my yearning for Haagen Daz Chocolate Peanut Butter and, more recently, Steve's Salty Caramel and Jeni' s Salty Czramel. But, nothing I had in 2013 was as good this Salty PB.

I had four or five forkfuls in the kitchen when we walked in, then about a third of a serving portion as an appetizer. I gave it back to pastry chef Annabel and said bring it back for dessert. We ate a tri colore salad, broccolini and good roast chicken.  Then, along with butter praline gelato and rocky road gelato pie, the Salty PB was back.  

"Is it as good as you remember?, Emily asked. "You know, from an hour ago?"

It was. I don't know how long the salty peanut butter gelato is going to be on the menu at Pizzeria Mozza Newport. But, if someone asked me what's the greatest ice cream who ever lived, this Salty PB gets my nod.

The greatest gelato who ever lived

Dan "Salty" Troyano made te batch of gelato that has shocked the ice cream world

The Year in Ice Cream; 339,150 Calories in 1 Flavor

If not for being in Italy six weeks this summer, I would have consumed 300 pints of Haagen Daz Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream in 2013. Even with the trip, the storied 300 figure was attainable, but in early December I bought a pint of Steve's Salty Caramel and the Chocolate Peanut Better (CPB) consumption dropped dramatically. I'll end 2013 with about 285 CPB pints total or .780 ppd*. At 1,190 calories per pint, that's over 1/3 million calories for the year. These stats are certainly good enough to make a local ice cream team, but hardly Hall of Fame numbers.

Before I get into the Steve's Salty Caramel, here's a recap of my recent  ice cream career. 

It was Fall of  2012 when Haagen Daz Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream became, in a newly booze-banned life, my new drink. And like Jack Daniels and Smirnoff Red before it, it became a problem. 

It seemed no different than my addiction to alcohol. I had to have it. I began to make excuses to the woman I lived with, Nancy Silverton, why I had to go back in the house as we were pulling out the driveway. I forgot my wallet, my cell phone. Before, I'd rush back for a gulp of wine from the bottle. Now, it was a forkful of ice cream from the carton.

And I had fallen for a very popular flavor. Too many times CPB would be sold out. There'd be 14 goddamn flavors of Haagen Daz and no chocolate peanut butter. Still, when it was available, I would buy only one at a time. That was my so-called discipline, even knowing I'd be back at the store the next day. To ward off the frequent dreaded "none-available" situation. I rift off a classic tactic of the drunk: Stashing.

I used to stash bottles of vodka, or cheap syrah in the garage or guest bedroom closet. Now I was stashing CPB. Not in the house, in the supermarket. I soon became aware that the Haagen Daz Green Tea was always available. So I would place a CPB about four or five pints back in the green tea line up. Maybe you saw me. I was that guy with his arm all up in the cold cases.

That brilliant tactic came through four, five times at the Ralph's at 3rd and La Brea and the Pavilion ( a Vons with less black people)  at Vine and Melrose. 

I'd watch "The Wire", (my favorite work of art)  or "Breaking Bad" (my second favorite TV show) with the ice cream and I was content. 

So one November day, I'm at the Gelson's on Hyperion and I randomly get a Steve's Salty Caramel. What the hell, try something different. Caramel and salt.  Good combo, right? Plus the price tag was intriguing, too. $6.75 a pint.. Not like this brand called Jeni's Splendid which is $10.95 a pop, but still about three bucks more than Haagen Daz.

Back at the house. I put on some Breaking Bad (the one where Hank gets shot) and took a forkful on this Steve's Salty Caramel. Sensations sped to Taste Buds Mission Control Center. Yeah. That first mouthful and I knew  this was some special. The white caramel ice cream. swirled with salty caramel veins was so luxurious, so creamy. And what a good mouthfeel. I rolled it around my mouth like it was '82 Pichon Lalande.   

I didn't admit it to myself at first, - it took nearly a week - but, I started to crave the Salty Caramel more than the CPB. Perhaps damaged by too much frozen cream traveling near my brain, I felt my loyalty was being tested and that loyalty was losing. It was like I had dropped a dear old comrade for a flashy newcomer.

I went to San Francisco for a week in early December and did without Steve's. but not willingly. I called two Whole Foods (who, along with Gelson's, stocks Steve's), but they didn't have Salty Caramel. Looking to others for relief, my nephew and I packed his Twin Peaks freezer with more pints than I have ever seen in a home kitchen. Bi-Rite Creamery's Salted Caramel, Three Twins' Sea Salted Caramel, Mission Hill Creamery' Salted Caramel Strauss' Egg Nog, Three Twins' Dad's Cardamom, Haagen Daz's Pralines & Cream and some others. They were all good. though none matched Steve's Salty Caramel's lusciousness.

My nephew's freezer 

Then, back home, just a few weeks in as the new Sir Scoop, Steve's faced a new challenge. On December 23, I stopped by that  Gelson's and saw that pricey Jeni's. Jeni Britton Bauer is a ice cream maker out of Columbus, Ohio, who won a James Beard Award for her cookbook, Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream At Home  http://www.jenis.com/jenis-splendid-ice-creams-at-home-signed-copy/ and who is perhaps better known for the high price of her ice cream. I mean $11 a pint? It had to be good. But, how good? I'd been seeing it all year, but never went for the splurge.

So on this winter day, wallet plump. I bought a Jeni's Salty Caramel and a Jeni's Brown Butter with Almond Brittle. And two Steve's Salty Caramels. But, no Haagen Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter. In my cold, ice cream world, it was kinda like "Taps" had played for CPB. 

At home, I put on Breaking Bad (By now Hank was on to Walter) and started with the Jeni's Brown Butter, mainly to test the ice cream itself. Would it be ultra creamy as Steve's. It wasn't. It was very tasty.  Very good and very sweet. With large pieces of Almond brittle, what, it should be sour? But it, wasn't as good to me as Steve's. Yeah, I know it's a different flavor.

Then, now batting, Jeni's Salty Caramel. I even took a photo of the two salty caramels. You'd a thunk it was Ali Frazier.  So I dig in, a heaping forkful. It hits the mouth and you know what? It's really, really  good, but I'm not running for cover. It's not like a knockout. And after several back and forth bites. I decide Steve's is better for me.  It's flavor, it's saltiness that hits at the right time and place, and, for sure, it's creaminess. 

Then, get this, Nancy comes home. She has to go and put doubt in my mouth about the reason for the creaminess of Steve's. There';s something called gum gauer, or some such shit, listed in the ingredients. I hold up a forkful and part of the ice cream hangs over the side, like a cat hanging off a fire escape in a poster, and stays suspended.

"That's the guar gum," said Nancy using the correct term for this questionable ingredient. That why its doesn't fall. I guess a thickening agent. (Are all agents devious?) . I start to not only doubt Steve's. but my own taste buds. Was I fooled by this gaur gum shit?

Did this fuckin' gaur gum account for the rich mouth feel that earned a 9. 7. at the Taste Olympics. I start to give Jeni's more credit for not using gum guaer of whatever that junk is called. Guar gum.  It's definitely not something that grows on a tree in Madagascar. What is it? A stabilizer? What would happen without it? Jeni's doesn't have it and while it might not have the luxuriant mouth feel of Steve's, it's not falling apart. It's not unstable.  I don't even want look at my dear CPB's ingredient list for fear gaur gum is there.. 

Regardless, Steve's won a very controversial decision over Jenis. Though some say, like the Aaron Pryor-Alexis Arguello fight, it wasn't fair with the involvement of gaur gum, the steroids of the ice cream world apparently.

It doesn't matter. Without a doubt the ice cream of 2013, probably of all time, is and will be Haagen Daz CPB. I'll never have an ice cream season like 2013. Almost 300! I can boast about my 2013 ice cream season for the rest of my life. So many satisfying moments CPB and I had together with Stringer Bell and Omar Little, with Walter White and Tuco Salamanca.  

But, then, as the 2013 season winded down, an ice cream shocker! I get solid word  a new super ice cream is in the works. A zultra premium brand. Yes, zultra. Make that Zultra.

It's top secret, but Krikorian Writes has been able to intercept highly classified documents 

Classified Communique #1 :  It will be made in California and a pint is going to be 10 dollars or more.

Classified Communique .#2 :  The people behind this proposal make a premium brand of ice cream, but are looking to go McLaren P1 with this Zultra project. 

Classified Communique# 3 They want Nancy to develop the Zultra premium ice cream. She's got a lot in her cone right now, but she is seriously considering it. 

Unclassified Conclusion (Not, repeat, not prediction)  : If Nancy S starts making ice cream in pints, it will be the best ice cream brand in America. 

And it won't have that gaur gum That's for sure. If I can just get her to make Salty Caramel or maybe even Chocolate Peanut Butter.

Nah, just the Salty Caramel.  I want CPB, I'll get my boy.

#####

*ppd = pints per day

The Last Scoop - If you want to read about ice cream from a real fanatic, check out this guy Steve ( no relations to Steve's), The Ice Cream Informant at http://www.theicecreaminformant.com/    This guy appears to be heading for the Ice Cream Hall of Fame.

Last Drip of this story. : Those 339,150 Chocolate Peanut Butter calories in 2013 were almost all savored, but they put me over 200 pounds. As I "save & publish", Dec. 30, 2013 , 7:59 a.m., I haven't had any ice cream for 34 hours.  I might be on another wagon.

San Francisco, Tastes of the City - December, 2013

I dined at seven San Francisco restaurants recently and ordered only one dish - onion soup with bone marrow dumplings at Cotogna - and requested extra of one dessert - chocolate peanut butter fudge at Boulevard. Why? Because my dining companions ordered like just-released convicts gobbling on a stolen black Amex.

Bouli Bar, Zuni, Boulevard, Cotogna, Coqueta, Quince, Tosca Cafe is where I went with Nancy Silverton and friends: Nancy Oaks, Dahlia Narvaez, Lindsay Tusk, Michael Tusk, Jen Davidson,  Jonathan Waxman, Chad Colby, Hiro Sone and Lissa Doumani, who alone could order for the 6th Fleet. 

I spent six days total in San Francisco. The first four were with my nephew Mesrop, the priest of the St. John Armenian Church in Twin Peaks. Mesop, his wife Annie and I ate very well, too, though not lavishly. Still, of all the foods I ate in Herb Caen's Baghdad by the Bay, the best of the best was some bread and butter in Annie's kitchen. Details down this column. 

But, first, here are the dining highlights of our December trip to San Francisco.

KABOCHA & BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP at Boulevard. I was walking back from the bathroom here, which was a trek from our table near the front of the restaurant, when I spotted this closed-eyed lady relishing some soup.  Me, I'm into a good soup, unlike Nancy S who sometimes quotes - or misquotes - Mario B with a "soup sucks" quip. This soup didn't suck, I sucked it. It had this cave-aged 17-month-old Gruyere custard in the middle.  Damn. And there was some Burgundian truffles and Armangac up in this soup as well.  (Note - The Boulevard menu says the Gruyere is "cave"-aged, but it might have just been stored in a garage, for all I know.) 

CRISP HAMA HAMA OYSTERS & BEEF CARPACCIO at Boulevard.  Nancy Oaks "double plopped" ( the formal restaurant term for dropping two unexpected plates on diners) these scrumptious oysters with a batter did not mask their bright flavor. They came with spinach hollandaise, spinach oil and grated horseradish. Problem with these oysters was I had to share them with other people who so busy talking about restaurants I don't think appreciated the Hama Hamas like I did.

A Boulevard dinner menu - https://www.boulevardrestaurant.com/#menu-dinner

FAGOTELLI di FONDUTA  at Cotogna.  Cotogna is Michael and Lindsay Tusk's casual cousin to Quince and it is a place I always recommend to travelers to San Francisco, even to people I don't know and want nothing to do with me. This is basically a square, folded pasta stuffed with some cheese.  Right?   And that onion soup I ordered? I order it again. 

This here is the dinner menu http://www.cotognasf.com/pdf/cotogna-dinner.pdf

EGG WITH CRISPY POTATO at Coqueta. This Spain inspired jazzy spot by Michael Chiarello and his team,  at Pier 5 on The Embarcadero, was one of the delightful surprises of the trip. I never even heard of this place. But, I think Lissa and Hiro said "go" here. Everything was good, but this dish, a sunny-side egg topped with strands of potato and tender, medium shrimp was excellent.  We also had a sliced bone-in ribeye that tasted right. Michael Chiarello is the big name, but the chef de cuisine at Coqueta is Ryan Mcilwraith. 

Last night I was at the bar at Osteria Mozza and  Rod Dyer, the charming designer and long-time owner of the gone Pane e Vino, was raving about this Ryan. I had to agree.

Famed Mozza pastry chef Dahlia Narvaez said she wanted to bring her husband Chris Feldmeier to San Francisco just to eat at Coqueta  as soon as he goes on "hiatus". So that could be any moment. (That dude is on hiatus more than congress. I never heard anyone use that word so much as Feldmeier. He's like a kid who just learned how to say "motherfucker").  

But, Coqueta? Go. On top of it, the "barman', his name is Joe Cleveland. That's Damon Runyon for you right there.  

The lunch menu of Coqueta: http://coquetasf.com/wpcontent/uploads/2013/11/Coqueta_Lunch-Menu_110713.pdf

TRIBUTE TO JUDY RODGERS DINNER at Quince.  -  The second day I was in town at my nephew's i got a text from my friend, writer Kirk Russell, that "Judy was gone". The love of Kirk's life, his wife Judy Rodgers, famed chef of Zuni Cafe, author of Nancy Silverton's favorite cookbook, and valiant battler, had died at age 57. 

The reason Nancy S had come up here, with Dahlia and Chad Colby was to celebrate the 10th anniversary of Quince, which recently won a second star from the Michelin Guide. Her and Jonathan Waxman were staring. But, Lindsay and Michael Tusk, upon hearing about Judy, made it a tribute dinner with the proceeds gong to cancer research at UC San Diego that Kirk praised.  Out of respect to Judy, we all went by Zuni Cafe earlier for a five o'clock drink. 

The dinner that night was an eight course, six wine flingr that started with Chad Colby's masterful salumi and then moved on to Burrata with royal Osetra, that familiar old cheese and caviar routine we all grew up with.  Waxman's potato gnocchi with celery root and black truffle could - in a proper world - put popcorn outta business.  A tub of that and "Paper Moon". You feel me?

Michael Tusk didn't back off with a goose tortelllini. Waxman came on again with a homage to Judy's Zuni chicken. and then Chad swooped for the coup de grace with a rack of veal, or as we call it at chi Spacca, butter with veal meat and bones. Dahlia Navraez ended the show with an intense chocolate cake that your neighbor didn't make.

After that, we went out to eat at Tosca Café. Hey, I told you we were with Lissa Doumani. You may have heard of food sherpa's, folks from different cities who take travelers out to eat in their town. Well, Lissa is like my boy Tenzing Norgay, the Nepalese Sherpa  who guided  Ed Hillary up Mount Everest in 1953, 

Here's a Dec. 17th menu at Quince. You'll see the Tusks don't play.  http://quincerestaurant.com/brickandtimber/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Quince-menu52.pdf

MIDNIGHT SNACKS at Tosca Cafe.  I had never been to the North Beach landmark called Tosca, but after hearing several stories about this "dive saloon" with a juke box full of Puccini and Sinatra and a vivacious lady owner, I thought it was a borderline shame every city didn't have a Tosca.  Our Friend Michael Cooper told me about how he hadn't been to Tosca  for several years, went in recently and they knew his name, his drink and refused his money. Everyone likes that trio.

I understand it would be wrong to write about Tosca and not mention the heart of Tosca, Jeannette Etheredge. She's around, though not the owner anymore. Her likeness is on the coasters. That's tribute. 

So the Ken Friedman, savvy New York City restauranteur, gets the place, along with one of our favorite chefs, April Bloomfield, and Tosca's running strong on all eight cylinders. And one can still hear "Musseta's Waltz" or "I Get a Kick Out Of You" for a quarter.

We ordered about 15% of the menu and it was all tasty, though my taste was growing weary. Still, if you're looking for a place to fall off the wagon. go here. 

The ideal person to go with would be Jersey girl Jen Davidson, who is Jonathan Waxman's personal Kate Green. Jen is like, well, like she's has been injected with a new fun drug created by Walter White. I'd wager her and Kate together at nightfall would leave a swath of delirious destruction and lead a village to total moral decay. That's a compliment I don't give up often.   

Here's Tosca's menu and a photo of the Jennette coasters:  http://toscacafesf.com/food

PORK SHOULDER SANDWICH at Elmira Rosticceria.   On LIssa Doumani's tip, I went here with my nephew and wife.  Opened in May this year, it's is a small kinda modern place with open kitchen and a tempting chalkboard menu from Marc Passetti, former chef at the Fairmont hotel.  He's been dreaming up this place since Jerry Rice was catching touchdown passes from Joe Montana. The pork shoulder sandwich, with fennel and salsa verde on Acme roll, was devoured. We also shared a "lampredotto", a tripe sandwich like you get at a good food truck Florence. The flavor was spot on. I'd go back here for sure, especially if was near the Civic Center. I was going to go again with the whole  crew, but the passing of Judy gyrated plans. Here's Elmira Rosticerria's facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/ElmiraSanFrancisco

PITA BREAD WITH MEZZE  at Bouli Bar..  This is the new place of the ladies of Boulette's Larder, a long time Ferry Building favorite. The pita bread, damn, I think it was the best pita bread I ever had, not that I'm a pita scholar. The six, seven mezze I dipped the pita into  were all good, the standout being a hummus made of winter squash.  

Here's a Bouli Bar menu:  http://www.bouletteslarder.com/dl_menu_pdf/bouli_bar_lunch.pdf?1387483405523

BREAD AND BUTTER at Annie's Kitchen. - This was it. Way back at the top of this I wrote the top taste I had  in San Francisco was in the kitchen of my nephew and his wife, Annie.  i wrote that a long time ago, but I stand by it. The sesame bread was purchased hot from the oven of Tartine Bakery around 4 p.m., ( thee time to get bread there)_ and the salted butter was Pamplie from the Poitou Charentes region of France. I got it at Molly Stone, a very good grocery store in Twin Peaks.

Resisting on the Muni to tear into the bread and smear it, I went lion on zebra in the kitchen. Umm.  When I took those first blessed bites, I was thinking "Yeah. Bread and butter. Still my favorite."

Respect

PIta at Bouli Bar in Ferry Building

Elmira Rosticceria

Jen Davidson and a guy who I have 94 "mutual friends" with.

Father Mesrop and Annie at Cotogna

Hiro Sone tries in vain to swipe Michael Tusk's white truffle

Pizzeria Mozza's Hot Chocolate Under Investigation

After receiving a formal complaint from the American Hot Chocolate Society, a federal investigation has been launched into the "hot chocolate" served at Pizzeria Mozza to determine if the fabled dessert is what it claims to be, or actually a chocolate sauce.

If the inquiry finds the dessert, which bills itself as "Cioccolato Calda", is, in fact,  a sauce, it could be stripped of its many awards, including Best Hot Chocolate in the World, as well as America's Most Titillating Hot Chocolate.  

"It's not fair to other hot chocolates to be compared to Mozza's, not only because it's so much better, but because it's not even the same thing," said Wilhelm Von Smithers of the Hot Chocolate Institute based in Vienna, Austria. 

The hot chocolate served at Pizzeria Mozza. is a turbocharged version of what chef Nancy Silverton learned to make more than 30 years ago in Paris at Angelina on the Rue Rivoli. Silverton, gracious in crediting the originals, said she's added spices and a marshmallow topping to the Angelina version. 

Some Pizzeria Mozza loyalists felt the federal probe was just another waste of taxpayer's money. It was unclear at press time wither the Trump Administration would continue to fund the investigation after they begin to rot in hell.

"Who cares what it is?" said Sarah Culberon, a princess from the Southside of Sierra Leone. "The main and only thing is that it is absolutely delicious."

Princess of Sierra Leone savors Hot Chocolate

The Subject of a federal probe

Camel Defies San Diego Zoo Ban, Reads "Southside"

Openly defying an official order that banned the crime novel "Southside" from the San Diego Zoo, Mongo the Camel read the crime thriller at the tourist attraction Wednesday while thousands of visitors tried in vain to get his attention. 

Zoo officials, who had banned the critically acclaimed novel Monday in an effort to keep humans from reading  it - and therefore ignoring the animals -  were dumbfounded by Mongo's blatant ignoring of zoo rules as well as his apparent fascination with the Michael Krikorian book, 

Sources within the zoo quoted Mongo, a Bactrian or "Two Hump" camel from the Gobi Desert in the  Southside of Mongolia, as saying "Southside was the best book I've read since "Life of Pi'". 

Christi Carreno, a zoo events organizer, said that while the ban is still officially in effect,  zoo officials would meet in an emergency session today to consider all possibilities. "We want what's best for the animals and if they want to read Southside, then maybe the ban will be lifted for them. But, not for humans."

A Cape Buffalo, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said "We're gonna read Southside. That's not the question. The question is are we going to read legally or illegally. Me, I don't give a damn. I'm just waiting on my copy from Amazon. You feel me?"

Mongo reads the Krikorian thriller

San Diego Zoo Officials Ban "Southside"

"I didn't come all the way from Sumatra to be ignored for Southside" - Anthony the Tiger. ..

...Claiming the new crime novel by Michael Krikorian was inciting "gross animal ignoring", San Diego Zoo officials took extraordinary measures Tuesday and banned the crime writer's critical acclaimed "Southside" from the beloved tourist attraction.

"Too many people were reading the book and just walking right by the rhinos, hippos, tigers and others beasts and that's not fair to the animals," said Zoo official Christi Carreno. "Southside will no longer be allowed in the zoo. And, no, this is not a form of censorship It's simply pro-animal feelings."

Hailed as the best novel ever about a crime reporter covering street gangs, "Southside" chronicles the exploits of fictional journalist Michael Lyons as he explores Los Angeles' roughest neighborhoods. The book began showing up at the world famous San Diego Zoo last week and immediately caused problems.

"I took a bath, shampooed my coat, even used that Paul Mitchell conditioner one of the zebras gave me, but so many visitors walked right by with their snout in that damn Southside book," said Fatbiscuit, a hippopotamus from the Eastside of Uganda.

But, it was an Indian rhinoceros who lead the movement to ban Krikorian's novel by starting a hunger strike this past weekend. The rhino, Calcutta Slim, said he would refrain from any tandoori-based snacks until the book was banned. Other animals quickly joined the hunger strike, including the lions who said they would not eat humans until Southside is banished.

Monday their demands were met.

(Humans will be rerouted around the lion's den for at least one week.)

Zoo visitor ignores Calcutta Slim

Pastry Chef Narvaez Gave Russians Budino Secrets

Renowned American pastry chef Dahlia Navaez was arrested Monday in San Diego after FBI agents discovered she had supplied the Russians with top secret Mozza recipes including  the classified caramel-to-butterscotch ratio on the restaurant's trademark budino.

Navarez is being held without bail at the brig of the USS Midway aircraft carrier which is docked less than half a mile from Pizzeria Mozza San Diego which is set to open today in Seaport Village.

"National security does not just involve guns and bombs, it entails butter and salt also, " said U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder.  "When a country has an advantage over an enemy, do not supply that enemy with  that advantage. But, that's what Narvaez has done. Allegedly."
Under the rules of the Geneva Convention's .Code of Prisoner Treatment, Narvaez was allowed to have one book. Without hesitation, Narvaez demanded - and received - the highly praised crime novel "Southside" by MIchael Krikorian .

Dahlia in the brig at the USS Midway

Fried Skrimps ( and some good Eggplant)

At Chengdu Taste, a Chinese restaurant in Alhambra, I joined a celebration for Laurie Ochoa's birthday the other evening.  As her husband was ordering all these spicy Schezuan dishes, I called out to the waiter, (with Laurie's assistance) "I'm gonna have some of them fried skrimps. That fried shrimp with eggs. Number 96." My frequent dining companion - and love of my life - Nancy Silverton turned to me, smiled and whispered "You're an idiot."

"Why? 'Cause i want some fried shrimp?  I don't want everything all super spicy." 

 "Fried shrimps? That's embarrassing. Plus, don't call them skrimps."

Ten minutes later, Schezuan peppercorn-dotted platters starting dropping on our 10-top like flyers announcing an upcoming bombing raid. Inundated we were. Tea cups were double-decked to make more room on the table that was transformed into a puzzle board  Hey, that duck'll fit there. There was some kind a chicken tidbits with more bones than a Stockholm porno convention. A plate of cold, sliced farm animal so strange that even our table's restaurant critic wasn't sure what it was. Some other plates, all mediocre to me.

Then came the sauteed eggplant with garlic sauce.  This was some good eggplant. I forgot how good eggplant could be.  I'm not saying you gotta drive out to Alhambra just for this eggplant, even if you're in nearby Temple City,  but, if you are at Chengdu, be sure to order it. Number 46, $7.99..    

(Getting back to Temple City for a moment, If anyone knows how many temples there are in that city, let me know. Ralph Waxman, the dean of servers at Mozza, suggested that there were at least twice the number of temples as there are people in Temple City.} 

About 45 seconds after the eggplant made a splash. here comes lamb toothpicks, extremely tasty cumin-coated lamb pieces about the size of a individual Rollo.  I had at least 15 of them, roughly a shoulder chop worth. 

Then came those fried shrimp with eggs. Before it even landed, Nancy was praising the dish, complementing the visual fluffiness of the scrambled eggs and the plumpness of the non-batter sauteed shrimp like she had ordered the dish.  

The shrimp and eggs, the eggplant, those lamb toothpicks. So good I whispered to Nancy, only semi-joshing, that this was "the second best Chinese restaurant in America.." 

Five seconds later, not even. Nancy announced to the table that "This place ( we didn't know the name of it at that point. Like, "Where are we?" ) is the greatest Chinese restaurant in the world."  The woman is constantly stealing key lines from me, then modifying slightly as to claim her own. 

A fish that looked like it had curly fries sticking out his ass made quite a splash. Jonathan Gold wrote masterly about it a few days ago here. http://www.latimes.com/food/dailydish/la-dd-sichuan-lion-fish-chengdu-taste-20131021,0,7720564.story#axzz2iYcRj3UL

Birthday lady Laurie had a fish soup with a jar full of Schezuan peppercorns that made me mouth mini-vibrate like there was a frigate's fog horn going off near my molars.  

Chenku is now my new favorite Chinese restaurant in town, not that I know much about the subject.. But, it must be a slew of others' top pick, too. When we walked out the sidewalk, the scene reminded me of a Saturday night outside Pizzeria Mozza. or even a night outside Pepe in Grani in Campania. ( http://krikorianwrites.com/blog/2013/9/2/the-worlds-second-best-pizza ) A couple dozen people, waiting easy to get in, knowing something good would soon be dropping on their table.

As we sped on to the Long Beach Freeway from Valley Boulevard, passing my Cal State L.A.  alma mater, I said to Nancy "Those shrimp and eggs were good, right?"

"Delicious." 

"So you still think i'm an idiot?" 

"Sometimes. But, maybe not tonight." 

Chengdu Taste is 828 W. Valley Boulevard, Alhambra. Open 7 days 11:00 a.m. to Midnight. (626) 588-2284.    

Waiting easy on Valley Boulevard

Peppercorn fish soup

Lion Fish .wanna be. 

Wild Celebration in Panzano At Butcher Dario Cecchini’s Wife Kim's Birthday Party Leaves Several Injured

Sept, 29, 2013 A.D.

At least 14 people were wounded by falling bullets Saturday in Tuscany after rambunctious revelers fired their AK-47s skyward in a wild celebration for the birthday of Kimberly Wicks,  aka "The Grace Kelly of Panzano" , aka "Killa Kim".  None of injuries were life threatening, though many reported a strange, even-more-intense-than-usual craving for "Burro di Chianti" aka lardo.

Officials estimated  up to six million people converged on the Chianti countryside to get a chance to met Kim and Dario Cechini, a butcher much better known as "Kim's Husband."  In downtown Panzano itself, where the couple are often found working, drinking and generally having a wonderful life, the mood was that of a liberated village.

Cleaning crews from around Europe and the Middle East were still being deployed in Tuscany late Sunday following a massive and wild celebration

Wicks, whose official title is Head Dishwasher at Antica Macelleria Cecchini, is widely considered to be the First Lady of Panzano. She first came to Italy in the 1990s, hoping to escape a life of crime in California where she hung out with the like of Big Evil, and Big Mike, both of the infamous MAKMAK47 Revolutionary Brigade. It was in California where she earned the nickname Killa Kim", as well as her other Nom de Guerre "The Blonde Widow" after her first nine husbands died mysteriously.  

Her tenth  husband, Dario "the Butcher", seems to be having the time of his life. As a gift to his beloved wife, Dario presented Kim with a 2,337 year-old-tin of Ancho;vies, originally given to Alexander the Great for conquering Panzano in 324 b.c..

 Alexander had stashed the tin with orders not to open until "Another extraordinary event occurs in, in, where are we again? India? Persia? Tyre? Oh, yeah, Panzano" 

Legendary tin once presented to Alexander

Bread and pastry man delivers

Throngs crowd Panzano Streets to get near Kim Wicks