In an effort to assuage public outrage over Saturday's Los Angeles City Council-approved Pub Crawl led by two Assyrian brothers, the LAPD announced it would increase both foot and horse-mounted patrols along the Sunset Boulevard route of what has been called "a drunken stumble of debauchery and arguments."
Reversing himself on a campaign promise, Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti said he is bound constitutionally to allow the controversial "Cultural Stroll" along Sunset from Western Avenue to Downtown. However, in Friday's closed session of the City Council, Garcetti said he hopes it "rains like dogs and cats Saturday and the sip 'n stumble is canceled", according to sources..
Both organizers of the pub crawl, where attendees stop at a bar for a drink then walk to the next bar for another until they reach Union Station, professed bewilderment over the negative response to the upcoming event.
"I don't get the big uproar over a few guys having a beer or two and walking along one of the most famous streets in the world," said Chris Feldmeier, who, along with his brother Duke, is organizing the event. "You would think people would welcome a group of culturally minded men who enjoy the city's incredibly diverse cultures and will not be on the roads driving."
The route will go through Little Armenia, Thai Town. Filipino Town, Michoacan North, Dodger Stadium South, Echo Park, and Chinatown.
Duke Feldmeier, a professor of anthropology and Chris's brother, said the "stroll" will give participants "a ground-level view of some of the most vibrant cultures in the city. It is one thing to drive by and see the diversity, it is a completely different and enthralling experience to walk among the cultures."
Still,many weren't buying it.
"Cultural stroll, my ass, it's a sip 'n stumble if I every heard one," said Rabbi Golda Strichmarcs, who will lead a protest march at the point in the walk where participants are expected to reach .20 blood alcohol level, (two-and-a-half times the legal limit). "Well, if you consider vomiting on public monuments cultural, then I guess it is accurately named."
In addition to a heavy LAPD, the FBI will be monitoring the "walk". David Chang, Special Agent in Charge of the Los Angeles Field office, said it was a "no brainer" the FBI would have an interest in the march "Look at the guy in the photo below. He's the poster boy for a mid-level Al Qaeda commander."
Meanwhile. Philippines president Rodrigo Duterte has offered to send a representative, Francis Sebastian, to "represent Manila with all the class, curiosity and open-mindedness for which we are famous."
Both Feldmeiers rejected outright Duterte's offer.
"I want to have fun," said Chris Feldmeier, "I do not, repeat, do not. want a two-hour lecture on Genghis Khan."
The list of announced walkers reads like a who's who of rambling drunks with opinions so fixed it would take a car bomb to dislodge them. One of them, Ken Epstein - a Jew from Australia, which automatically makes him suspicious -. is perhaps best known - and loathed - for a Facebook comment that seemed to indicate he did not think Donald J. Trump is one of the five worst people in recorded history.
At press time, it was not known if Epstein's chief Facebook opponents, Ralph Waxman and Murray Rubinstein, would partake in the sip'n stumble. I mean Cultural Stroll.